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[both_neither]

[Gren wonders, abstractly, if the universe is out to get him. And then he remembers that in Paradisa, this is actually true.

The man sits half slumped on the bench of the baby grand piano in the parlor, one long leg stuck off one side of the bench and one arm curled on the top of the lid, his eyes staring down at the keys.

He'd expected whatever madness that had come over Vicious and Spike to end after the first of the month, but it hadn't, leaving him feeling oddly...lost. It wasn't as if anybody had died or gone home or turned into a different person entirely. He'd known that the two were friends once, but deep down maybe he never really believed it. But now he's seeing it for himself and all part of him wants is to keep Vicious to himself. Another part of him, however, is intrigued by this glimpse into the past. Into the things that might have been. And he's not sure which version he wants more.]

[Away from Spike and Vicious]

Has the castle ever given you glimpse into the past or a possible future? Or have you ever just wondered what your life would be like if certain things had gone differently? Maybe the enemies you have would be your friends, or vice versa...

[He finds himself trailing a finger over the shiny surface as he speaks, tracing the edges of the keys with faint longing]

Or maybe I'm just thinking about this too hard.

[Some slightly masochistic impulse makes him idly try a small scale on the keys, and notes ring out in perfect rhythm before stopping with the sound of an indrawn breath. It could be a fluke, but he doesn't think the castle believes in those. The scale plays again, immediately transforming into the opening chords of a soft, slightly forlorn melody.

Gren lets out a sound that's half laugh and half sob, and he covers his mouth for a few long moments as it truly sinks in at last. This thing he'd been denied for over two years of his life. He could reach it again. He could be whole.]

...I can play.

[And with a smaller laugh, giddy and full of disbelief, he starts to do just that. This time the tune is exultant and bittersweet. And it keeps playing as he pauses briefly to dictate another message -]

[To Spike and Vicious]

You guys doing anything tonight? I have something to celebrate.

Comments

[patheticvillain]

I've seen it. But not here.

[His voice is deliberately even, because Gren's is not. A solid place to stand. He can play. What does that mean?]

[both_neither]

[The music in the background tells that story a little for him. A wandering jazzy melody with no real direction except to celebrate that his fingers no longer stumble on the notes.]

And what did you think when it happened?

[patheticvillain]

[He waits a moment before he answers, letting the music say what it's going to say. Then, flatly:]

I thought I was a monster.

[both_neither]

[The music stops]

And do you think that now?

[stainedglassreflections]

I wouldn't know about enemies made friends, or the opposite, but pasts? Those seem to come with dreams, here and home.

Unfortunately, all the "little things gone differently" - I think those end up with me dead in almost all circumstances.

[both_neither]

Multiple paths to the same end? You're sure of that fate?

[stainedglassreflections]

All that comes to mind is "Ferris didn't arrive when she did" - oops, dead. "Ryner didn't lose control" - oops, also dead. Or in that last case "Ryner didn't calm down" which is also.. oops dead.

[both_neither]

Does it bother you?

Gren

[gottaknockhard]

[For a long while after Spike sees this filter, he assumes Gren made a mistake including him. He doesn't know him that well, so it's possible he'd be careless enough to do something like that.

Then again, he's been acting strangely since the last time they ran into each other. So far, the lines are too hard to read between, which leaves him one choice.]

Something to celebrate. [Really, he has no clue.]

Spike

[both_neither]

[He's playing along with this loss while it's happening. Part of it is hoping he can pull a real friendship out of this. Part of it is keeping Spike where he can see him. Yet another part is gleaning a little insight into both men]

Listen... [He plays a little louder, improvising a little as he goes just to enjoy the feeling of it.]

That's not a recording.

Gren

[gottaknockhard]

[Clearly he's thought too much about this. Spike still doesn't get it, but give him long enough and he'll put this together. Maybe.]

You want to put on a concert for us?

Spike

[both_neither]

[He laughs and continues playing]

Well I could...if you'd like that. I might be a little bit rusty. But I was thinking more along the lines of a night out in town.

[radiantwingedone]

... Isn't that what nightmares are for?

[ Although, if he was honest, one of the "if a thing changed" dreams was something he considered nice. ]

[both_neither]

Depends on what your nightmares are like.

[radiantwingedone]

... Accurate.

[ Faintly amused, but- ]

But the worrying over "what if something changed", does that not usually come in the form of a nightmare? "I forgot my homework" for students, "I cannot fight like I know I am able to" for those who can.

[both_neither]

A lot of people have dreams like that. It's more...specific than that. What I was thinking.

See, my friend is on this loss. I've pieced together that this is how he was before we met. I'm glad he still remembers me but I kind of wondered if things had gone differently for us if we'd met back then.

Filter

[i_rule_me]

Trust me mate; As a person who used ta be able ta see all possible futures, it's not a thing anyone wants. Ta know how all o' your decisions'll play out, knowin' that even the slightest change could knock the whole bloody thing off course is...not a great burden ta have.

[Though of course, David has only his own experience to draw upon. Seeing the fractal fern of all of his possible futures, and seeing how they all ended in either his death, or the death of every mutant on the planet. It was why he'd chosen to smash the whole bloody works into a million pieces, so that he wouldn't have to choose a future that made him into a monster.]

[both_neither]

I suppose it'd be a lot for any mortal. It's also pretty human to dwell on the impossible. We used to dream of the stars, too, and by my time we have colonies all over the solar system.

[i_rule_me]

Aye, you've got a point there. Greener pastures an' all o' that. It's different, I s'pose, if yuir already there.

Nice bit on the piano, by the way. I've never really had any time t'appreciate things like that, but bein' here sorta makes me think about some o' the things I've missed.

Gren

[nothingtobelieve]

All of the sudden?

[Not that he has plans... he's just not sure what Gren could possibly have come up with that needs celebrating]

Vicious

[both_neither]

Vicious, I can play...

[And maybe it doesn't mean the same thing to Vicious as it does to him, but Vicious should at least know what he's been missing for two years. The piano sounds re-double to illustrate his point]

Gren

[nothingtobelieve]

Well.

[And there's a pause, because it doesn't mean much to him, but he knows it matters to Gren]

That's reason enough, I suppose.

[givetheslip]

I think most people wonder that once in a while. But there's little point in dwelling on what can't be changed.

[both_neither]

Normally I wouldn't, but then it happens and I can't help but wonder, you know?

[givetheslip]

I do. [Mental self-discipline only goes so far.] But it's better to try not to. There are always distractions to be found, if you look for them.