[Two - Right Through The Eye] [Dictated/Action]

[the_effect_she_has]

[Guess who has found her way to the roof? Perfect place for brooding, as long as you get the right time slot. Luckily, it seems she has, because she has had it all to herself for the last hour as she finishes reading the last few pages of the journal from before.

Six months worth.

They told her - the veterans, the possible enemies, the hopeful friends. Read. Read back and see what you can glean. So Katniss had done just that, spending her days in silence as she read back to when they all received these new journals. Past the world changes, past the battles, past the terrors and tears. She read about all these strangers that were no longer here, and all the new faces that she saw almost every day. She read about Peeta, and Gale, Rue and Cinna. She read about Johanna, and felt her chest clench a little as she wondered if she was still here.

She read about Finnick, about Haymitch, and about Prim, and she felt her chest even more.

Then she read about herself.

It seemed odd, like she was looking at herself from the outside in. She saw so many choices reflected in her - ones that she would have made again, and others ... well. With time sometimes comes wisdom. If she had known then what she knew now -- but you couldn't go back. You could only go forward.

So here she was. So she would go forward, because to do anything else was to let herself go mad again.

She opened the journal to the first blank page, and started to write.]



I've been reading ... about our lives here. All since the new journals. And I - I need to tell you ...I'm further. Further even, than Finnick. Do you want to know? And if you do want to know, do you promise to keep it from Rue?




We should talk, you and I. [Yes, Peeta, she is seeking you out.]




[Here, her tone is lighter, but more serious.]

So. Wednesday is still good for you?




Hello there, Little Bird. I know you're off traveling. Save some good stories for me, all right? I miss you.

[She has a feeling that Rue needs to hear that, even more than she needed to say it.]




I. I just. [Why was this so hard? Why did it feel like choking whenever she was thanking someone for helping her? Why did it always hurt more than it felt good to know that people cared, had cared, still cared about her? That they had given so much time to her -- even when she couldn't remember them, she could feel all the same ... helpless gratitude.]

[Finally, she said roughly.] Thank you. For everything.


[And now ... now she speaks freely. Letting her words dot along the page, like animal prints.]

This place is poison. It always has been, and it always will be.

[She's quiet for a moment, pushing dark hair away from her narrowed eyes, before she speaks again.]

But sooner or later, you build up a tolerance, for poison. For every dark, evil thing. I know. I have. I let it dull me into compliance, because all I wanted was to survive. Then I woke up. And I'm awake now. I've been awake, for awhile now.

[She pauses, stalled, because words ... words were not as easy as tracking. As hitting a clean shot through a bird's heart. Still, she makes her words continue.]

I am not going to survive here. I am going to live. And the first step to that? Know my enemy. So I'm going to walk this castle. I am going to walk that town, that forest. Then I am going to walk that Dead Zone. Because every step, every new fact, is one more step to being alive, and not just breathing to breath.

[Okay. Just a few more words. Just a few more.]

And I'm starting, right now. You want to come, find me on the roof.

Comments

Katniss (Placeholder ;__;)

[fly_little_bird]

I miss you, too, Katniss. [She smiles at the journal. It's such a different feeling, knowing there's someone out there thinking about you and missing you. Katniss, she missed yooouuu!]

There's lots of great stuff out here. I have so much to tell you!

Re: Katniss (Placeholder ;__;)

[the_effect_she_has]

You remember as many things as you can, because I want to hear them all.

Katniss

[persequor]

You're welcome?

Re: Katniss

[the_effect_she_has]

You're ... Arya, right? Arya Stark.

[She goes back a few chapters, then nods.]

We knew each other at camp. You were lost in the mirror world.

[squartatore]

[oh. This voice]

Quite a lot of walking, celebrity-who-isn't. And yeah, having someone to look out for you will be important.

[the_effect_she_has]

[One corner of her lip curved up.]

I've got good boots on. How about you?

Katniss

[prettyknives]

Did you read what they did the moment I showed up? [ie lied about you leaving]

Re: Katniss

[the_effect_she_has]

I did.

Were they wrong?

Katniss

[not_like_the_rest]

So, you're back? [Not that she would ever say she missed your whinny ass. You seem different though. Huh. Doesn't mean she's going to like you. She's not answering your question yet. She wants to hear more about your little changes first.]

Re: Katniss

[the_effect_she_has]

[She exhaled, slowly. Well there you are.]

I'm back. How about you? The forest?

Old Friends Filter

[ino]

Shouldn't I be thanking you? [said lightly. after all, katniss had given her lessons in using a bow! it seemed appropriate to thank her, now that she was openly acknowledging that there were people here that knew her, but that she didn't remember]

Re: Old Friends Filter

[the_effect_she_has]

[She feels her lips curve into a quiet, almost sad smile.]

Maybe a little of both? [There is a definite pause, before she adds, with more bravery than she thought she had, to the one who was kissing Gale now.] Thanks. For taking care of him.

[foolreversed]

[oh... dang. Listening to that unfiltered part]

Wow... I don't think anyone could have said it better if they tried.

[the_effect_she_has]

[She felt her cheeks stain faint pink.]

...Thank you.

[akito]

I'll go.

[the_effect_she_has]

Meet me upstairs.

Katniss

[wizard_redfive]

[Dairine had hoped Katniss would read up on her past time here. It was the main reason why she had left a message in the first place.

She smiles a little at the filter. This Katniss might be different from the one Dairine remembers in some ways, but she still has that same social awkwardness.]

No problem. My room's still open, by the way, if you need it.

Dairine forever

[the_effect_she_has]

Thanks.

[A pause, and then an even more awkward..] Thank you. For ... for watching over Peeta.

[noblefive]

You're back, huh?

[the_effect_she_has]

Yes.

I am.

Katniss

[amiable]

Huh... Katniss? What's this about?

Re: Katniss

[the_effect_she_has]

Just ... letting you know.

dictated

[prayed]

Ya can count me in.

Re: dictated

[the_effect_she_has]

Good.

[hard_talker]

Poison, huh? Nice to see someone else who's speakin' my language. Have you found Lois Lane's notes on everything, yet?

[the_effect_she_has]

[One corner of her mouth lifted up.]

I have it book-marked.

Katniss

[fanstheflame]

[now, that was one of the last things he was expecting... and it almost doesn't seem real, out here, so far from everything else, where everything is unfamiliar, save some of the faces. but he can't help but smile, anyway, even though there's wonder in his voice]

Yeah ... yeah, Wednesday's fine. ... You doing okay?

Gale

[the_effect_she_has]

[She inhales slowly, pressing her lips together briefly.]

I'm all right. [Fine was not a word she tossed around lightly, these days.]

Katniss; I'm sorry this is so late ;_;

[peeta_bread]

Yeah... yeah, of course. You want to talk in person?

Peeta; no worries I knew there were things!

[the_effect_she_has]

I do. [She stands up, brushing off her pants.] But I'll come to you.