paradisa | 1/003: THE PART WHERE HE TESTS YOU.

"Well, I did tell you did I not that I would contact you another time for some follow up's didn't I, love? Well, I know I didn't give you much time to recover, but that time is now! Go on, get your athletic wear, find your sweatpants, and we're going to go through something... a bit of an intense training. I hope you've been practicing! Cause, well I guess if you weren't... that's not good. Oh, well, I guess we'll just wing it then. Come on, meet me back at the staircase, wi-will ya?

Filtered to everyone else EXCEPT Maya:

[ACTION WOULD BE PREFERRED. If it's action, you'd actually see Wheatley hanging around the grand staircase, pacing back and forth, in his usual lab coat, holding a clipboard where his... Journal is opened. He looks a bit frazzled, and like he hasn't gotten sleep in days.]

"Does anyone know any quick tactics of... of proper... proper... s-social communication by any chance? Like... like how you're supposed to treat... treat people by any chance? In... common conversation?

I kinda need a quick, a quick bit of a rundown on that. Maybe, maybe a little practice? Y' know, being an AI and all, not really knowing how to be a... um... a um proper bloke is all. Not like I consider any of you humans to be proper. Just... just saying. There's there's this girl, and well... frankly I don't want to make a fool of myself. It'd be... be unfortunate if I really messed up. Not anything too grand or anything, obviously... but anything would be great."

[HEAVILY IMPLYING ASSUMPTIONS THAT ARENT THERE. FANTASTIC.
FEEL FREE TO BE AS RIDICULOUS IN YOUR RECCOMENDATIONS AS POSSIBLE.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Her face lights up and she nods so proudly.]

Yes! I'm actually a troll, but I just love cats! I even like to roleplay as a purrticularly ferocious kitty. That's why I dress up like one all the time. Isn't it cute?

[He kinda looks at her slightly worried. And then he laughs nervously to cover up his obvious concern ~~or lack there of~~ for the cat girl.]

"Ehehe....hehe... right. Cute... Absolutely precious. Anyway, going up!"

[Simply by his size, he's able to get up. Whether or not Nepeta jumped off or clinged on to the 6ft7 guy was entirely up to her. If she did, she'd probably by handing off the ground. He patted down his labcoat and laughed.]

"While I've never seen you before... you seem to remind me alot of another grey skinned creature. Dressed up in something that looked like funky red pajamas? Horns like... one of those goat things."

[She manages to land on her feet when he pushes her off of him, and straightens herself and stands upright in front of him.]

Goat things? [she thinks, thinks...] Oh! You mean Aradia! Yes, she is a troll just like me, but she has wings because she reached god tier. That's also where she got her adorable god tier clothes. She has special powers that go with it and everything.

"Special powers eh? Is- is that so?"

[He towers over the troll, stroking his chin thoughtfully.]

"What... kind of... powers, by any chance?"

[Obviously he's just super curious and wants to know for his own sake. Really, what's the harm in that?]

She can control time!

"Ti-time?"

[He looks surprised!]

"Just... time? Just like that..? What is she doing here then? Couldn't she just go back to wherever she lived.. before this castle went on and swallowed her up love?"

[He narrows his eyes comically]

"That... is... unless this castle is using some of its "magic" to stop that from happening."

[He crouches down to her level.]

"Do all of you have powers like that?"

[SO MANY QUESTIONS. She tries to answer them all at once.]

Yes, Purradisa won't let her, I am guessing it is beclaws of the magic, and yes we do! They are not all time-related but they are special.

[Of course, Nepeta's is more of a skill than a power, but she wants to seem important, too!]

"Interesting."

[He nods a few times.]

"You're all an interesting bunch, you know that? Wh-what can you do, love?"

[Are you ready for this, Wheatley? Prepare to have your mind blown.]

I am an exceptional huntress! My senses are keen, my claws are sharp, and as you just saw for yourself, I can pounce like nobody's business!

I am also an expert shipper.

[Yeahhhhhhhh!]

"Uhhh..."

[He pauses for a moment, and stares at her. Well... lets see. Hunting is good, but Wheatley has little interest in it, senses and claws.. and pouncing... ehhhh. Shipping? Shipping what's that? Maybe she knows how to steer a ship? That could be useful. But... he's never heard it put that way before....]

"Wh-what's... a shipper...?"

A shipper is one who is well versed in all things pertaining to relationships! With their keen eye for romance of all kinds, they can spot a pairing a mile away! And they know just who belongs with who, and which ships make the most sense.

[Gosh she's so proud of herself.]

[Pokerface... w-wait, what?]

"Wha-wait, what?"

[He pauses for a moment]

"So she travels time...

...

...

...

...and- and you play matchmaker."

It's a lot more complicated than it sounds! There are so many factors to consider when making pairings, you know. First, you have to determine if there is a connection between them. Then you have to see what their personalities are like, and then you have to consider which quadrant they belong in!

[He pauses. This is a field that Wheatley has NO experience in.]

"A-a connection."

[He massages his temples]

"L-love...co-"

[Still massaging his temples.]

"Love could you..."

[He cleared his throat]

"Well you see..."

[Another pause.]

"Could you tell me...how I could, well go and-and gain the trust of a female human?"

[He paused again, adjusting his glasses.]

[And then her eyes widen, as if he's just said the most important thing he could ever say in his entire life.

And she smiles.]

Is there someone you liiiiiiiiiiiike?

[He adjusts his tie and his glasses a million times.]

"Huh... Uh, oh... um well... you see it's- uh...something like that-"

[He suddenly stops, and looks at her again.]

"I prefer her over...all of the- the other females, yes."

I can help you out! Who is it? [She doesn't NEED the name, but it would be handy to know so she can update that shipping wall of hers...]

"W-what? I- well, If you're looking for her name..."

[He cleared his throat. All dramatic like. Too bad he didnt have a drum roll.]

"Her name? It's...It's Maya Fey, love."

She is very fortunate, then! You seem like a very nice mate!

Okay. First things first. What do you know about her? What kind of things does she like?

[He scratches the back of his head, sounding a bit embarressed.]

"Y-you mean that love? Oh, well of course you do but... hehe, that's ha...I guess I wasn't expecting that, that-that... that's really nice of you. It's true, of course but- you know, well I-"

[Awww he's flattered.]

"Oh...What-what do I know? A few things. she loves loads of things. Well, help-helping people for one. She's crazy about that. He-helping people feel better about themselves and getting closure. She also seems to enjoy uh... t-talking to the dead? And- and adventure, oh there's loads of things. It's fortunate too. She doesn't experience nearly as much adventure when she's not with me, so she's... probably pretty impressed with that... but-"

[He suddenly looks back at her.]

"Will this help with anything? Knowledge is power I know, but..."

1/003: THE PART WHERE HE TESTS YOU.

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[Sorry about such a late reply... I don't know how I forgot about this tag...]

no worries!

Re: no worries!

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WHY IS THIS SO LATE,

YOU TELL ME no just kidding you're wonderful

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