Four Truffula Trees

[whichwayyoulean]

[The screaming of babies over the journals is a well known sound by now, and the screaming coming from this one is no different. Except that halfway through a particularly loud scream, someone has decided to start strumming a guitar. Which is soon joined by what might be called a lullaby, if the singer had no idea how to make babies go to sleep. Which is pretty much the case here]

♫ Hush little baby
Sleep time is now
Your diaper is empty
And you’ve drunk half a cow

It really would be lovely
If you’d rest your head
Or daddy's sleep deprivation
Will make him drop dead

You’ve been rocked, you’ve been cooed at
For five whole nights through
But your demanding cries keep coming
What more can we do?

So sleep, little baby
Just close your eyes
Whoever said this was easy
Was just telling lies ♪

[The crying stops...for about ten seconds, before it continues]

Okay wow, seriously. Where is your off switch?

Comments

[seventeenth]

I don't mind. I like the Jason movies. I'm just saying, I think there's a reason your kid is freaking out.

[whichwayyoulean]

I'm pretty sure she'd cry either way.

...Who's Jason?

[seventeenth]

A dude in a hockey mask that murders teenagers having sex.

[whichwayyoulean]

I...

What?

Okay. Seriously. Is there something fundamentally wrong with Earth? Because all your movies are about murder.

[seventeenth]

Not all of them.

[whichwayyoulean]

Really? Because I heard of one that was meant for kids and they murdered the little deer's mom.

For. Kids.

[seventeenth]

Well... yeah, but-- okay, to be fair, lots of kids' stories are fucked up.

[whichwayyoulean]

...Because they want to suck all the joy of of kids' lives early?

[seventeenth]

... Well, yeah. Probably.