[Twenty-Three - Right Through The Eye] [Last Night...]

[the_effect_she_has]

( Day One Report - Filtered away from the First Gens, the Bugs, and anyone who would assist them. )

Nepeta: Try to stop caring (and fail at it).

[rogueofheart]

[The kitchen is in shambles, so watch your step. Empty milk cartons are scattered around, as if someone decided to drink the castle's supply of milk and just toss the garbage aside. In fact, that's exactly what happened. The fridge is completely empty of milk and milk-substitutes. There are also little puddles of milk that seem to have seeped out from the discarded cartons, pooling where they may.

And in the center of the kitchen? There's one feline troll laying on her back and staring at the ceiling with a vacant, far off expression. She makes no attempt to move out of anyone's way, letting anyone who passes simply walk around her.

Her journal lays discarded a few feet away from her, open and with only a few words written. It's as far as she got before the milk binge began.]

Rose left, too.

Twenty-first Gate

[forsometimenow]

The town clinic is now back open for its usual hours. Sorry for the abrupt closure a week ago. I took a much-needed but unplanned mental health break.

[And she's going to leave it at that, but will explain (under filter) to anyone who's curious.]

First Mission ⊕ Do you want ants? Because THAT'S how you get ants. [Accidentally Dictated]

[fairlyclassichim]

[Sterling Archer, international spy, is suction-cupped to the outside of the 30th story of a skyscraper. His colleague is careening down to her death, having slipped mere seconds ago.]

AAAAAAARRRRRCCCCHHHHHHEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!

I'M COOOOOOMMMMMMMIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!

Phrasing! Oof!

[Archer launches off the building into a backwards swan dive and freefalls after her in hot pursuit.]

LAAAAAAANNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAA! WOOOOO HOOO HOOOO-HOOOOO!

[He passes her and turns mid-air, ready to grab on to the building again and catch her.

Instead, he comes to a sudden stop as he crashes down... on top of a dude... in some kind of bright turquoise body armor... in a strange kitchen he's never seen before in his life. The force of the fall slams them both into the counter, sending food flying everywhere as they both skid to a rough stop against the cabinets.]

WHAT THE SHIT? Where the hell am I? LANA!

540 - and I would walk 500 miles (backdated to Monday @ 10!)

[hard_talker]

[guess what? at 10 PM, there's the sound of crickets. no, really, crickets. and fire crackling low under random chatter. after a moment, there's a mechanical whirr, a click, and - oh, hey, listen, it's Hard Harry's trusty theme song ... which plays for all of ten seconds before there's some distortion on the tape, and this kicks in instead]

Hey hey hey, guess who, kids? You didn't really think that just because ol' Hard Harry pulled up camp and headed out with the rest of the wandering intrepid horde, you'd get a nice quiet Monday night, didja? Shame on you.

Honestly, for those of you who've never been out past the Dead Zone, I gotta admit, it's pretty neat. Took a trip in the TARDIS, got to ride on one of the steam engines, saw some ... weird-ass buffalo ... Yep, yours truly is wishin' he had a Polaroid right about now, but fear not, Nora's drawin' her fingers to the bone, which is even better if you ask me.

As for what's been goin' down? We're due to reach our destination sometime tomorrow, so it's been pretty quiet so far. Seriously. I can almost hear myself snoring, right now. I don't even have that many Blanketeers to stalk, just a handful this week: Thorin, Steve, Ace, Rodney, and Elfie.

So ... as weird as it sounds to ask this, all you loyal listeners back in the kingdom of Wonderfuck ... what're we missin'? Anything good? I can't really do requests, since I've only got a couple tapes with me and limited juice in the ol' boombox, but ... At the very least, I can give you some stuff from some guys who got together, made a band, and decided to call it Cracker.

[and he presses play on the other tape deck. enjoy Kerosene Hat, folks]