[Backdated to around midnight. Action]

[cantacquityou]

 

[It was after midnight. Edgeworth was clad in a pair of deep-red pajamas, placidly enjoying a cup of tea in his kitchen, alternating between reading a chapter of the Steel Samurai manga, playing a digital game of chess, and idly researching comparisons between alternative medical treatments and conventional methods of medical practice of certain maladies on his tablet, when the Valentine's Day decor suddenly exploded into being all at once like some Harry Potter shit. Since he has headphones on, listening to 
Symphony No. 8 in B minor 'Unvollendete' by Schubert,  he doesn't notice the sudden change in decor until he looks up moments later.

He sighs. Another one of the castle's shenanigans, no doubt. He takes a few moments to check the Paradisa feed and notes that everyone else seemed to have the same 'problem,' so he realizes that it's probably unnecessary to make a castle-wide post inquiring about it.

He rises from the stool that he was sitting on, and walks about, surveying the place. As he descends the stairs towards his bedroom, his head turned upwards, studying the gaudy bedizenment of every nook and cranny of the place, he is certainly not prepared for the other part of the castle's surprise... 

He is, needless to say, very startled to find Phoenix Wright standing near the foot of his bed. His body tenses in fright upon seeing the unexpected visitor in his room, nearing dropping the tablet in hand. He begins to exhibit an array of speechless gestures of aggravation, including face!palming, clenching his fist and such, before he yells:]






...What the hell are you doing here?!


[/Edit: Room now looks something like this: Bed, Ceiling, Kitchen, and various elements from these rooms.  And when the lights are off, the walls of the room glows like this, this, and this. Others: Couch, Toilet, Misc1, Misc2, Misc3.]

Comments

[takethat]

I've seen something very similar before...

[Shrug. Questionable magazines, questionable websites.]

[cantacquityou]

Well, I'll just presume that it's made for going into some orifice of the body and I'll keep it at that.






[...bends it.]

[takethat]

Y-yeah, that--why are you playing with it??

[cantacquityou]

Why are you alarmed? I doubt it has been used.

I need a D8! icon

[takethat]

I--you just shouldn't!

Why do we have that in the middle of all this good chocolate, anyway?

I need a drink >_>;

[cantacquityou]

...Hmmm. [he rubs his chin as he squints curiously at it] ...Is this by any chance commonly used in homosexual male copulation?

[takethat]

More often than not, I'm pretty sure. Not that I know much about that.

[cantacquityou]

I see.

[Tosses it aside.]

...That explains everything.

[takethat]

...how does that explain anything at all?

[cantacquityou]

Spontaneous 'romantic' decor, you, strange sex toys...


[He picks up the little teddy bear, inspecting it.]


...Obviously, the castle had it's own awry ideas. For us, no less.

[takethat]

What do you--

[He knows Edgeworth is right--it's all so obvious.]

...oh god.

[cantacquityou]

...There, there, Mr. Wright...

[takethat]

...and you're just okay with this?

[cantacquityou]

Being provided with tools doesn't necessarily mean we have to use them...

[takethat]

It means the castle's getting the wrong impression, though.

[cantacquityou]

...Or it could be acting in jest.

[takethat]

[He crosses his arms over his chest and "hmphs."]

It's not very funny.

[cantacquityou]

Oh? Well, I happen to find it hilarious.

[takethat]

Right, you're laughing so much and everything.

[He'll just go back to pilfering now.]

Wonder what else this place decided to leave for us...

[cantacquityou]

I take it you no longer wish to, 'put all this stuff to good use.'

[takethat]

Hey, hey! I said that way before I saw that... thing!

[cantacquityou]

What a pity. I assure you, I am not that bad. In actuality, you might thoroughly enjoy yourself...

[takethat]

Stop. Just... stop. Right now.

[cantacquityou]

[Snorts.]

[takethat]

[Throws a truffle at you]