Eighteen Spoons {Dictated; Forward Dated to a more Manageable Hour}

[cyan_maid]

[There’s some shuffling and muttering going on over the journal, as if someone is situating themselves with a lot of objects.]

Oh, blast it… Aha! There we are. I knew I could carry everything!

So I know it’s a bit late, but I wanted to thank everyone who gave me a Christmas present this year! I love them all so much, I’m sorry all I gave was a bunch of candy. But anyway! I wanted to repay you all with something, and one of my gifts had just the thing – a recipe for cake batter fudge! And the microwave actually cooperated! I made a lot, so if you just wanted to pop by for something sweet, I won’t turn you away! [And here’s where she tells you where her room is before gasping.]

Oh, oh! Dirk, Roxy! You both better come up, I want you guys to meet everyone-

[There’s an intake of breath, a mysterious muttered apology, and then-]

WAUGH!

[There’s some thuds, and a clatter, and the sound of a lot of cake batter fudge hitting the ground. But it’s really not the fudge you should be worried about. It’s Jane. Anyone who happens on her will find her half-sprawled on the stairs, out cold, and no attempts to wake her will work. Somebody should have warned her about those stairs, man.]

((OOC: And Jane is out for the count for her canon bump! She'll be unresponsive here, so go as crazy as you like!))

Comments

!

[wagers]

[Wait.

WHAT?

IS SHE REALLY KISSING HER?]

What are you doing? Is she your matesprit or something?

[goingrogue]

[ WHATEVER VRISKA ROXY IS BUSY. IT'S LIKE YOU AIN'T EVEN THERE.

Unpuckering she leans away just enough to eagerly watch Jane's face. The longer she goes without movement the more Roxy starts to panic all over again. ]

Aw shit, no! It was supposed to work! [ She only barely acknowledges that Vriska said something. ] What? No-- It's how friends bring friends back to life! It worked for Dirk and he's gay as the fourth of july. Shit, Jane, come back to me.

[ She gives her a little shake. Still nothing.

Fuck you Strider, why'd you have to be all suave and shit. Twice now Roxy's failed to bring Jane back to life, but for good measure she kisses her again.

And again.

And about 5 more times in quick succession. You know, just in case. ]

1/2

[wagers]

[What...]

Wait... Wh--

[wagers]

[NOW IT'S VRISKA'S TURN TO SHOVE!]

You incompetent boob! Jane isn't dead! She's just out for the count! Just give her to me, I got this!

[goingrogue]

No way, this is just like this time on Derse! Only I couldn't kiss her then and I did now! [ She sounds proud of herself for doing it this time, but her eyes are full on glare mode at Vriska. She even hugs Jane a little closer. ]

Not happening. You can have her when you can pry her from my frosty cold hands. And by that I mean when I'm dead too, 'cause I ain't going nowhere.

[wagers]

You sure did. Good for you. Your love for Jane is absolutely astounding! [She's even faux-clapping at this point!]

I don't care if you want to smooch her 'til the centaurs come home, but if she doesn't get to the clinic right away, she might as well be dead!

[goingrogue]

There's centaurs? Wait-- No, now's not the time to be thinking about that! [ But shit, centaurs... Not as cool as wizards and she may not be the pony buff around these neck of the woods but... still. Pretty cool. ]

How are you sure she's not dead? [ She glances from her lifeless bff to Vriska. ] I mean look at her! She's looking pretty dead to me...

/horrible timing threadjack y/y?

[theabjectauthor]

[and another of Jane's friends came to investigate, and arrives with the absolute worst possible timing. at the sight of this particular tableau, he goes white as a sheet]

... DEAD?!

whaoaoa 1/2

[wagers]

[WHOA WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHY AND-- oh gosh where did he come from?]

Wait! No! No. Who...

[wagers]

[AUGH!!!!!!!!]

She's not dead! Look at her. Right at those nice little rumble spheres of hers. Her chest is moving up and down.

[She bets Rolal is looking she tells you what.] Now, I ain't no expert on human anatomy, but isn't the moving of a human's chest kind of conducive to breathing? And isn't that kind of a thing that humans do when they're alive?

[theabjectauthor]

[he leans in and peers, but only long enough to confirm that she is breathing, because he is an older gentleman compared to her, and he is most decidedly not a creeper even though he spent a good chunk of his life recently tracking two teens and a baby, because that was totally legit]

Oh, thank heavens. I -- I heard what you were saying about poor Jane, as I was coming to try and help her, and I -- well --

I don't know what I would have done, if that were truly the case...!

[goingrogue]

What, they are?

[ If she wasn't looking at her chest before, she sure was now. ]

Oh thank god. [ She turns her attention to the other two, eyes full of pleading. ] If she's alive, what do we do?

[theabjectauthor]

I should think we should bring her to the clinic ... We'd need a way to make sure she wasn't hurt while moving her, though. [he frowns]

[goingrogue]

The clinic? [ She looked from the dude, to Jane, to Vriska, back to Jane and back up at the guy. ] 3 of us should be enough, right?

[ Add an extra pleading look in the direction of Vriska here. ]