THIRTEENTH SHOT

[dog_eat_dog]

[Dictated]

Some of you have really absurd names, you know that?

It's weird enough that some of you just have ridiculous hippy names like "Howl" or "Cloud" or "Vicious" or "Firethroat" or whatever but then there's all these pretentious names that are really titles. Not just a doctor, The Doctor, and there's a Fifth and a Tenth but who knows what happened to the others.

And then there's not just some guy named Lorax, but he's The Lorax. What the fuck is a Lorax in the first place? Fuck if I know, but maybe I should be honored to live up the hall from not only a Lorax but The Lorax. He sounds like a cleaning product mascot, like Mr. Clean.

I almost wish the castle had kept my nameplate Dog Eat Dog just so I could have a ridiculous name plate. I mean, mine doesn't even include a last name normally. Or maybe changed it to something smoother: Queen of Boston. The Queen of Boston.

Comments

Oh boy. Loss time. Expect meanness. I apologise right now.

[toobravehearted]

I completely agree. A pretentious, self-serving title. What does he think he's doing? Come to make us all better? I think he could do with a change of mind, your Majesty.

hahaha that's alright :)

[dog_eat_dog]

I could agree on principle alone, but I can't say I know the guy personally. I guess it would depend on what kind of doctor he is, or why he's only the fifth or the tenth and not in first place.

Dictated forever

[indirectcause]

I met the Doctor. I didn't know there was more than one. Maybe it's some sort of weird...doctor ranking. Like ninjas.

[Ben that makes no sense, stop.]

...Who the fuck names their kid 'Vicious'?

Dictated

[dog_eat_dog]

Sociopaths, probably. Siblings are Savage and Ruthless. ["Ruth" for short.]

Didn't you ask him why he was named that?

[forsometimenow]

Nice to see you're still your usual chipper self.

[dog_eat_dog]

What's not to be chipper about?

dictateeeeed

[sworn]

[She's not gonna argue about some of these names being absolutely ridiculous, but it does beg the question.]

What constitutes a "normal" name in your opinion?

[dog_eat_dog]

Pronounceable.

[Dictated]

[strangewonders]

There is nothing 'hippy' about my name.

[Ridiculous, yes, but that's really his own fault for changing the spelling. Which doesn't mean Howl's not going to be indignant about it.]

[dog_eat_dog]

Yeah? Who are you?

Dictated and oh how I have missed this

[not_nikkiheat]

Well, we can't all be D'Urbervilles.

[dog_eat_dog]

Thanks, totally love getting that reference, like I'm also some misunderstood rape victim with a shitty life who gets executed.

[gottaknockhard]

[Spike takes special enjoyment from anyone making fun of Vicious' name who doesn't know any better. So few people had the balls to do it back home, aside from Spike.]

'Dog Eat Dog', huh? [Now he's interested. He should have tried harder to match those nicknames before.]

[dog_eat_dog]

It's my favourite philosophy.

[willrememberthat]

Were you bored today?

[dog_eat_dog]

Very.

[shortishandbossy]

I'm the guardian of the forest in my world, kid.

[dog_eat_dog]

[Zeroing in on the offensive part of that phrase:]

"Kid?"

[im_the_doctor]

Oi!

You're missing the point. In many cultures there's a meaning behind a name given. A title is earned or inherited and a way to clarify who you're referring to.

[dog_eat_dog]

Yeah? Because it's not very clear when you're in a castle full of people with normal names.

[Dictated]

[nothingtobelieve]

Names have power.

[Not that he's actually going to defend his; it's not something he considers necessary]

[Dictated]

[dog_eat_dog]

The power to make people roll their eyes, maybe.

dictated;

[samson]

I dunno, this kind of stuff is super normal to me.

[Then again Brock kicks it with a guy named Shoreleave... and also 'Brock Samson' is somewhat on the absurd side as well.]

Guy I know? His name is Pete White. And he's an albino. You gotta wonder what kind of shitty ironic name lottery some of these people win.

dictated;

[dog_eat_dog]

Yeah, well, it starts with a woman named Cocktease, right? Jesus.

Pete should be glad he didn't get named Snow or something.

[footnote]

I say, that's a little harsh, don't you think? People can hardly help the names that they're given.

[Not that he's sensitive about it at all. Centuries of being teased by Gabriel for not having quite as majestic a name was a little wearing, though he might privately agree with her that The Lorax is a very odd one.]

[dog_eat_dog]

[Oh, that nice guy. A pause.]

You can't convince me that parents saddle their kids with names like "THE Lorax." That shit has to be chosen, as far as I'm concerned.

dictated sssorry for being so late

[woodking]

And what is a name? There are many languages, and many conventions of naming; a title that sounds fair one one may be poor in another. And, indeed, what is a title but another name?

[Elves were flexible about this sort of thing.]

that's okay! \o/

[dog_eat_dog]

I'm not about to start calling people by titles that have zero meaning to me or my culture.

[batteriesarehard]

[Oh this is really funny.]

Lucky me, I get one of the popular and ordinary names.

[dog_eat_dog]

As long as you don't spell it all stupid like Karlee or Karli or Kharlay or something, yeah.

[originalcopy]

You are such a ray of sunshine you know that? [And people call him an asshole.]

[dog_eat_dog]

Every day of my life.