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vergil

003

I have lobsters taped to my wrists.

[And now you can hear them, snapping about, clicking...making other lobster sounds. And Vergil is just silent as the grave for the longest time. And when he talks again, it's two parts baffled, two parts concerned, one part unamused and one part disturbed]

Why do I have lobsters taped to my wrists?

[SNAP! Yup, one got his nose. And despite fighting demons, regularly getting thrashed, regenerating from beatings and all other kinds of things, it hurts like a bitch. So there's quiet. And then a breath being sucked in slowly. And then=]

AAARH! GET OFF!

[Tug tug TUUUUUUUG stumble trip crash SNAP]

DAMN YOU, don't you start!

[Scrambling up, pulling, stumbling forward again, and the book gets knocked to the floor and shut in the process]

[ooc: Loss start]

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[DON'T RESIST THEM VERGIL IT'LL ONLY MAKE IT HARDER]

Uh...lobsters...?

[DON'T ENCOURAGE THE CLAWS

Okay, it takes a while, and a big tear has to heal first before he can see the response, but EVENTUALLY the book is back on the table]

That is what I said.

R-right, sorry...um, I guess...if it's happened suddenly without warning...

[A pause, as he thinks about this.]

Either this is a really bizarre and unusual prank, or...maybe the castle's fault?

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azuredemonic - 2012-02-01 04:05 (UTC) - Expand

/jda;nj that icon LMAO

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I love it so. Never use it enough

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...That's new.

Oh joy, something unique to contend with.

You must be special.

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W)(AT AR-E YOU DOING?
Is t)(e lobster okay?

To hell with the lobsters!

)(oly mackerel.
Don't be suc)( a w)(iny baby.
YOU AR-E T)(-E ONE SCARING T)(-E POOR LOBST----ER!

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Vergil?! Are you all right?!

[Pause.] ...What's a lobster?

I am fine!

[seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeethes]

Shellfish. A delicacy. A sea creature.

... You have something like that attached to your wrists? Did you try to get them off?

dictated;

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.... Maybe you should.... try taking them off...

[Unless this is a loss, in which case, yep, you're screwed.]

If you are being serious, I shall be far more angry than if you were only attempting a jest.

[oh my god starting to crack up a little over here] Wait, are you saying you weren't pranked? This is really a loss?

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... It seems the castle has un-shellfishly provided you with dinner, maybe. You can eat those, right?

I'm going to devote my life to exterminating these obnoxious fish puns.

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...Did you try pots?

About to.

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...I came across a rather peculiar article on CastleNet that I never thought would have served a purpose until now.

--->[[Article, "How to Hypnotize a Lobster," added to Court Record.]]

...Perhaps it might be relevant to your interests.

Edited 2012-01-31 04:47 (UTC)

[So. Much. Silence.]

Would would it even have something like that to begin with?

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[Sorry, man, there's an Irishman laughing his ass off at you, right now]

Did you say lobsters?!

[Rage. Rage and hate. Hateful rage. RAGING HATE]

No, I said sea mammals. Of course I said lobsters!

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I NOW HAVE A PROPER ICON FOR THIS CONVERSATION!

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Oh see, I knew that was coming I just knew it asfsdg ilu

azuredemonic - 2012-02-01 07:18 (UTC) - Expand

XD I just needed the paid time to fit it in. \o/

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This endeavor was clearly worth it XD

azuredemonic - 2012-02-01 07:23 (UTC) - Expand

Clearly!

shepherdsveritas - 2012-02-01 07:26 (UTC) - Expand

so very clearly

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[ ......

is this real life ]

Seriously?

There is no word capable of expressing the amount I wish it was not.

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