paradisa | Twenty Spoons {Accidentally Dictated}

[Today's entry is much different from Jane's usual entries. Today, it seems as if the journal has been opened promptly and sharply, and her voice doesn't sound as close as usual.]

-Can't thank you enough for your help, Anna! I swear, I wouldn't trust anyone else with knowing my special Snickerdoodle recipie. You promise you won't let anyone know it? [There's a bleep-bloop for a response, and it's close by. Who has Jane's journal?]

Thank goodness! Now, I think I can use cookie cutters without souring the batch. It's not traditional, but I'm in the mood for making shapes. What do you think? [Blorp-beep!] Hoo hoo! Excellent! You roll out the dough, and I'll pick out a cookie cutter.

[There's a lot of clinking and rustling from far away, until...] Ahah! I've never seen this cutter before...it looks sort of like an Elephant's head - Anna, why are you shaking your head? Hey, give that back-

[Bloop-blorp!!] ...OH!!! Oh oh oh. Oh my. It's a - a dongle. That is definitely a dongle. [Her tone shifts to annoyance.] Oh Lordy. Why would anyone include something like this in a kitchen collection of cookie cutters? It is juvenile, ridiculous, irresponsible-

[There's a pause, as if a thought has struck the speaker, and soon stifled chuckles can be heard.] Oh my! It's - it's actually kind of funny to think about! Hoo hoo hoo! You know what? Let's use it!

[...Beep?]

((OOC: Credit for the origin of the Dickerdoodles joke with Jane, which is highly juvenile and hilariously ridiculous, goes to Goopi here. Uh you guys can take a dongle right??? If not I can hide the entry behind a cut.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's not what you think! Immortalizing dead family members is a tradition! Although I'll admit to it being a very, very awkward tradition...

...

Jane. Jane please don't tell me you have a dead family member serving as a robot.

No no no! My Poppop is not a robot in any way whatsoever!

Okay, that's...a teeny bit less creepy.

So...do you prop him up in a corner or...

He's usually on display in front of the fireplace.

Aren't you worried he'll catch fire? [Once-ler that is not being considerate]

I'm not the one who decided to put him there. I love my Poppop, but frankly, eating TV dinners with his corpse in the room is creepy.

Oh...good. I'm glad you recognise it as a creepy kind of thing.

Of course I do. I don't know how many times I have asked my Dad to put him up in the attic.

And no luck with that huh?

None whatsoever. He just shakes his head and says, [And she clears her throat and does that thing where people deepen their voices but it's still totally them,] "Jane, the mere fact that you call it that tells me that you are not ready, but I am still so proud of you for airing your concerns".

...Not ready for what exactly? Take on the family's proud history of stuffing loved ones?

I'm not sure. I suppose he thinks I'm not ready to put Poppop in the attic.

Oh.

Maybe he thinks you want some real closure? It's a weird way to go about it, but hey, it's something.

I don't know if I particularly need any. He died around the same time I was born, so I never got to know him in person.

Oh. So it's...

Your dad trying to get you to know your...dead stuffed grandfather?

Yeah I got nothing.

To be fair, he could have just had me watch all of his performances. Which I've already done.

Pre...form..manc..es?

Oh please god don't tell me you guys used your grandfathers stuffed corpse for magic tricks

No! Oh my God, no. That would be horrible!

My Poppop used to be a vaudeville performer when he was alive. We have them recorded.

Ohhhhhh.

Okay, yeah that makes a lot more sense.

...

What's a vaudeville?

What's vaudeville? Hm...it's kind of hard to explain. It was like a play, but instead of each act telling part of a story, there would be performances of all kinds. Music, dancing, magic tricks, comedians, all sorts of things!

Ohhhhh. Okay, that sounds pretty neat!

It is neat! Who knows, maybe I'll stumble upon a pile of his old tapes one day so I can show you! Or maybe some vaudeville tapes in general...

Sure, I'd like that. It'd be interesting.

I'll wear the sweater you gave me and we can watch the videos one day. How's that sound?

(no subject)

whichwayyoulean - 2013-02-03 03:12 (UTC) - Expand

cyan_maid - 2013-02-03 15:49 (UTC) - Expand