003

[azuredemonic]

I have lobsters taped to my wrists.

[And now you can hear them, snapping about, clicking...making other lobster sounds. And Vergil is just silent as the grave for the longest time. And when he talks again, it's two parts baffled, two parts concerned, one part unamused and one part disturbed]

Why do I have lobsters taped to my wrists?

[SNAP! Yup, one got his nose. And despite fighting demons, regularly getting thrashed, regenerating from beatings and all other kinds of things, it hurts like a bitch. So there's quiet. And then a breath being sucked in slowly. And then=]

AAARH! GET OFF!

[Tug tug TUUUUUUUG stumble trip crash SNAP]

DAMN YOU, don't you start!

[Scrambling up, pulling, stumbling forward again, and the book gets knocked to the floor and shut in the process]

[ooc: Loss start]

Comments

[kamenriderdeno]

[DON'T RESIST THEM VERGIL IT'LL ONLY MAKE IT HARDER]

Uh...lobsters...?

[azuredemonic]

[DON'T ENCOURAGE THE CLAWS

Okay, it takes a while, and a big tear has to heal first before he can see the response, but EVENTUALLY the book is back on the table]

That is what I said.

[kamenriderdeno]

R-right, sorry...um, I guess...if it's happened suddenly without warning...

[A pause, as he thinks about this.]

Either this is a really bizarre and unusual prank, or...maybe the castle's fault?

[someoneto_carry]

...That's new.

[azuredemonic]

If it is a prank, I will personally tear them apart. And if it is the castle's doing, then I will tear it a-STOP FIGHTING EACH OTHER!

[BRB shaking his arms around wildly to stop them from squabbling]

[azuredemonic]

Oh joy, something unique to contend with.

[someoneto_carry]

You must be special.

[kamenriderdeno]

If they won't come off, then chances are it's definitely the castle's fau-...

[He pauses for a second and goes a little wide eyed at the journal; he wasn't exactly expecting the sudden shouting.]

I...destroying the castle doesn't do any good. It rebuilds itself.

[Totally skipping over the 'tear-them-apart' comment. He doesn't want to have to try and give you a "DON'T HURT PEOPLE" lecture, god knows it'll end badly.]

[azuredemonic]

Good! [Huffs!] Then it'll provide me endless stress relief as I pick it apart meticulously.

[azuredemonic]

My elation knows no bounds.

If you even think of that, I will end your miserable crustacean existence.

[kamenriderdeno]

Oh, but...you might inconvenience someone if you do something like that.

Maybe...i-if you just take a minute and try to calm down first..

[bubbleglub]

W)(AT AR-E YOU DOING?
Is t)(e lobster okay?

[someoneto_carry]

Oh. You're even comin' up with a catchphrase now.

[azuredemonic]

To hell with the lobsters!

[azuredemonic]

[Can you feel him glaring at you through the book? He hopes you can because he's doing it as hard as he can]

dictated;

[heal_theworld]

Vergil?! Are you all right?!

[Pause.] ...What's a lobster?

[bubbleglub]

)(oly mackerel.
Don't be suc)( a w)(iny baby.
YOU AR-E T)(-E ONE SCARING T)(-E POOR LOBST----ER!

[azuredemonic]

Try...to calm...down...

There are lobsters attached to my wrists. Live ones. And they're exceedingly unruly. And you want me to calm down.

dictated;

[azuredemonic]

I am fine!

[seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeethes]

Shellfish. A delicacy. A sea creature.

[azuredemonic]

Then perhaps they should find a better place to rest than on my wrists!.

[bubbleglub]

)(e)(e)(e, maybe t)(ey like you and want to )(old fins like fronds do!
Or else w)(y would t)(ey be t)(ere?

[azuredemonic]

Stop trying to apply such fishy sounding logic to this insipid circumstance before I find myself overcome with the urge to jam these lobsters into a pot of boiling water.

[bubbleglub]

I ALWAYS US-E FIS)( PUNS STUPID MOT)(-ERGLUBB-ER! 38|
W)(ere are you, I'll come over and )(-ELP!

[azuredemonic]

That does not make them any less insipid.

Well I haven't left my room, so if you're going to bother ensure you bring a vat of boiling water with you.

[teds_out]

.... Maybe you should.... try taking them off...

[Unless this is a loss, in which case, yep, you're screwed.]