103.5 - can you hear me? can you hear me now?

[hard_talker]

[it's ten PM, and Mark's resident neighbors with sensitive ears are gone! which means you all get treated to Leonard Cohen's gravelly ode to cynicism at FULL VOLUME this week! it goes on for ... well ... the whole tune, actually. all six minutes of it. and for a little while before it, and during, and a little while after, those of you in your rooms might hear the elevator dinging at the end of your hall.

by the time the music stops, and the needle comes off the vinyl with a little rustle, there's a smell slowly starting to permeate the residency areas. not just the castle proper, but all of the towers, too ...]

Goooooooooooood evening, Paradisa. Hey, any of you mind if I start sending the clinic staff around to do routine check-ups? Because I set something on FIRE last week, and all of two people bothered to say something about it. I think that's a new record, and those of you who ain't on the expedition? Well, I'm startin' to wonder if you might be DEAD. Let that be a warning to ye new bloods, James Hook, Chell, Rosalie, Merlin, and Penny... use your brain or lose your brain! We've had people droppin' like flies, this week ...

[speaking of flies, if you hadn't noticed that smell before, you should really be noticing it by now: it's strong, and it's RANK, and ... well, if any of you dare to investigate, it's even stronger in the hallway.

because there's a flaming paper bag sitting in one of two places: just outside the elevator, if you're in the castle proper, or right by the stairwell, if you're in a tower. someone's been busy]

Oh, and uh, tonight's broadcast is brought to you by the Fairyland Animal Shelter, who were kind enough to provide this week's DOOR PRIZES for all of you sheep out there in Castle Wonderfuck. I figured, since you all couldn't be bothered to give a shit, Hard Harry'd step up to the bar and give one FOR you.

[and with that? ON GOES THE MUSIC. happy Monday, residents.]

Comments

Jane, to end

[hard_talker]

It's Brock and C, they're usually pretty chill about it, and we had sort of the start of one, a while ago. But that was back when there were two TARDISes, and we could evacuate people to the other one, so ... now there's gotta be a different plan.

Mark/Harry to end

[cyan_maid]

The TARDIS is that odd blue box of the Doctor's, isn't it? How were there two of them?

[hard_talker]

Yeah, that's the one. There were two because there were two Doctors from two points in time. Has he told you about the whole regenerating thing yet?

[cyan_maid]

He...might have? He did tell me he was an alien.

[hard_talker]

Yeeeeah, he doesn't really die when he gets sick or hurt, so much as he just ...changes. Kind of like a starfish.

[cyan_maid]

I can't say I've studied the anatomy of a starfish in detail in my Biology class, but I'll have take your word for it.