003 ☠ dictated

[dgaf]

[ Here at last, the elusive Effy no longer hiding behind loopy writing or Morse code, if only because her arm hurts too much to do either. Today she dictates to the journal, raspy as if after much crying and sounding just as tired. She might as well be reading the dictionary: ]

Monster. From the Old French monstre. A bad portent.

A large, ugly, frightening imaginary creature. Or to criticize and reprimand harshly. To monster. [ She chuckles a little, dryly. ]

We have many monsters here. They're everywhere. Outside your window. Under your bed. In your bed. [ Another giggle. ] If we imagine something, does it become real? When we forget, does it disappear? But when it's quiet and you close your eyes and concentrate, you'll remember. And it comes back to you.

You can't imagine broken bones. Can you?

Comments

[dog_eat_dog]

[Clipped and businesslike:]

Sure I can. Who can't?

[dgaf]

[ YOU. Effy even sounds like she's bristling like an angry, angry cat. ]

I said I can't. Couldn't.

[dog_eat_dog]

[Tess isn't into cats. Cats are trouble.]

But now you can, huh?

[dgaf]

[ Cats and teenagers. ]

Thanks to somebody.

[dog_eat_dog]

Learn your lessons and move on, kiddo.

[And she doesn't let it show, but inside, she feels guilty. She was out of line and overreacting, but like she'd admit that now.]

[Dictated]

[therealrisette]

[That voice... she knows it, but she hasn't heard it over the journal before.

Rise missed most of the things that happened in January, but she heard enough over the journals to instantly worry that Effy was somehow hurt during... whatever incident she missed out on by not having legs at the time.]

Was there an actual monster this time? [As soon as she asks, she realizes that she might have to explain why she doesn't know.] I... didn't really get out of my room for a while. So I didn't see anything...

[Explaining the reason why isn't nearly as important as making sure Effy's okay, though!]

[Dictated]

[dgaf]

[ That bloater episode was traumatic to say the least but it was a human that she feels hurt her far more. So which is the monster? That was what she meant to ask in the most roundabout way. ]

What makes a monster? An ugly mug or a hideous heart?

[Dictated]

[therealrisette]

[Oh. Rise might just understand this, in a way. She's known a truly terrible person or two, after all...]

... The worst are the ones who seem normal, but do horrible things...

[A similarly roundabout answer? But she thinks she understands. Maybe.]

[Dictated]

[dgaf]

[ That's about the clearest answer she can ask for really. Effy takes the time to light up a smoke and exhale slowly. ]

But it should show, right? If someone's up to no good, it shows.

[Dictated]

[therealrisette]

Yeah. Most of the time...

... Some of them are really good at hiding it. But it can't last forever.

[She tried hiding things, herself. Not that she was up to no good, but hiding her own pain. Confusion. Frustration. Anything that got in the way of her playing the perfect little idol up on her pedestal.

... The act never lasts forever. No matter what it's hiding.]

Voice

[hasmommyissues]

You'll be surprised at what some of us can imagine.

Tell me dear ... what monsters do you believe in?

Voice

[dgaf]

I believe in everything.

[ A life motto. But that's not what he's asking. ]

Sometimes we say monster to mean not human, but it isn't true.

Voice

[hasmommyissues]

Such a headstrong tone for somebody who sounds so young.

I couldn't agree with you more dear. Some of the biggest monsters out there are the ones that accompany you on the train to work, serve you food from your local restaurant or live just across the road from you.

Human beings are capable of being so very wicked. And the biggest punchline of them all is that they don't even know it deep down.

Voice

[dgaf]

[ Headstrong is right, she thinks, except for the second part. Strong. She is guarded and prickly precisely because she isn't strong. ]

But we know it, don't we? What does that make us?

Voice

[hasmommyissues]

[He pauses for a moment to consider this.]

Enlightened.

Dictated; sorry for the late

[indirectcause]

Pretty sure some monsters don't vanish if you stop believing in them.

...Hey, you ok?

Dictated; never late!

[dgaf]

Yeah, I got that lesson.

And no. But why do you care?

<33

[indirectcause]

I don't know, because I'm not a complete asshole? Do you need help or something?

[dgaf]

That's news.

[ The news is that Effy's the asshole. Or not. ]

I needed more ice but I'm super now.

[indirectcause]

Wow, who spit in your cheeseburger?

[There's a pause.] Okay, that's something?

[woodking]

They are not always imaginary, but neither are they always so easy to spot.

[He has experience in this.]

To forget makes nothing disappear, if once it was.

[dgaf]

[ The worst ones are the ones in hiding, she thinks. ]

So how do you make it vanish?

[woodking]

Evil does not vanish when you close your eyes and will it to be gone. You must fight it, always, every day, if you would not allow it to win. Such a battle rarely stops, but it is all that may be done.

[dgaf]

[ She thinks for a moment. ]

Only when it's inside. The real monsters. You can kill them, right?

[woodking]

It is not always so easy to kill them, and others may come when one is slain. And so that is a battle as well. One which may be won, perhaps, or for a time, but to relax your guard merely because of that is an invitation to trouble.

But there may be times of peace, yes. If you are lucky.

[He has intimate experience with this, having spent the past 2000 years beating off giant spiders and an evil ghost. FUN TIMES.]