Fifty Eight Sip

[mal_addict]

Right. So I have a question. Are the polar bears giving caffeinated drinks thing a normal part of that Christmas holiday? Because I've been in the castle for a while and no one has ever mentioned it before.

Do you only have it on certain Christmases? And what does it have to do with that baby being born? Which is still a ridiculous reason to have a holiday but whatever.

Comments

dictated;

[likethetragedy]

It's not normal.

forever!

[mal_addict]

Oh good. For a moment, I was getting very concerned about Earth culture.

[likethetragedy]

I'm surprised you aren't concerned already. A lot of this must seem strange if you didn't grow up with it.

[mal_addict]

Oh trust me, I went far beyond concerned the first Christmas I had to spend here.

[likethetragedy]

Which part got to you the most?

[mal_addict]

The zombie part. I mean, we have zombies in my world too, but Hogswatch has nothing to do with them.

[likethetragedy]

... What zombie part?

[mal_addict]

The man who came back from the dead. He was born at this time, right?

[likethetragedy]

Right, he was. [A beat.] Did someone tell you he was a zombie?

[samson]

It was like a magic, religious baby. That's why.

[mal_addict]

I thought Earth didn't have magic.

[samson]

What? My neighbor is a necromancer. We have magic.

[mal_addict]

...Oh.

Well. That changes things a little...

[samson]

Not that the Christmas baby -- Jesus, by the way -- is a necromancer.

[He pauses. Because, well.]

I mean, most of the time.

[mal_addict]

...Okay now I'm lost. Didn't he come back from the dead?

[samson]

Yeah. But that was because of God or something. So, religious magic instead of ... whatever kind of magic necromancers use.

[mal_addict]

...So a God brought him back?

[LONG PAUSE HERE. Gods are douchebags, that doesn't make any sense] Why?

[staggeringego]

Of course! Every twelfth Christmas is always celebrated by drinking delivery bears. Did you really not know?

[mal_addict]

[The sarcasm is missed]

No, I always assumed it was a very boring affair.

[staggeringego]

[ Possibly even better. At least potentially more entertaining. ]

Never! We've got a yearly set of twelve different traditions for every Christmas. If you're lucky maybe you'll get to see next years festivities. That whole baby thing? Finally completely explained. I'm afraid we can't talk much about it now, of course, what with it being the wrong year for that and all.

[mal_addict]

...No one's mentioned this to me before.

[staggeringego]

Really? Well that's just rude of them.

[mal_addict]

...Are you sure it's real? I have people to clarify this.

[staggeringego]

Absolutely! Ask them all you want.

[ Because the worst that can happen is she looks silly actually asking people about this. ]

[mal_addict]

Right. Duly noted.

[And then she'll find you and beat you up with a STICK]