Teach 247.

[onlyanapple]

[Congratulations Muggle Studies students. You have Professor A.J Crowley to teach you the finer things about the world of muggles. He has his journal open on his desk, into which he dictates into as he wheels into the classroom an old TV and an even older VCR. Sorry he's from 1990, what do you expect?]

You've got exactly three seconds to get through the doors for my class before I send something nasty after you. Just a fair warning, kids!

[That done, and his journal still open, he turns on the TV, static crackling away, 'snow' all over the screen]

Today you're going to learn the ancient muggle art of programming a VCR. You need to get the TV onto a channel, get a blank cassette into the VCR, program it to the channel you want and record five minutes of that specific program. Student who does it fastest gets ten points ot their house or something. I don't care.

[He sits on his chair, putting his feet up on his desk and pulling out a hipflask]

You kids get right on that while I sit here and drink my...butterbeer and grade your efforts.

Comments

[gottaknockhard]

[That gets a look back; he's starting to get weird with this 'sitting down' thing. Hex... is that like a curse?]

I'm sure you'd love that.

[onlyanapple]

Yeah, I love nothing more than teaching you punks.

[gottaknockhard]

[He smiles again, like that remark actually makes up for some of this.

... And then he just heads out anyway. Calling his bluff, like the punk he is.]

let me know if this is not ok!

[onlyanapple]

[Oh it is brought, little kid. Crowley pulls out his wand and gives it a swish]

Wingardium Leviosa

[Annnd Spike will find himself lifted into the air and carefully deposited on his seat]

totally okay!

[gottaknockhard]

[He actually wasn't counting on Crowley crossing that line, and as it happens he actually panics for a moment, because oh shit can't control this. And he tries to no effect.

By the time he's in the chair, he's recovered enough to be livid. Unfortunately, it's the the kind of livid where no words come out. Even at fifteen, he can give a pretty decent death glare.]

aww yeah B)

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley just smiles at him. A smile that could almost be pleasant if it wasn't so CHALLENGING]

Are we ready to learn now?

so much hate B|

[gottaknockhard]

[He's still not over it. For one, he's never really been lifted by magic before, and for another -- what the hell was that?? If he's going to get physical, punch him, don't wave your magic twig or whatever.

He's still seething when he replies.]

Learn what?

GOOD

[onlyanapple]

Muggle Studies. Do you have a problem with your hearing or something?

Terrible.

[gottaknockhard]

[The urge to take a swing at him is rising. Doesn't he know that he never learns?]

That must be it.

Re: Terrible.

[onlyanapple]

Would you like to try to program the VCR?

[His tone suggests Spike doesn't actually have a choice]

[gottaknockhard]

[It's probably too late to safe face, but he tries to curve that tantrum. Or he's just simmering with rage, who knows.

All that to force him to program a VCR.]

I can't wait.

[onlyanapple]

Good, because you get to do it now.

[Crowley points at the machine, sitting there, waiting]

Hop to it.

[gottaknockhard]

['Hop to it'.]

After all the work it took to sit down?

[onlyanapple]

I'm sure you'll live with this excessive use of your legs.

[gottaknockhard]

[If that's not an invitation to kick the professor in the jaw...

He gets up though, like he's just going to give up and do it, walking over slowly to the VCR and peering at its strange familiarity.]

What's next?

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley points at it]

You need to record a program on it.

[gottaknockhard]

[He looks back at him like this is the stupidest thing he's ever faced.]

Is that all?

[onlyanapple]

That's it. Do that and you can fuck off as much as I care.

[gottaknockhard]

[His eyes trail to where he last saw his wand. Apparently he needs that now.]

No problem.

[onlyanapple]

You enjoy the rest of your day.

[That is the least sincere tone ever]

[gottaknockhard]

Did I pass already?

[onlyanapple]

Sure, with flying colours. Lucky fucking you.

[gottaknockhard]

[Demon head game bullshit. Spike leaves the VCR untouched and takes another turn toward the door, as if he'd been waiting on permission.]

Great.

[onlyanapple]

Of course. It will probably be noted with your other teachers that you abandoned the class.

[Such beautiful head games]

[gottaknockhard]

[He can feel his eye twitching.]

You call that abandon?