Forty First Sip

[mal_addict]

[Filtered to Helen, Henry and Tesla]

So. A really funny thing happened today. Do you want to know what the really funny thing is?

James got turned into a small child.

Given the fact I lost the baby the castle gave me under a pile of clothes for about an hour, I really don't think I'm the best qualified person to handle this. Not unless you want me to raise him on a steady diet of coffee and dried beef products.

Comments

[vampirize]

...

What.

[HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THIS.]

[mal_addict]

James is a small child.

He's calling himself 'Jimmy'.

[vampirize]

I thought it would never happen, but somehow you just used "James" and "small child" in the same sentence.

...

Let me guess, you want one of us to take him off your hands.

[mal_addict]

He's starting to creep me out a little bit.

[Flatly] Do you remember the baby, Nikola? Do you. Because I remember the baby. Do you want the same to happen to James?

[technohap]

Dude. Coffee and kids is not cool. Where is he now?

[mal_addict]

No, really? I never knew that.

He's with me, saying he's hungry. [Quick Henry what do you feed children]

[longaevus]

[ She's going to work on the 'James was turned into a child' part later. Priorities ]

Are you in your room?

[mal_addict]

Yeah. [Hey, Helen, you have more maternal abilities than Mal, come help]

He wants food.

[longaevus]

[ Helen was certain that there was a difference between any mothering that she usually did to James and this. And now that was just slightly ironic (and a little strange) ]

I'll get something first.

How is he?

[mal_addict]

He's okay. He keeps touching my stuff and he won't shut up, but he's okay.

I haven't lost him or set fire to him or anything.

Yet.

[longaevus]

You'll be fine. [ Although if she did lose him that would be James wandering off rather than Mal ]

I'll be there shortly.

[mal_addict]

I really won't, Helen. I'm bad with small children. Really bad.

Thank the Gods.

[longaevus]

Two minutes, Mal, you'll be fine.

[mal_addict]

A lot can happen in two minutes.

[longaevus]

Focus on James, keep him in your sight until I get there. You can do this.

[mal_addict]

I'm keeping him in a chair in the middle of my room, trust me, I'm not taking my eyes off him.

[longaevus]

I'd talk to him also, or he may not wish to stay.

[mal_addict]

What do I talk to him about?

[longaevus]

He may be young but he is still James. I'm certain that you can find something to interest him with.

[mal_addict]

He tried to mess with my coffee machine. [She might was well have said 'he tried to play with an atom bomb' by her tone]

[longaevus]

[ Don't mind her if she's a little amused - British and James was a detective, or would become one ] As I said he is still James.

I'm almost there.

[mal_addict]

Fine, I'll give him the Zubat, then.

Good. [Gods please hurry D:]

[longaevus]

[ She's not saying anything but that would be a good choice - she finds it interesting enough so James, and child James, no doubt should.

And two minutes later there's a knock on Mal's door ]

[mal_addict]

[Maladict opens the door, looking at Helen as if she'd just brought the entire coffee industry of Brazil with her,/i>]

Oh good you're here.

[Pulling you in, SAVE HER D:]

[unnaturalpause]

[What are you complaining about? He's just petting Scallot Mal honestly and sitting in your chair. Though he does look over at the door knocking.]

[longaevus]

[ Ah, but where the word 'honestly' comes there's usually more with it. And Mal, don't make her think that you're actually afraid of James with that action ]

Really, Mal? What honestly could have happened in two minutes?

[ She may just stay longer just because now ]

[mal_addict]

Any number of horrible things. He could have fallen out of the window, or been savaged by wild eagles.

[Yes, she's being serious, and gestures over to James] So, there he is. Your kid for whenever. Enjoy him.

[unnaturalpause]

[...] Hey lady, where do you get eagles?

[And he's now looking up from the Zubat. Good job Mal, you've just put an idea into his head! And he's ignoring Helen for the moment really, eagles are cooler.]

[longaevus]

You say that as if there's an eagle in your room.

[ She gives Mal a small shake of her head, looking to James at his question ]

That would depend which species you were interested in, although I do not believe that there are any here.

[mal_addict]

There are no eagles. It was a metaphorical eagle.

Look, can you just take him somewhere?

[unnaturalpause]

Awww. [And that's James's voice of displeasure at the teasing about eagles. Really Mal get his hopes up like that :/

But he does slide off the chair, Scallot still in hand, and heads for that coffeemaker again. The adults are talking after all why not?]

[longaevus]

I can. [ Although given that James was a little older it made Helen curious about why Mal wanted him gone so quickly ]

James? [ She calls to him, just stopping him shy of the coffeemaker ] Would you like something to eat?

[unnaturalpause]

[Damn it Helen! And that James part gets a look from him, almost a glare. All thoughts of food gone at "James". And he huffs.]

It's Jimmy, lady. Honestly.

[mal_addict]

[No children ever, not eveerrr. Even the slightly bigger ones]

Yeah there you go. Go eat food with Helen. Away from all my things.

[longaevus]

And that didn't answer my question. [ She gave a pointed look to James ] But if you're not hungry. [ And she turns to the door. Don't worry, Mal, she's done this before ]

[unnaturalpause]

And you called me by a name I don't like. [But he is going to go over to Mal and hand her Scallot, well, may as well get food right?

Right?]

You'll give me whatever?

[mal_addict]

[She'll take the pokemon and nod]

I'm sure Helen will give you whatever food you want.

[longaevus]

Something that I wasn't aware of. [ Had anyone told her before? No. Calm yourself, James ]

Within reason, yes.

[unnaturalpause]

[How was he supposed to know that? Honestly Helen you're an adult don't you know these things?

But he nods at Mal and then shuffles over to Helen.]

So what's, you know, in reason?

[mal_addict]

[Mal will be opening her door now, in a not very subtle attempt to get them to LEAVE quicker]

[longaevus]

We'll see. [ That would depend on what he requested.

And she gave a nod to the door, taking the hint ] Come on.

[unnaturalpause]

Okay then. [And he does smile at that.

But before he takes the hint he goes over to Mal and gives what he can reach over a quick hug. IS IT TROLLING OR IS IT HEARTFELT?

Who knows.]

Thanks.

[And he quickly shuffles back to Helen, grinning, heading out the door.]

[mal_addict]

[Ew, hugs. Horrible, horrible hugs.

She gives them an idle wave as they leave]

Good luck. You'll probably both need it.