paradisa | 040; action/dictated

[There's that odd moment when you wake up somewhere different than where you fell asleep. Spike realizes it before he opens his eyes, which gives him the foresight to keep them shut until his curiosity gets the better of him. Silk sheets, the warmth of someone nearby, and as he peeks one eye open: a journal sitting open near the edge of the bed. Sometimes they really do try too hard.]

...

[When he glances over, it's the golden hair that finally gets a reaction. Julia? Her back is facing him, but he knows by now... it's her. All week, she's been avoiding him (not that he blames her), so of course the castle would see that as an opportunity to mess with a delicate situation. Spike doesn't wake her. If anything, he's very careful not to disturb any peace she's finding before their strange reality comes back into play. After a lingering silence, he slips off the edge of the bed, grabbing the journal as he moves, and finds a place by the window -- barely lifting an eyebrow at the overstuffed heart-shaped chair -- to sit and read.]

I could have sworn I've seen this before. [--he's mumbling, flipping through the last few pages until he has a better grasp on what's happening. He even manages to sound quietly amused at the commentary, even if they can't see his smile. At least it's not just him this time.]

Gets more like a prison every day. [You know, if prison was crossed with a tacky brothel.] They'll get it right eventually.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[What that provides is about the furthest thing from reassurance. She can see through it in less than half a second; the chain reaction created by those thoughts is obviously written on his face. Even now, when years have passed, when circumstances have changed... Spike's reactions remain completely predictable.

And that's exactly what worries her.

She doesn't return his smile. Instead, in response, the look on her own face only becomes more troubled. No, he can't go anywhere else right now, so he's safe for the moment. But who knows how long that'll last? Whatever this is, whatever plan he may or may not be trying to formulate in his mind right now, she has to stop him. No matter what.]

Spike. [It's short, clipped, serious. But wavering. Just like that day, so long ago, when he'd approached her with a plan.]

[The smile doesn't last; mostly because the logistics of what he's imagining is going to be a challenge. Especially right now.

There's one other reason.]

Is that why you didn't want to tell me? [That question comes out of nowhere. It suddenly bothers him enough to ask. She seems to know what's on his mind, which could mean she's seen it all before. Hard to defend what you can't remember.]

[It really does come out of nowhere. So much so that it takes her aback just a bit. As predictably as this whole scene has been playing out, this is the one thing that hasn't. Such direct questions usually aren't their forte, and she doesn't immediately know how to respond.

Because it's the truth, hitting her smack in the face. Her most underlying motivation, brought out into the open. Perhaps he could still read her as well as he once could. Rather than making her nervous, that knowledge is almost... a relief, in some way.

In that moment, she makes a decision to go through with a move of her own that's almost unprecedented, at least by their standards lately. She wills her feet to complete those last few steps, not stopping until she's reached the edge of the bed where he's still sitting. There's barely a moment's hesitation before she takes a seat next to him, a hand reaching for one of his.

Then, gently:]

You're not responsible.

[It's only fair that she has her own way of taking him by surprise. A few minutes ago, Spike had been convinced she was going to keep as far away from him as their situation allowed, but instead...

She's staying by him. Or she knows exactly how to play her cards. The trouble with that is, if she's manipulating him or not, Spike can't bring himself to care. The moment she rests her hand on his, all his plans are put on hold. More than a simple gesture; that Julia would cross that line he was too afraid to approach meant something. Keeping their defenses up all the time is bound to wear them out eventually, and he doesn't feel sorry for it. He needs to memorize this. Everything about her.]

... You might be the only one taking my side. [A degree of tension lifts at his slightly self-deprecating reply. Even if it should be going the other way around, the selfish side of him wants to take all the comfort she can offer. That's the kind of man he is.]

[It'd been a risk. A leap of faith, if you wanted to get completely cliche. For so long now, she'd been holding back, not wanting to tip the balance of something that circumstance had made so fragile. Not wanting to overstep her bounds, to force him into something that he'd have to take her word for. Fighting every last impulse to the death.

More than anything, she's tired of fighting. Especially when the prospect of the one thing she wants, the one thing she needs, is sitting right next to her. Maybe that makes her selfish in some way. But maybe she can be awarded that one small indulgence.

As the tension lifts, a smile flashes over her features, practically gone in five seconds, but it's unmistakable. Her eyes briefly cast downward to catch a glimpse of her hand on his, almost as if she needs visual confirmation of it, before lifting once more.]

I'll always be on your side. [It might be as hollow of a promise as anything is. But there's a weight to her words, one that implies something much deeper than what's on the surface of this conversation.]

040; action/dictated

Didn't even notice B)

lies

would I ever lie to you? :(

hm.

i see how it is