Bonfire of the bored (Dictated/Action)

[originalcopy]

[Church loves to stand around and bitch about the cold as much as the next guy...but frankly he's starting to get sick of hearing almost nothing but people complaining about the cold.  It's time to do something about it.   So now he's outside gathering whatever wood he can find from the surrounding woods and stacking it in
a massive pile.  He's pretty sure he has it far enough from the castle so it won't melt.

He has "mini-Harper" riding along with him and trying to figure out how to drink his coke.  Seriously, bears handing out drinks?]

Hey Paradisa!  Time to show the cold who's boss. 

I don't know about the rest of you, but where I'm from, a bonfire is a perfect way to celebrate the season.

And frankly the bored red-necks would take any opportunity to set a fire... but that's beside the point.

Anyway, if anyone wants to help just look for the stack of wood outside... I could use some gasoline.
It's like the traditional offering to the red-neck bonfire gods or something.


You said you worked in a hotel right... Would you be willing to help?   I suck at hosting things.

Comments

Action

[inharperwetrust]

You're building it wrong.

[Harper has since abandoned trying to drink and is sat on Church's shoulder.]

Action

[originalcopy]

What? No I'm not!

I've built tons of these things. You just pile this shit up into a big cone... thing. How hard can it be.

Re: Action

[inharperwetrust]

Cone thing? That a technical term?

Re: Action

[originalcopy]

Yes that's a very technical term...

[he grabs another load of brush to add to the pile. And yes, he does at least remember to try to find stuff that's reasonably dry.]

Re: Action

[inharperwetrust]

It's just gonna fall down when you set fire to it.

And gasoline isn't the best thing to use.

Dictated

[squirrelhunter]

[Someone's pretty insulted.]

How 'bout I set fire to your ass?

Re: Dictated

[originalcopy]

I'd like you see you try numb-nut... I'm in fuckin' armor.

You want to set fire to something than get me some god-damn gasoline. This shit isn't going to light itself.

[no idea what's chafing that guys ass...]

Dictated

[squirrelhunter]

Be like openin' a tin can. Peice by peice.

[A snort.]

Y'can wish for shit like that. [Why, yes, that's a decidedly redneck accent right there]

[originalcopy]

A tin can that can fight back ass-wipe.

Oh right... I can can't I.

[squirrelhunter]

Like a townie peice-a-shit can fight.

An' how can ya forget some basic shit like that?

Dictated

[kid_apocalypse]

If...umm...you need fire, I could probably help. Fire's sort of my thing.

Re: Dictated

[originalcopy]

Your thing huh... Well, I guess you can't have a proper bonfire without a pyromaniac.

Just so you know, if pull a "hey y'all watch this"... I'm not going to be responsible for the mess.

[kid_apocalypse]

Oh, I'm...not a pyromaniac. I'm pyrokinetic. I can shoot beams of energy from my eyes and stuff.

Also? Diesel fuel is actually a better accelerant than gasoline. It burns better, longer, and isn't as explosive. Considering that the castle is a giant block of ice, we're better off with a stable fire, right?

[originalcopy]

I thought you said you weren't a pyromaniac.

... Diesel vs. gasoline...

[kid_apocalypse]

That's right. Just because I have the power doesn't mean I like to use it, unless I have to. Me shooting fire from my eyes from a safe distance is a lot safer than someone standing next to a big pile of wood with a box of matches, right?

Gasoline also burns off a lot more quickly, so you have to use a lot more of it in order to maintain a steady heat, which is why diesel is better. It burns just as hot, for twice as long.

[Yes, he's done the research. He lived on a "farm" and had more than a few bonfires in the simulated reality that constituted his childhood.]

[i_got_this]

[Here comes South with a couple gascans she copped from York's warthog in the hangar.]

Someone said 'fire'?

[originalcopy]

Who the fuck invited you?

[Why yes, he is actually kind of glad to see her... which is exactly why he's going to give her shit.]

Still, since you brought the party favors... I guess you can stay.

[i_got_this]

You, asshole. [He's actually on her 'people I'll willingly tolerate' list, part of which because she could bitch at him as well.] Please tell me you have wieners and marshmallows and shit, that's the only reason I came.

[originalcopy]

Obviously... that way I won't have to listen to you bitch. Unless you're one of those pricks that's always talking with their mouth full.

In which case you're gross too.

[i_got_this]

You must get all the ladies with talk like that. [Setting down the gas cans, and popping off her helmet before scrounging around for s'mores ingredients.]

Church//...WOW I MISSED THIS. I'm sorry!

[holyrabies]

[She giggles a bit.]

I lived at the hotel. The zombies and witches worked there, and Daddy owned it. But... I could still help, if you'd like!

No worries... :)

[originalcopy]

[ok, he's going to skip how fucked up that all sounded and skip to the important part. She's willing to help out.]

Great... I need someone to bring bonfire stuff like marshmallows, hotdogs and shit.

And maybe see if anyone is actually willing to come. I don't have much of a "friends list" here.

:)

[holyrabies]

Okay, I can get the food. And I don't know a ton of people, but I'm sure if I - or you - just asked, people would be happy to come.

Although you already did ask. So I guess you want more than that.

[originalcopy]

Well, let's just say... I think an invite from you would work better than one from me.

[holyrabies]

Don't be so hard on yourself! You're a cool guy. But okay, I can do that!