Eighteen Spoons {Dictated; Forward Dated to a more Manageable Hour}

[cyan_maid]

[There’s some shuffling and muttering going on over the journal, as if someone is situating themselves with a lot of objects.]

Oh, blast it… Aha! There we are. I knew I could carry everything!

So I know it’s a bit late, but I wanted to thank everyone who gave me a Christmas present this year! I love them all so much, I’m sorry all I gave was a bunch of candy. But anyway! I wanted to repay you all with something, and one of my gifts had just the thing – a recipe for cake batter fudge! And the microwave actually cooperated! I made a lot, so if you just wanted to pop by for something sweet, I won’t turn you away! [And here’s where she tells you where her room is before gasping.]

Oh, oh! Dirk, Roxy! You both better come up, I want you guys to meet everyone-

[There’s an intake of breath, a mysterious muttered apology, and then-]

WAUGH!

[There’s some thuds, and a clatter, and the sound of a lot of cake batter fudge hitting the ground. But it’s really not the fudge you should be worried about. It’s Jane. Anyone who happens on her will find her half-sprawled on the stairs, out cold, and no attempts to wake her will work. Somebody should have warned her about those stairs, man.]

((OOC: And Jane is out for the count for her canon bump! She'll be unresponsive here, so go as crazy as you like!))

Comments

[shenunigans]

looks like nobody warned you about the stairs dog
i give you a 8/10
you gave a pretty good show but you botched the landing

you can get up now gurl

c'mon man it stopped being funny like five seconds ago
sort of

crocker?

jane?


jaaaane

oh shit
[Dictated.]
Jane Crocker, get your ass up right now missy.

[whichwayyoulean]

[Oh holy hell not another one D:]

Jane? Jaaaaaney? This would be a really good time to say something.

[theabjectauthor]

I'm glad that you found someth-- .... Oh lord. That didn't sound terribly fortunate. Jane? .... Jane?!

[wagers]

Hey, I ain't saying no to more sweets, Jane! You gotta let me have the first taste, though!

[wagers]

[WHOA, BUT WAIT... THERE'S A CLATTER-- AND PERHAPS A BATTER SPLATTER!]

[wagers]

[Give her a second......... yeah, she's going to think you're okay for now, and just roll with it.]

Haha, that sounded like it sucked! Did you have a nice trip?

[wagers]

AM I GOING TO SEE YOU NEXT FALL?

[wagers]

[........]

Get it? Haha!

[wagers]

[........
........
........
........
........
........
........
........]

Wait.

[wagers]

[DID SHE REALLY--]

Ugh! IT KEEPS HAPPENING!

dictated + action;

[goingrogue]

Jane...?

Janey, are you okay?

... Jane, answer me!

[ Okay, getting panicked now. ]

Shit, no! Not now-- I'm coming for you! Just-- Stay there! Or. Don't stay there. Just be okay, okay?

[ Aaand she's out of there like a bat out of hell. She's not really sure where she is, but she's going to head out in the general direction of where she said her room was for starters. ]

[wagers]

[You know who's going to be there with the same idea, though? You know what's going to happen?

Yeah, it's going to be a Vriska! She's all up in Jane's business, clad in her orange pajamas, wings all aflutter as she hovers over the otherwise lifeless body of the young Jane Crocker.]

Oh, come on! Really?

[goingrogue]

[ Completely panicked she made for Jane at top speed, Jane swimming in to view. Her eyes slid from Jane to the troll hanging over her, back to her friends body. ]

Oh hell no, not fairy trolls. Hey, back away from the body! That's my best friend and you can't have her so back on off.

[wagers]

[Who the heck is this? And why...]

Uh, excuse you? I was just about to get her to safety! Finders keepers!

[goingrogue]

Like I believe that. She falls and I find you over her body, this is so fishy even Jane herself wouldn't get a kick out of detectivy stuff with this. she'd be all OBJECTION and shit. Now as her best friend you need to back put your hands where I can see them and back the hell away from the body.

[ There is a tone of or else there. Not that Roxy can actually do anything, but this is Jane we're talking about. She'd fight tooth and nail for her. ]

[wagers]

[There is a very distinct scoff at this. Challenge accepted!]

Wait a second. You're little miss bubblegum text from the journal, aren't you?

[goingrogue]

If by bubblegum you mean bright pink, then ding ding ding we have a winner! Congratulations, you win a great big backin' off so Nurse Ro-Lal can show Jane what she is made of.

[ Oh, it is on fairy-troll. This is her chance to make things better and she's not going to let this opportunity slip away. Jane's her best friend. ]

[wagers]

[Scoff #2!]

Rolal? What kind of stupid loser name is that?

[And now she's kneeling in order to pick up Jane all cinematic and what not!]

Whatever. It's not like it matters! I got to her first, so I'm going to be the one aiding her here! Why don't you just step off and take a number in the waiting room or something?

[goingrogue]

You only wish you were as cool as The Ro-Lal. Bitches don't even know, they be all Ohhhh Ro-Lal Ohhhh. [ This is where she would roll her eyes. Seriously, who did this bitch think she was? ]

You can check on out, because I'm the nurse here and I am ready to be all CLEAR this bitch back to life. [ This is the point where she practically pounces on Vriska, attempting to push her away while at the same time landing a big old smooch on Jane's lifeless lips. Take that, Dirk Strider. Who's pimpin' now. ]

1/?

[wagers]

[What thje hell? What was this girls' deal? Why was she so aggressively nonsensical?]

Ro-lal? That's seriously what you're going with? That's fucking ridiculous! I--

[wagers]

[And there goes Vriska, just barreling off to the side once the other connects because it's like, THAT SURE WAS A HIT OUT OF NOWHERE!]

[wagers]

[She's quick to pick herself up because WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK? WHAT WAS HER PROBLEM? WHY DID SHE HAVE TO GO AND DO........]

!

[wagers]

[Wait.

WHAT?

IS SHE REALLY KISSING HER?]

What are you doing? Is she your matesprit or something?

[goingrogue]

[ WHATEVER VRISKA ROXY IS BUSY. IT'S LIKE YOU AIN'T EVEN THERE.

Unpuckering she leans away just enough to eagerly watch Jane's face. The longer she goes without movement the more Roxy starts to panic all over again. ]

Aw shit, no! It was supposed to work! [ She only barely acknowledges that Vriska said something. ] What? No-- It's how friends bring friends back to life! It worked for Dirk and he's gay as the fourth of july. Shit, Jane, come back to me.

[ She gives her a little shake. Still nothing.

Fuck you Strider, why'd you have to be all suave and shit. Twice now Roxy's failed to bring Jane back to life, but for good measure she kisses her again.

And again.

And about 5 more times in quick succession. You know, just in case. ]

1/2

[wagers]

[What...]

Wait... Wh--

[wagers]

[NOW IT'S VRISKA'S TURN TO SHOVE!]

You incompetent boob! Jane isn't dead! She's just out for the count! Just give her to me, I got this!

[goingrogue]

No way, this is just like this time on Derse! Only I couldn't kiss her then and I did now! [ She sounds proud of herself for doing it this time, but her eyes are full on glare mode at Vriska. She even hugs Jane a little closer. ]

Not happening. You can have her when you can pry her from my frosty cold hands. And by that I mean when I'm dead too, 'cause I ain't going nowhere.

[wagers]

You sure did. Good for you. Your love for Jane is absolutely astounding! [She's even faux-clapping at this point!]

I don't care if you want to smooch her 'til the centaurs come home, but if she doesn't get to the clinic right away, she might as well be dead!

[goingrogue]

There's centaurs? Wait-- No, now's not the time to be thinking about that! [ But shit, centaurs... Not as cool as wizards and she may not be the pony buff around these neck of the woods but... still. Pretty cool. ]

How are you sure she's not dead? [ She glances from her lifeless bff to Vriska. ] I mean look at her! She's looking pretty dead to me...

/horrible timing threadjack y/y?

[theabjectauthor]

[and another of Jane's friends came to investigate, and arrives with the absolute worst possible timing. at the sight of this particular tableau, he goes white as a sheet]

... DEAD?!

whaoaoa 1/2

[wagers]

[WHOA WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHY AND-- oh gosh where did he come from?]

Wait! No! No. Who...

[wagers]

[AUGH!!!!!!!!]

She's not dead! Look at her. Right at those nice little rumble spheres of hers. Her chest is moving up and down.

[She bets Rolal is looking she tells you what.] Now, I ain't no expert on human anatomy, but isn't the moving of a human's chest kind of conducive to breathing? And isn't that kind of a thing that humans do when they're alive?

[theabjectauthor]

[he leans in and peers, but only long enough to confirm that she is breathing, because he is an older gentleman compared to her, and he is most decidedly not a creeper even though he spent a good chunk of his life recently tracking two teens and a baby, because that was totally legit]

Oh, thank heavens. I -- I heard what you were saying about poor Jane, as I was coming to try and help her, and I -- well --

I don't know what I would have done, if that were truly the case...!

[goingrogue]

What, they are?

[ If she wasn't looking at her chest before, she sure was now. ]

Oh thank god. [ She turns her attention to the other two, eyes full of pleading. ] If she's alive, what do we do?

[theabjectauthor]

I should think we should bring her to the clinic ... We'd need a way to make sure she wasn't hurt while moving her, though. [he frowns]

[goingrogue]

The clinic? [ She looked from the dude, to Jane, to Vriska, back to Jane and back up at the guy. ] 3 of us should be enough, right?

[ Add an extra pleading look in the direction of Vriska here. ]

Dictated

[dupable]

Jane? ... Are you okay?

...

Hey... Jane?

[ Uh oh. Well here's another person to worry over her until she gets back up soon. ]

[psych0p0mps]

whoa that was not a good sound
are you ok
jane

jane!