ℒℒ 51

[luthored]

[Wesley Wyndam-Pryce]

I've been meaning to tell you something, but it seems at every turn it's just bad timing.

I don't need our standard training, anymore. If I'm going to learn anything, I want to just focus on defense against magic, like what we started with before you were turned into a cat.

[/Wesley Wyndam-Pryce]

[Stephanie Brown]

So... I hope you aren't angry.

[/Stephanie Brown]

[Kara]

I think it's time that we talked.

[/Kara]

[ And, later... ]

[Damon Salvatore]

[ Did someone order a break-in? No? Well, she'll have to stay anyway until you say so.

But really, this started as her trying to write something, only to realize he would just ignore it and her, so instead she'll be waiting in a nice chair in his room, reading by a single lamp while a wrapped Christmas present sits in her lap. She's even decked out with a Christmas sweater for kicks.

They will talk whether he likes it or not. ]

[/Damon Salvatore]

Comments

[luthored]

[ She looks down again, brow furrowed as she tries to think of a solution. But there really is none, is there? She does care for Ezio, and she doesn't want to leave him. He makes her feel powerful, and beautiful, and wanted.

Damon seems to offer her nothing but grief, but deep down she knows better. She knows that her feelings for him probably run even deeper than his do for her, but she's terrified of saying so out loud. Scared it will only hurt him more, that he'll think she's lying, that it alone is a betrayal of Ezio's trust.

But she feels she owes Damon something. Anything. Because once upon a time, she was his savior, and he was hers.

So she whispers, if it can even be called that, more of a shaken breath, and takes a step back like she's afraid just saying it will make the floor collapse from underneath her. She's never admitted this to anyone, not even herself, out loud. ]

I loved you.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[Damon's heard "I cared about you" more times than he cares to count out of Katherine's mouth. But that's a first and it takes him aback. For a long moment, he doesn't say anything. He just uses taking a drink from his glass as an attempt to justify the silence and pretend like he doesn't need any time to process that. He looks away from her.

His voice is a little shaky:]

Well. [He shakes his head, swallowing hard.] Good to know I really seized the moment on that one.

[He downs the rest of his glass and sets it aside. Damon doesn't trust his grip on it right now.]

[luthored]

[ And her voice, well, it cracks. She hurriedly raises her hand to cover her mouth, muffling her voice somewhat.

It's even worse because she doesn't know if it could have worked, anyway, knowing the crimes he's committed. He doesn't remember, but she does, and she can't forget. She won't let herself. Perhaps that's why her affections will never be able to shake off the guilt that clings like glue. ]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—

[ Wow, she wants to run away. But that would be stupid, since she was the one to insist that they talk. And then she went and made it worse, stupid, stupid!

She chokes it down, and it's a marvel that her eyes are still dry. But Lana Lang has been taught to act by misery and treachery, and sometimes it's a boon. ]

I shouldn't have said anything. It doesn't help. I just... Now I don't know what to do. I don't want you to be gone from my life. I know it's selfish, and stupid.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[Damon wanted so badly to agree. But he couldn't. With an unsteady sigh, he shook his head.]

No, Lana, it's not. [He looked at her.] I'm not the same person that was here before and I don't have a right to anything you felt for him and I sure as hell don't have any right to keep you from whatever it is you have now with someone else.

I shouldn't be punishing you for that.

[luthored]

[ It's probably the most unexpected thing for him to say, and somehow it's not at all what she wants to hear. She cries then, but it's silent. Else she couldn't speak. ]

I still...

Maybe it's easy for you to distinguish, without the memories, but not for me. No matter what's been dismissed and agreed on, you're the same person to me. You react the same, you smile the same, even your cruelty is the same. You— You're Damon.

So maybe everything has changed, but it seems like nothing has. I mean, we— we're still fighting, and laughing, and I still—

[ Ugh she can't talk. She can't form words, she was idiotic for forcing this issue on him when she can offer him nothing but broken words and hiccups. ]

Don't shut me out.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[Damon stands stock still while she speaks, trying to find something to say. He wants to insist that he's not the same person, but she's not talking with some of that barely held back disdain and disapproval she normally when talking about the past.

That just leaves him with nothing to say.

So, he tries to buy himself a little time and tries to calm her down some by gathering her up into his arms.]

[luthored]

[ She latches on instantly, arms wrapped around his middle and her face buried against his shoulder. She's not outright sobbing, but she is having major control issues when it comes to keeping her composure. Lana wouldn't admit that she had been scared when he told her to leave, scared that it really had been the last straw. She never knows when that will be with him, or with her. The unpredictability of Paradisa only impacts their own, and it leaves her desperate for any familiarity she can find.

Damon's only held her like this once, and he won't remember, but she remembers and she remembers fondly. Which, of course, only brings about more guilt and more attempts to not weep all over his shoulder.

Her eyes dry quickly, but the shaking takes a bit longer to subside. It's then that she lets out a short laugh (not happy), somewhat abruptly and inappropriately, her thoughts having taken a turn towards the present she brought. It seems aptly ironic, now. ]

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[He pulls away some, brushing back some of her hair behind her ear.]

You okay?

[It seems like the most useless question in the world, but it does merit asking. Damon would really like to stop her from having a total breakdown in his room if he can help it.]

[luthored]

[ She nods, then re-considers and shakes her head. ]

I should be asking you that.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

I'll live.

[Figuratively speaking, of course.]

[luthored]

...I should go.

[ Lana pulls back, wiping at her face with a sleeve as she goes to fetch the package from the chair and head for the door. ]

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[Damon's fast this time. He's at the door - closing it and then leaning against it just before she can reach it.]

Do you want to go?

[luthored]

[ She's embarrassed he saw her cry, gosh. And over everything else. And over the present she now wants to hide away. ]

I think it's been made clear that what we want doesn't seem to matter.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[He's looking her straight in the eye. And if she tries to look away, he's just going to keep trying to maintain that eye contact.]

That's not what I asked.

[luthored]

[ She'll look back just because she doesn't want to seem wimpy. ]

I wanted to give you your present, but... It seems in especially poor taste after what was just said.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[He's quite surprisingly calm still.]

That's still not what I asked, Lana.

[luthored]

I don't know.

[ As honest as she can be on that one... Because it's not like she WANTS more discomfort, but she doesn't necessarily want to leave, either. ]

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[He nods, finally breaking the eye contact for a moment. He's silent.

And then he moves out of the way. He doesn't open the door, doesn't say anything to try and convince her to stay.

It's Lana's choice.]

[luthored]

[ She drops her gaze when he finally moves, one foot in the doorway's opening, before she thrusts the box into his arms and stands back quietly. She doesn't want to say anything until he reacts.

Inside is a bracelet, with a small hand-written note attached.

Known as "The Stone of Commitment", Garnet insists that we live through our heart whispers if we wish to prosper and live abundantly. It is a stone that connects our heart to others, and also has a protective quality about it. Said to protect from both physical and emotional wounding, it is advantageous to carry this stone, especially at night or when traveling. It is also useful in banishing unproductive patterns from our lives, ridding us of what is old, stale and no longer needed. Thus, it renews vitality and regenerates. Garnet is a creation stone; it inspires and lives in the land of the creative.

In myth and lore, Garnet was sacred to many ancient tribes around the globe. In ancient Egypt, it was called and believed to be the "Blood of Isis". It is mentioned in the Talmud as providing the only light on Noah's ark as they weathered the stormy darkness. And it was said to be one of the twelve stones used in the breastplate of the High Priest.

~ L.L. ]

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[Damon reads the note before he really inspects at the bracelet.]

And here I thought I gave off the vibe of being more a diamonds kind of girl.

[It's a light joke because of the major edge of tension in this room.]

[luthored]

I'll be sure to get you a diamond necklace next, then.

[ It does make her smile, though it's small and awkward. He had joked the last time, too, though of a different nature. ]

That's actually...a re-gift of sorts. I gave it to you last Christmas, and it appeared in my room when you left. I've been holding onto it, not knowing if I should give it to you again or not, but... It seemed right.

Unless you don't want it for that reason.

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[Damon purses his lips for a moment before he takes Lana's hand. He places the bracelet back in her hand and gently closes her fingers around it. He brings his gaze up from her hand to meet her eyes.]

Maybe it could have been right, but... The thing is, you chose someone else.

[He pauses, trying to figure out how best to tell her this.]

And so did I. [Damon swallows hard.] So, I can't be in limbo with you here, Lana. I'm sorry.

[He lets her hand go.]

[luthored]

[ It startles her more than she can say, having honestly hoped he would accept the bracelet. But it's his words that confuse her more. ]

...What do you mean? You chose someone else? Who?

[untilmydarknessgoes]

[Probably in one of his smarter moves, Damon steps away from Lana. Back over to pour himself another drink. He keeps his back to her.]

Katherine.

[luthored]

[ Lane pales considerably, not that he can see with his back turned, and her hands drop to her sides, letting the bracelet fall to the floor. Her voice sounds distant to her own ears; weak. ]

...Katherine.

Katherine. The woman you've done nothing but scorn since I've first known you.