1/008: This means war!

[wheatdos]

[Filtered to everyone but GLaDOS.]

[There is a bit of shuffling and tapping as Wheatley opens his journal.]

"Hello? Hello... can you hear me? Can anyone hear me? Okay... is this-is this- okay, okay... uh... [Ahem]...one, one moment. Just... just a moment please. I need to- [More shuffling sounds] Okay."

A-ATTENTION HUMANS....

and non-humans I suppose. Okay, okay attention ANYONE in this castle...

I AM HERE TO WARN... TO WARN YOU THAT THERE IS A VERY... VERY DANGEROUS WOMAN... IN THIS CASTLE.

at... at this moment! She uh...

SHE'S KILLED MANY PEOPLE BEFORE, and she SHOULD UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE, be... be trusted. Because she's insane. And will probably try to kill everyone here if you give her the chance. I would know. So DON'T TRUST HER if she tries to go, go recruiting you for... for sciency things. B-Because she's not doing anything for science. DON'T TRUST HER. Did... did I say that already. If you see her, IGNORE HER. Or, or actually you should probably just run. Yes. Running is a good option too.

So... bewaaare.

Comments

[loves_osaka]

Can I get a description?

[wheatdos]

Wh-white hair mate. Short white hair. She's got these- these strands of brown in them, and these-oh! And these yellow eyes. Big yellow eyes. Glowing almost.

She's insane mate. She won't be hard to find. She loves science just as much as I do. Except with... with more crazy."

[loves_osaka]

Could I get a name on her? If she's a danger to th' lives of the residents, as a detective, I need t' know all I can.

[deterrence]

[sounds oddly like you on a certain level, she thinks]

I'll keep that in mind. [and also consider if known threats will be alerted to the presence of someone who might help them out]

[wheatdos]

"You can't possibly be as calm as you're-as you're letting on."

[deterrence]

What would panicking do for me? [at least there's a physical description that can help identify who to avoid]

[secondchances]

That's kinda vague...

[wheatdos]

"Specifications. Right. Specifications, of-of course. How-how do you humans specify to identify those of your own kind? Eh? Give me something."

[secondchances]

Name? Age? Hair color, eye color? You know, physical appearance... for starters, anyway.

Filter

[encryptedlock]

[He already knows - is probably one of the only people who knows, actually, but York has to mention an important detail.]

And this woman is...?

[wheatdos]

"Are-are you looking for a name mate? If you're looking for a name, I-I unfortunately I can't help you. Back in my world, when-well, before it fell apart, she only went as 'her'. She had no name. Th-then again, I guess they don't name insane monstrous psychopaths."

Dictated

[wizard_redfive]

[Not sure if serious or just trolling]

And her name is...?

[wheatdos]

"A name. Right... uuuuuuuunfortunately I can't give you a name, love. You-you see, I come from a world, or- or should I say a lab, where we don't have names. She's back from my world and everyone- and everyone there, we always referred to her as... 'her'.

I guess it was for practicality purposes, but it could be just because someone that insane doesn't deserve a name."

[cheerupemoborg]

Does this person have a name?

[wheatdos]

"That's the catch mate. She comes from my universe, and she-she doesn't have a name. Everyone back where I come from, we always called her... 'her'.

Funny thing really. We didn't actually really need names 'till we got here."

[exanimatus]

Does she have a habit of trying to kill everyone, or is that just conjecture at this point?

[wheatdos]

"Oh it's a habit. Ohhhh yes. Oh-or should I say, at this point it's more than just a habit. It's a way of life."

[broketheworld]

Do all murderers have to wear warning signs?

[wheatdos]

"It'd be more convenient if you asked me, mate."

[jimfromit]

You don't say.

Do you have a picture you could give me? You know so I can keep an eye out for the bad lady.

[wheatdos]

"A picture..."

[He says that thoughtfully.]

"IIIIIII.... don't have a picture, but- oh! but tell you what. Here's an idea. I'll get one. It'd work much better than describing her anyway. Are you- are you one of those detective blokes, by any chance? Gonna get the bad guy, er... girl."

[thebutz]

That sounds horrible! Is she attractive?

...on the other hand, who is she, anyway? I mean I can't hit on... Uh, avoid her if I don't even know her name or anything!

[wheatdos]

"Wha-what? Who knows about you humans and your-your definition of attractive...ness? But-but You can't possibly be se-"

[He pauses.]

"Better yet, you are serious, a-aren't you?"

[perfectisnteasy]

[yeah, he's stalking this whole thing, obviously, and will tell GLaDOS straightaway]

Thanks for the info, man.

[wheatdos]

[Aw yeah. Helping people.]

"N-not a problem."