theabjectauthor: (I am trying to read. Please go away.)
Lemony H. Snicket ([personal profile] theabjectauthor) wrote in [community profile] paradisa2013-01-20 04:28 pm
Entry tags:

Journal the Fourth

[the journal picks up the sounds of rustling, creaking, and other hubbub - a phrase which here means hustle and bustle. Lemony is in the process of packing himself a trunk, and dictating as he does so]

My dear residents ... [ahem]

I do apologize for dictating to you thus, rather than my usual written discourse, but I have something to prepare for, and I have lost quite a bit of my preparation time due to having been - [cough.] - terribly transmogrified into a cantankerous caterpillar for the last few days. While I appreciate a literary allusion as much as the next well-read, open-minded individual, I must admit that sitting on mushrooms for such an extended period was neither a comfortable nor recommended pastime.

[cough cough] And neither, of course, is the constant inhalation of mood or mind-altering stimulants, no matter how harmless they may be in a nonsensical situation. I certainly hope that I did not form any lasting first impressions on any of you during that time. While I do enjoy the occasional dose of nicotine, I am hardly such a wanton imbiber under normal - [COUGH.] - circumstances. ... Good heavens. Castle, might I have another pitcher of lemon water? ... Thank you.

[there's a pause as he takes a sip] That being said, I hope that some of you found enjoyable circumstances in recent days, and that no one was terribly injured by that terrible, manxome creature.

[general reparations having been made, he sets to folding up the laundry he'll be taking along, and starts in on the bevy of filters he's been intending to make for a short while now]

[Kalinda]

I have not heard from you recently ... I hope you've been well?

[Jane Crocker]

When would you like to have that cooking lesson in the kitchen?

[Dr. Gregory House]

Sir, I apologize for contacting you out of the blue, but may I have a word?

[Spike]

I have located that book on knids, if you are still interested!

[/Filters]
bronwe: (& / hide)

[personal profile] bronwe 2013-01-31 01:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Are you going on an adventure, Mr. Snicket? Will you be long?