[4]

[savethedarkness]

[M hasn't spent long in her new room at all, but even so, she's not happy with it. she almost liked it better in the clinic. there, she had the anonymity she's used to: but here they've pasted her name in gold on the door. her REAL one, where she's spent the last few weeks introducing herself as Emma to save her skin. it's something that's easily worked around, but it still eats at her, and not necessarily because a secret she's used to keeping has been blown wide open. what's slowly bothering her more is that there's only one person who ever called her by that name, and he's far gone. sure, one other person knows her real name, but she'll be damned before she lets him speak it. it's a matter of pride, even as she knows she'll do whatever she can for that one other person. her stubborn nature's at war with the fact that she still feels her duty around her, even here. she's kept it inside well - she's an expert at that, after all. and yet, today - with everyone spilling their hearts out their mouths, she's been watching with a mounting horror, knowing it's only a matter of time.

so she paces her room like a kenneled animal, fidgeting, irritated, until the words can't be contained and fly out, bitten out and bitter. just the right sort of song.]

♫ Loneliness?!
Is a place that I know well
It's the distance between us
And the space inside ourselves ♪

♪ And emptiness?
Is the chattering in your head
It's the call of the living
And the race from life to death
Whoa and I know - yeah, and I know
What you feel... ♪

[she absently reaches up to touch her cheek, feeling along her jawline, as if she expects her face to feel different - as if she needs to make sure it's still there. there are things that haunt her, these days, that follow her. sins to think on.]

♩ And I've got a longin' that's hard to find
Won't give me no peace of mind
Something that I've lived with all along
Days and weeks and months and years
Filling in the time, my dear,
Tryin' to find the place where I belong... ♩

♪ Hopelessness ...
Is the darkness in your heart
It's the sound of one hand clapping
While it's pulling you apart
Whoa and I know - yeah, and I know
What you feel... ♪

[despite herself, her voice gains confidence, and the things that have been haunting her fade, and she remembers her strength, looking down at her hands. most of the powder burns have faded, but she knows there's less frailty in her than there would appear to be. she knows her will is still intact. that like others, it will take more than words or one bad night to stop her. or one musical number, for that matter]

♩ And I've got a longin' that's hard to find
Won't give me no peace of mind
Something that I've lived with all along
Days and weeks and months and years
Filling in the time my dear
Tryin' to find the place where I belong ♩

♩ And I got a hunger that's hard to fill
Driving me on overkill
Tellin' me that everything's gone wrong
Got me a need that I can't break
More than I can hardly take
Somehow I still keep on going strong ♩

♬ When I call your name
I'm gonna scream out loud
I'll say, here I am standing in the crowd
You'll say, come to me, with your open mind
You never know what you still might find... ♬

♪ But you keep me here like a cancelled flight
An empty train running through the night
An orphan child - a broken shoe
And I'm still down here
Lookin' out for you
Are you there for me?
'Cause I'm here for you... ♫

[she shakes her head, disgusted with herself. there are worse things she could have laid bare, by far, but this ... this one's fresh, it's still raw and literally still healing. she sits down at her desk and buries her face in her hands, completely done with this nonsense. once she's had a moment to compose herself, she speaks up, plain and sharp, as though none of that just left her lips]

I'd give someone half the jewels in the Tower if they'd bring me a bloody cup of tea about now.

Comments

[onemistress]

[She knows little of modern songs, they are not something that ever has appealed to her much the parts she has heard. But she likes the words to this one, sad as they are.]

I do not know how have access to my father's jewels... [ a h e m. Not cool, M.] ... and I know little of making tea, but I could share with you some wine?

[savethedarkness]

[w h o o p s. yeah, that's a little embarrassing. and a little jarring. she keeps forgetting that there's Actual Historical Figures in this place. she clears her throat] It's ... more an expression, in my time. We use it to show how much something would be worth. ... But yes, I'd take a good stiff drink just as easily as I would a cup of tea.

[onemistress]

[Surprise! English Nobility in the long grass! Did you bring your pokeballs?]

Well, I suppose that makes sense, His Majesty did greatly expand them. Though I shouldn't say my father's, I truly mean my sister's jewels. [But it was hard to see Mary being so grand as her father had been. So dominating. Or her brother. They were all of them, too young.]

I can come shortly, do you have a preference in taste? [something she is forgetting, hurm...] Oh! What room are you in?

[savethedarkness]

Your ... [she trails off, stunned. God, so there are others. this is getting surreal. well, there's no question now, whether she still has a duty here as the head of MI6. Britain is still represented, so she must protect the contingency. she composes herself]

I try to be flexible. Nothing too sweet, though, if it please Your Majesty. I am in [tower and room here, since mun cannot look right now, eheh].

[onemistress]

My sister, Mary Tudor, is at home in England, and sits upon the throne. [Silly people, don't you know anything.] My mother Anne Boleyn, who was also a Queen once, was here -- and you must be very kind to her, you must not speak of the terrible things to pass. She is also to be addressed as Your Majesty.

I can manage that -- oh and please, you must not call me that. I am just the Lady Elizabeth Tudor, I was stripped of any chance of such titles along time ago. [But she thinks nothing of it, because people have all had a strange inclination to call her formal greetings such as that, lately.] And it is a pleasure to meet you, my lady. I will be there shortly.

[and she fished out a bottle of wine that she knew not to be too sweet, and headed over to M's room when she was ready. Knock, knock, knocking, on her chamber door.]

[last_rat_standing]

[Well he hadn't been expecting that]

That's a steep price to pay.

[savethedarkness]

You expected me to have a little left for that tab of yours, I'm guessing. Perhaps you can bring your guitar to the lobby. We could busk it.

[her tone isn't sharp, just blunt. yes, Bond, she knows the price she's paid for Queen and Country, and will pay it again if need be. and she thought you would have guessed. she's embarrassed, sure, and tired, and at a point where she might even talk. but not like this. not where everyone can hear.]

[last_rat_standing]

Am I meant to "sing for my supper," now?

[So unenthused. But he gets where she's coming from, having recently been there himself. He may be snarking but that's not going to stop him from starting to head towards her room]

[savethedarkness]

Only if they charge for it in imaginary space money. [the roll of her eyes is almost audible. she'll wish up a decanter of bourbon and the proper accoutrements ... mostly because it's always the first thing Bond does when he invades her space: help himself to her liquor]

[last_rat_standing]

Perhaps you could simply write them an imaginary check in return.

[awww you know him too well. It takes him a few minutes to get to her room but he's soon knocking on her door]

[heal_theworld]

[Oh, look who's not commenting on the song choice? It's only polite.]

What kind of tea would you like?

[savethedarkness]

[ah, the woman from the clinic. and the kitchen. she's thankful for the tact]. Assam, if you have it on hand, and it's not too much trouble.

[heal_theworld]

[She wouldn't want anyone to know about her feelings unless she told them.] I think I have some. What's your room number?

[savethedarkness]

[she writes it carefully on the page.] There. You've two minutes, then I'm crossing it out. I'd rather not broadcast it to the world.

[heal_theworld]

I'll remember it. [It's not hard to remember a room number.] I'll be up in a few minutes.

[And true to her word, about fifteen minutes later she's knocking gently on M's door.]

Dictated & 'til later

[toobravehearted]

[Everyone has a song in their hearts. Some hide it. Some sing it.

He got off lucky.

Listening first, he then clears his throat by way of announcement.]

Not that fond of the Tower myself. How do you take it?

/waits patiently

[savethedarkness]

You say that as though you knew things from the Thomas More view than the tourist's package. ... [she clears her throat, quietly] Honey and a splash of milk, if you're offering. [and she'll give her room number]

[toobravehearted]

Ah, the Tower's reputation lingers, but no longer for Sir More. I'm The Doctor, by the way. In about ten minutes?

[He arrives at the room given, a tea tray for two balanced on one hand while he raps on the door. It remains to be seen if he is invited to partake.]

Room service, madam.

[Of course, he can read door name plates... It's probably right there in front of him. But he has manners to wait for introductions.] 

[savethedarkness]

[she opens the door just enough to look him over] You don't look like much of a Doctor. What sort, specifically?

[toobravehearted]

[Craning his head to look at her through the gap in the door, he smiles.] The tea bringing kind, apparently. You did request. May I set this down somewhere for you inside?

Written

[jimfromit]

[Hi M...it's your new fan.]

Has anybody ever mentioned you have such a lovely singing voice?

[savethedarkness]

[oh. You. .... just what she needed. she weighs her options, the damage implicit in ignorance versus response. she knows he's baiting her, that he must be taking to this like a thief to an unguarded vault. her first bit of luck lies in the fact that the song itself is meant toward a person, and not toward her country, as it struck her. maybe with care, she can lead him to the wrong assumption.]

My family often said so.

[jimfromit]

How very supportive of them.

An interesting song choice...paints the picture of such a delicate fragile soul behind such a steely front.

[He's quite glad you didn't know he sung earlier. Nothing gives away ground in a verbal sparring match quite like knowing your opponent has an occasional pop music fetish]

[savethedarkness]

Do you always judge books by their covers? [delicate, ha. the few cracks in her foundation aren't anything she'd even let him come close to touching]

[jimfromit]

Well yes.

Because I'm usually right and it's a great time saver.