paradisa | 010 is mar a bheidh trí shaol na saol. áiméin

[~~Lucrezia~~]

[~~Clove~~]

[There's a moment's hesitation before he scribbles out each filter, cursing under his breath. Throwing the pen on the desk he sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. What the fuck is he supposed to say? "Hey, so this whole family thing was bullshit, right? Not that I don't think you're a great person but I've got my own family so thanks for the memories"? Oh yeah, he's sure THAT would go over well. Especially with Lucrezia.]

Fuck.

[He lets his head fall to the desk with a resonant THUNK. Not only did they think they were married but they... oh he wouldn't be surprised if she didn't want anything to do with him after this. But he's got to talk to her. Somehow. At least to make sure they agree that the marriage never happened. But like hell does he know how to bring it up. This whole place is just fucking bullshit. Making him think he was married with a kid... and even worse, it made him think Murph wasn't his brother. How could a place be so fucking cruel?

Stuffing the journal in his pocket he walks out to the church proper. There may not be a priest, but that doesn't mean he couldn't confess. He dips his fingers into the holy water and crosses himself as he kneels before the cross.]

Bless me, Lord, fer I have sinned. [pause] Sort of. [He sighs, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head] It's hard t'know fer certain in a place like this. Every day Murph an' I live by Yer word an' help others keep their faith best we can. But I keep findin' meself tested. First when I had th'Serpent've Eden sharin' my body fer a day, now this. Fer th'past week I thought I was married an' had a child. I did as well as I could with th'girl but she was a right stubborn child. She carried on an' even stabbed me th'once. I know some 'bout where she really comes from, so I'm tryin' t'find it in my heart t'fergive her an' try to help her if I can.

[He takes a longer pause, running the beads of his rosary through his fingers]

Th'woman I thought I was married, to. She's a right fine Catholic woman, a descendant of th'Pope, even. We both thought we were married at th'time but... [he sighs] It still don't feel right. I ask yer fergiveness.

[As his fingers reach the cross he opens his eyes, looking at it]

Th'worse've all've it was that fer that week I fergot that my brother, Murph, an' I had th'same blood runnin' through our veins. Of all th'things this place could take from me it took th'most cherished memories I have. My brother's always been th'most important thing in my life, since we were born. And t'suddenly have that gone from me. [He closes his fingers around the cross] I know it wasn't us who did it but it feels like I've got a lot've penance to do t'make up fer it.

[He raises his eyes to the cross and the figure nailed upon it]

Bein' here feels like a test've faith. Obstacles bein' sent my way t'make me question Your plan an' whether're not You're even here. So far I've resisted temptations an' fought through each trial t'come right back here. An' I'm jus' gonna keep right on fightin'. 'Cause no matter what shite this place throws at us I know that somehow it's part've Your plan fer us an' I'm not goin' t'question that.

[He closes his eyes, kissing the cross and bowing his head once again]

Thanks fer everythin' you've provided fer us. Keepin' Murph an' I together, th'roof over our heads, bringin' Da an' Rocco back to us, keepin' us all safe. Please continue t'watch over us as we do Yer work. [crossing himself] In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. áiméin

[Feeling like some of the weight has been lifted off his heart, Connor stands, pulling the journal out of his pocket]

I need a drink. Anyone who wants t'join me can meet me at Caritas. First round's on me.

((OOC: (backdated to the day after the plot) Open over the journal or at Caritas. DRUNKEN SHENANIGANS AND BAR FIGHTS ENCOURAGED!!))

010 is mar a bheidh trí shaol na saol. áiméin

no subject