So you want to be a Deathmatch Employee?

[crownless_king]

[Good afternoon Paradisians. Are you enjoying your quiet Sunday afternoon? Yes? Well too bad. Because the journal opens up and there is the sound of a boombox being turned on to turn on this this little unknown medley at extremely high volumes to get your attention. But don’t worry, after the opening part it will be turned down so the players of this can give the announcement they need]

In the beginning...there was fuck all! Then came a brave soul, who opened a wondrous place of drinking goodness and brawls. And somewhere along the lines, it was abandoned. Well, it’s back, baby! And as I’m presently waxing crimson all over it, that means it’s time to recruit some of you suckers!

[Wait. Looks back]

I don’t actually want to call them suckers, do I?

Proooobably not...think of something nicer.

Something nicer...[Snaps his fingers] Got it! [And properly addressing the book again] It’s time to recruit some of you silly goats!

[Reno sighs] ...How about just stick with “people”?

Cause don’t we have ponies and dragons and I’m pretty sure I seem to recall at least one demon and one angel.

[He’d like to think hell no to hiring dragons but he won’t say it out loud...] Whatever. Just get on with it.

Yes dear. [Cough] Okay, so here’s the scoop. The Deathmatch is on the way back up, but it’s missing the most important element. People to work it. So today, accompanied by this epic soundtrack, we need you to sign up to tend the bar, work the door as a bouncer, and tend to the grizzly bear champion we have for professional fighters.

Travis we don’t have a grizzly bear.

We don’t? Well do we at least have a regular bear? [a silence as Reno shakes his head] Well, okay. We ALSO need a bear to be our fighting ring champion for challengers to face. So if you know of any, bring them along. I can’t believe we don’t have a bear. [Grumble grumble]

Some other things. You got to be of age if you’re gonna tend the bar. I’m not having any kids serving up drinks. That’ll just look bad on Reno’s part.

Don’t look at me, my world doesn’t have a drinking age. But..yeah! Anyway! C’mon down and apply! We promise to pay in booze and caisos!

And we’ve got TONS of booze. Look, chances are, we’ll hire you. We’ve got shit for standards, and we want this place rolling back at the top of the ladder again. So either hit up myself, the awesome Travis Touchdown, or my lovely cohort Reno. Then, we’ll see what you got, get you set, and put you on the path to a healthy career in either serving up drinks, or knocking teeth down throats.

[Leans in to the journal and whispers hastily]

And seriously, bring a fucking bear.

[OOC: Red is Reno, Darkish orange color sorta...kinda is Travis. Come apply to the Deathmatch!]

Comments

Dictated

[ontheclockpro]

C'mon Travis, do we have to have a bear?

Dictated

[crownless_king]

Hell yes we need a bear. Look, whatever the fuck happened, the DM has fallen way out of the loop. A bear will totally fix that.

Dictated

[ontheclockpro]

Or tear up this place even more....

Dictated

[crownless_king]

Which is why we get someone to keep it in check.

[Dictated]

[nothingtobelieve]

[Why is he considering this? Other than the fact that even he realizes he can't spend all his time in his room, and that money would be a good thing to have? Well, despite the obnoxiousness of the advertisement, he can't help but enquirer. It's not as if it sounds like hard work...]

What would the hours be?

[Because that's clearly the most pertinent question.]

[Dictated]

[crownless_king]

Hm. Hours have always been up in the air. Generally you work when you can work. Once we get a better idea of who we'll have, we can fit names to hours far better.

[Dictated]

[nothingtobelieve]

I may be able to help. But I don't tend bar.

[There's a certain level of dignity he would like to maintain, after all.]

[bustered]

A bar, heh? [But from what Zack knows of Reno, this is somehow not a surprise.] So who's your cleanup crew?

[crownless_king]

You know, it's funny as fuck you asked that. [Cause they're still cleaning up the left overs right now]

Honestly, it's me and Reno. We got maybe one potential hire on the docket, but otherwise, no one and no thing yet. Interested?

[bustered]

Anything to make Reno owe me one. I'll see if I can't round up another pair of hands or two.

[ninjainviolet]

What are you looking for in a bouncer?

[And she's not bringing a bear, Travis... Sorry.]

[crownless_king]

An ass kicker. Someone who can easily drop another person if they get too rowdy or drunk, or give on of our more fighting oriented patrons a good bang for their buck.

[His tears fall endlessly at the lack of bears you people offer]

[ninjainviolet]

I think I can do that. I've been trained to fight with my hands and feet, after all.

[But she's got ten summons; she has no room for a bear.]

[forgedinbattle]

[But she's already had careers in serving drinks and knocking teeth down throats.]

You fellas sure know how to advertise.

[crownless_king]

[Well then you have a very healthy career available in being a member of the DM family]

It's like I've always said. Go big, or go online to find out how to go big.

[forgedinbattle]

[Long pause] You know what? I'll figure out what "go online" means later.

Point is, I've got plenty of experience with serving drinks and knocking heads- occasionally at the same time- and I've recently realized wishing may be an even worse idea than I thought it was.

[assassino]

[Surprised]

Oh, you are the owner of that place? I'd wondered why it looked better recently.

[crownless_king]

[Cocked eyebrow is go]

Sure am. And yeah, that isn't because it suddenly knew better. I got some special thank yous waiting for the fucks responsible for trashing my baby in the first place.

[assassino]

[Amused]

And what kind of "thank you" is this? Not the thrashing kind, I hope?

Travis;

[gottaknockhard]

[Spike wasn't going to speak up when he heard this, or at the most make some smartass comment about bear fighting, but then he sees Vicious deciding to pick up a part time gig and all the humor gets sucked out of him. What the hell is the world coming to??]

Haven't improved your screening process, have you? [He hired Spike once upon a time, after all.]

Spike

[crownless_king]

[Travis snorts, shrugging it off]

Not really at liberty of picking and choosing. The bar needs a staff right now, you know.

Travis

[gottaknockhard]

[You try and warn a guy...]

I picked up on that.

[shepherdsveritas]

I don't have a real bear but I've got one've them pokemon looks like one.

[crownless_king]

So some of them are still around, huh? Good shit. I guess he could pass for a bear. I'd have to check him out myself.

[shepherdsveritas]

Still 'round? Dunno 'bout that. We went t'this world with all them pokemon things an' we all got one. Mine jus' came back with me.