1/009: Damage control! [Dated a few days later.]

[wheatdos]

"

Non Judgmental people:
"Have... have you ever had the urge to... to just kill everyone? Maybe? And I mean really push it too, like... crush them into a paste or... or something like burn them up...

B-But then you don't because you... uh, well you started to care about someone and you don't want to hurt them? Because that would obviously make them angry, obviously. Yeahhh, what do you do about that?

"

Nick:

[A shuffling sound in the journal indicates that even after all this time, Wheatley isn't exactly sure how this is supposed to work.]

Hello? Mate?

[A nervous laugh]

"I notice... that uh, you never came to eat that cake. But... uh, that's... that's okay."

[He laughs a little sadly.]

"I was uh... wondering if you could help me with something else."

"

Dhaos:

"Mate I have a problem... well, it's more than just a problem actually..."

"

Larry:

"Alright. About that date! Hey, you know mate... I can bring her to your apartment too... How- how does that sound?"

"

Maya Fey:

"Love, I... uh, I was... wondering if I could speak to you in private."

Comments

[takethat]

Well, Larry does need a woman in his life. I don't necessarily think it should be this particular woman, but... I guess it's worth a try.

But if you're the one setting them up and you don't want me spying on them, then what do you want from me?

[wheatdos]

"I don't want you to do anything. I just want you to help me."

[He nodded.]

"Okay, I was hoping to have- have you do it. I don't like to get myself involved in the human interactions. It's ridiculously boring."

[takethat]

...yeah, I'm not doing your dirty work for you.

...but if you and that woman really don't get along at all, I can at least ask her about it. You ask Larry.

[wheatdos]

"Okay, nonononono. Don't do that."

[He shakes his head.]

"It's better if you don't... do that."

[takethat]

Ooookay.

[This is just... irritating.]

Well, when you can give me an exact description of what it is you want me to do, then you let me know.

[wheatdos]

"Okay, okay. Let's try it like this. You. Tell me how to make two humans fall in..."

[He squints a little and swallows.]

"L...love."

[He says it like he ate something gross.]

[takethat]

[He barks a laugh at that.]

You can't make two humans fall in love. Love just happens where it happens--it can't be forced. Of course said humans knowing each other and getting along is always a good start...

[wheatdos]

[He claps his hands together.]

"That's... that's good! That's a start! What-what else is... is a good start?"

[takethat]

That's all I've really got. If they don't meet, obviously there's no chance of them ever falling in love.

[A pause]

And if they don't get along, that's almost worse.

[wheatdos]

"Huh."

[It's supposed to be a thoughtful one, but it's actually an uninterested huh.]

"Alm-almost worse?"

[takethat]

...I said that out loud? Well, no, don't worry. That part doesn't have any bearing on Larry and what's-her-name. They should go to dinner or something.

[Talk fast and cover up your mistake, Phoenix!]

[wheatdos]

[He nods slowly.]

"Dinner. Right. Dinner is the first step then. That's... easy enough. Say mate, if I have any questions, I can... come to you, right?"

[takethat]

...sure, Wheatley. Why not?

[This is spoken in the most defeated tone of voice... but he has no excuses and no reason not to agree, so he really doesn't have a choice here.]

THAT PICTURE ASDJHFL LOL

[wheatdos]

"Great! I'll be hearing more of you then. Alot more."