paradisa | dated to the night before the plot starts, at midnight!

[Before Uru left, Rin had suggested a cake date for the two of them. A midnight cake date! Something a little silly but fun for it. It's a magical castle of tremendous beauty, after all. In that kind of place a midnight cake-eating party is something that could easily happen.

Uru's gone now and the cake never happened. One half of the party is still here, though. You could guess that Rin stewed for a while and then thought "fuck it" and threw cares otherwise to the wind.

As such, at midnight she's in the dining room, dressed in a fancy traditional kimono and eating her way fastidiously through a very fancy slice of cake. She has to be extra-careful not trail her long sleeves through the frosting, but she's doing a good job of it. Rin has even gone to the trouble of lighting some candles to arrange a small centerpiece. The journal is open at her elbow. Between neat bites she dictates into it.]

Before my friend left, we had this idea of eating cake at midnight. The idea was, we'd make a party of it, you know? [Bite.]

Well, it seems like a shame to scrap an idea just because she's gone now. I don't think she'd care for that kind of attitude. She'd probably have something encouraging to say about it being worthwhile to do something else.

Anyway. My point is, I'm having cake in the dining room. It's midnight now. If you want some, come and get it.

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Which did you get, Rin?

I took the vacation, which is fine by me. [A shrug, and a dry smile.] My personal luck has been okay lately in all honesty.

Except for the part where you have lost your friends.

Well... I consider that a little separate from this. Or, like, the castle trying to make up for it, maybe?

[ She nods. ] I wonder if Uru would be happy to know this is what we did in her memory. Instead of, laughing and merriment.

Probably not, but I don't know. If it wouldn't be genuine, would it really be better?

No, but one can choose to be happy.

That sounds potentially unhealthy.

What do you when you cannot go on?

[ Lucrezia leans back on her chair and relishes the silence for a moment. ]

You do.

Of course. [That's been a reality of her life, too.]

But why bother forcing it?

Because why go on if not for the hope of future happiness?

I guess my hope is that it'll come around without me having to force it.

Would you mourn until it comes your way?

I think there should be an in-between point between forcing it and waiting forever for it.

It must take various lengths of time for each of us.

We're different people. Different reactions. It makes sense.

One is badly regarded when the mourning period is too long or too brief, however.

I guess I can't say it occurred to me I should fret about that in this case. Nobody here actually has any right to tell me how I should or shouldn't feel.