5th sweater: a ninja panda

[bezazzled]

[Lady Filter, no boys allowed!]

Let's talk break-ups.

Suppose you're dating someone with super powers or magic or something. How do you break up with them as gently as possible so they don't totally freak out and destroy everything around them? Break ups are really delicate things, you know? Magic and stuff just makes it super hard.

I don't know why I'm doubting myself. I mean, I did it before so I should do it again, right? I know what he's capable of, and that's not something I want to happen again. But he technically hasn't even done it yet from his point in the timeline. Maybe he's from an alternate timeline where he's totally rational about things!

No, no matter what he still deserves the honest truth. Maybe I could bring back up. Do we have any kind of super man or lady out there that can just sit in the back of the restaurant as extra insurance?

Thanks, ladies. I feel like we really figured this out together.

Comments

PLACEHOLDER .......

[ino]

So what you're saying is, you think this guy will try to hurt you if you break up with him?

[bezazzled]

Oh no. I don't think he'd hurt me. Well, intentionally I guess. I mean he was a jerk to my brother.

I'm worried he'll freak out and hurt other people.

[ino]

Wow, he sounds like a real winner ...

Well, what kind of powers does he have? How hard do you think it'd be to hold him off if he caused trouble?

[heloise]

[ Declare the man impotent or kill him. ]

How about a letter?

[bezazzled]

[WOW LUCY NO. She's a lover, not a fighter!]

That seems like cheating. I already tried to have my brother do it once before, and I think it'd only make him even more upset, which is kind of the opposite of what I want to happen.

[heloise]

[ No no no you make the dudes do the dirty work. ]

Could your brother not speak on your behalf, then?

[losttrack]

Boys suck, and this one sounds like a creep.

I can be your back-up.

[bezazzled]

Whoa, really? Are you a super hero or something?

[losttrack]

Nah, but I used to have mad vampire powers.

I'm still pretty awesome, I think.

[easily]

You should not be with a man who makes you feel threatened. If I were with such a man, my brothers would destroy them.

Not that they are here, but still.

[bezazzled]

To be fair, he never really said he would ever hurt me. He just said it wasn't the last we'd see of little ol' him, but he said it in a really creepy voice, and after he pushed my brother out a window.

But hurting Dipper is enough of a turn-off.

[easily]

I would never stay with anyone who dared to hurt my family.

[courageous_wit]

Breaking up is always difficult, but it's only right for you to be honest with him about your feelings. Trust me, I indulged a boy for all the wrong reasons and it didn't go very well.

Since it seems this boy is dangerous, you should choose a safe place for the breakup. I wouldn't take anyone with you; he would feel like he was ganged up on and possibly lash out. But you could have back-up in a hidden place to watch, in case he does grow violent.

[bezazzled]

That's more along the lines of what I was thinking. Someone else told me I should just stay with him, but that doesn't seem fair to me or him!

What happened that made it go not very well?

[courageous_wit]

You're right, it isn't fair to either of you. Staying with him would just make you unhappy, which would turn the relationship more toxic.

He was a bit of a pig, to be honest. He liked to think he was better at sports than anyone else, and knocked one of my best friends unconscious.

[delincuente]

Pretend that you're super gross so he'll want to break up with you himself. I mean, like, go all out. Matted hair, garlic breath. The works.

[Never mind that this didn't work for her, it's still a quality solution. She thinks.]

[bezazzled]

I never thought of that! But knowing him, he'd just say he'll love me no matter what.

[doublethefun]

[there's a snort]

What manner of power art thou speaking of?

[bezazzled]

It's like this blue glowy magic stuff that's really easy to control.

[Clearly, Mabel is the most helpful.]

Dictated

[cyan_maid]

Holy moley! Mabel, you're dating someone?

[GUUUURL THIS BIG NEWS OVER HERE]

[bezazzled]

No! I mean, he thinks we're dating, but we're technically not? Except I never really said no, even if I didn't exactly say yes? It's complicated.

[flightof]

Powers or no powers, you should not be afraid of what a man will do in these situations. Unless he is your betrothed, you should continue down a path that will be in your best interests.

[...hmmm. It doesn't sound like she's too old and it isn't in Gwendolyn's usual interests to do this but...]

Should you need assistance or the aid of an adult I have experience battling spell casters.

[bezazzled]

Oh awesome! I mean, he technically hasn't done anything wrong yet, so I'm hoping to keep this as battle-free as possible. But having you there will make it a little easier, you know?

Dat filter forever

[kungfuwitch]

[Well THERE'S something she has experience with.]

You're right. All you can do is be honest with him. Are you really worried he'll do something?

[bezazzled]

Well, he does have a bit of a temper on him. I'm hoping to break it to him gently so that he doesn't do anything.