010 is mar a bheidh trí shaol na saol. áiméin

[shepherdsveritas]

[Lucrezia]

[Clove]

[There's a moment's hesitation before he scribbles out each filter, cursing under his breath. Throwing the pen on the desk he sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. What the fuck is he supposed to say? "Hey, so this whole family thing was bullshit, right? Not that I don't think you're a great person but I've got my own family so thanks for the memories"? Oh yeah, he's sure THAT would go over well. Especially with Lucrezia.]

Fuck.

[He lets his head fall to the desk with a resonant THUNK. Not only did they think they were married but they... oh he wouldn't be surprised if she didn't want anything to do with him after this. But he's got to talk to her. Somehow. At least to make sure they agree that the marriage never happened. But like hell does he know how to bring it up. This whole place is just fucking bullshit. Making him think he was married with a kid... and even worse, it made him think Murph wasn't his brother. How could a place be so fucking cruel?

Stuffing the journal in his pocket he walks out to the church proper. There may not be a priest, but that doesn't mean he couldn't confess. He dips his fingers into the holy water and crosses himself as he kneels before the cross.]

Bless me, Lord, fer I have sinned. [pause] Sort of. [He sighs, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head] It's hard t'know fer certain in a place like this. Every day Murph an' I live by Yer word an' help others keep their faith best we can. But I keep findin' meself tested. First when I had th'Serpent've Eden sharin' my body fer a day, now this. Fer th'past week I thought I was married an' had a child. I did as well as I could with th'girl but she was a right stubborn child. She carried on an' even stabbed me th'once. I know some 'bout where she really comes from, so I'm tryin' t'find it in my heart t'fergive her an' try to help her if I can.

[He takes a longer pause, running the beads of his rosary through his fingers]

Th'woman I thought I was married, to. She's a right fine Catholic woman, a descendant of th'Pope, even. We both thought we were married at th'time but... [he sighs] It still don't feel right. I ask yer fergiveness.

[As his fingers reach the cross he opens his eyes, looking at it]

Th'worse've all've it was that fer that week I fergot that my brother, Murph, an' I had th'same blood runnin' through our veins. Of all th'things this place could take from me it took th'most cherished memories I have. My brother's always been th'most important thing in my life, since we were born. And t'suddenly have that gone from me. [He closes his fingers around the cross] I know it wasn't us who did it but it feels like I've got a lot've penance to do t'make up fer it.

[He raises his eyes to the cross and the figure nailed upon it]

Bein' here feels like a test've faith. Obstacles bein' sent my way t'make me question Your plan an' whether're not You're even here. So far I've resisted temptations an' fought through each trial t'come right back here. An' I'm jus' gonna keep right on fightin'. 'Cause no matter what shite this place throws at us I know that somehow it's part've Your plan fer us an' I'm not goin' t'question that.

[He closes his eyes, kissing the cross and bowing his head once again]

Thanks fer everythin' you've provided fer us. Keepin' Murph an' I together, th'roof over our heads, bringin' Da an' Rocco back to us, keepin' us all safe. Please continue t'watch over us as we do Yer work. [crossing himself] In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. áiméin

[Feeling like some of the weight has been lifted off his heart, Connor stands, pulling the journal out of his pocket]

I need a drink. Anyone who wants t'join me can meet me at Caritas. First round's on me.

((OOC:  (backdated to the day after the plot) Open over the journal or at Caritas. DRUNKEN SHENANIGANS AND BAR FIGHTS ENCOURAGED!!))

Comments

[heloise]

[ She would never trade her real family for another, but her real husband is another matter entirely. And Connor was sweeter than any she can imagine. The guilt hardly occurs to her. ]

Was it so terrible for you?

[shepherdsveritas]

[Well shit. He rakes a hand through his hair and plops down in a pew]

No. Not at all. In fact of all th'people this place could've set me up with I'm glad it was you.

It's jus'... [he sighs] It don't sit right with me th'fact that this place can make y'think yer married jus' like that.

[heloise]

There are worst ways... [ to be married, she means. ]

Would you feel better if I said I forgive you?

[shepherdsveritas]

S'pose there are.

[He takes a breath, thinking. He was still working on forgiving himself for everything and sorting out his own feelings on the whole matter. But the fact that she forgave him did mean a great deal. Even if he still had his own inner demons to work through it meant one fewer person he felt he'd wronged at all.

He smiles slightly]

That does help, aye. Thank you, Lucrezia.

[heloise]

And Clove was sweet, when she has no knife in her hand.

[ Trying to make light of the conversation. ]

[shepherdsveritas]

[he scoffs, laughing]

She stabbed me with a fuckin' fork.

[heloise]

When she is without any distantly sharp objects then.

[shepherdsveritas]

Aye. 'f course I know what kinda world she comes from so I can't say I can blame 'er too much.

[heloise]

What kind of world would explain her behavior?

[shepherdsveritas]

One that forces children t'fight to th'death once a year.

[heloise]

A fight to the death, like ancient gladiators? But why?

[shepherdsveritas]

Dunno. Somethin' 'bout a war I think. I heard 'bout it from Murph. He's friends with another kid from that world. [He sighs] But no matter what th'reason is it's fucked up and there's no excuse.

[spiritusaequitas]

[where there is one MacManus and beer, there shalt be another. it's the lost 11th Commandment.

especially after a week where they didn't think they were related. Murph slips out of the back room of the church, having made his own private penance with their Lord. tucking his rosary back into his t-shirt, he pulls his lighter out of his pocket and tosses it in Connor's direction, already fishing for his cigarettes before his brother can even catch.

he wouldn't dare light up in the church proper, but the moment they're outside, he intends to ingest some serious nicotine on their way to the pub/bar/wherever]

[shepherdsveritas]

[It goes without sayin'.

Connor smoothly catches the lighter, following his brother outside. Once Murph's dug out his cigarettes he snatches the pack, pulling one out before tossing it back to him with a smirk. He lights his purloined cigarette and holds the lighter out to Murph]

[spiritusaequitas]

Oi! ... Wait yer fuckin' turn.

[he's grinning as he takes out a cigarette and reclaims his lighter, though. honestly, he knows how much each of them forgetting the other eats at them - the sooner they can get back to their usual selves, the quicker it'll all heal. the less said, the better.]

[shepherdsveritas]

Fuck off, that's th'pack y'stole from me last week, innit?

[He points at his brother, smirking. Falling back into their usual pattern felt good - it felt natural. More natural than anything else at this fucking place.]

[spiritusaequitas]

Aye, which means it's my Goddamn turn. Pssht. [he makes a face at him, swatting his hand away] Ain't polite to point. The fuck would Ma say?

[shepherdsveritas]

[... his laughter fades into a cough and he turns away]

Dunno, do I... [Way to remind him about his loss, man. Best bro ever]

[spiritusaequitas]

Aw, fuck. [his face falls, instantly, and he winces - even though he can remember their mother, he feels the sudden stab to the heart as surely as Connor must have]

M'sorry. ... Wasn't thinkin'. I'm a fuckin' idiot.

[shepherdsveritas]

[He sighs, shrugging and looking over at his brother. He knows that Murph didn't mean to but it still hurt] isn't like it's somethin' either've us're used to.

[spiritusaequitas]

Don't make it any better, though. [he sighs, frustrated - both with the situation, and with himself] F'we didn' need t' get drunk before, we sure as fuck do now.

[shepherdsveritas]

Like we've ever needed a reason, aye? [Connor reaches out and pulls his brother in for a one armed hug as they walk]

Why're we gettin' all depressed 'bout this. We're not 'bout t'let this fuckin' castle beat us down that much, are we?

[journal atm]

[sixguns]

It wasn't yer intent. Ye weren't yerself. I think He would forgive ye this.

[aye]

[shepherdsveritas]

[He lets out a breath and smiles slightly.]

Thank ye, Da.