Dictated - Bow Chicka Back Back

[babyaliendaddy]

[There is the sound of tearing. Angry, angry tearing, and a lot of cursing that is not appropriate for small children. Literally, the foulest language possible said as quickly as possible, with as much violence as possible.]

MOTHERFUCKINGDICKFACESONNOVABITCHBASTARDFUCKINGFUCKERSWHOGOTFUCKED!

[And another bang. And an angry huff.]

...whoever put me in the fucking baby bonnet, CHURCH, better start running now. I'm about to get all FREELANCER up on your bitchy ass.

Comments

[hatesgoodbyes]

[Laughter, lots and lots of laughter.]

I so owe him twenty bucks.

[babyaliendaddy]

If I could kick your ass, I would so be Kicking Your Ass, Tex.

[hatesgoodbyes]

If you could kick my ass it would be some fucked up alternate reality backward universe.

[babyaliendaddy]

No kidding. In that Universe Church wouldn't be an asshole and you wouldn't be a total bitch, so we all know that's impossible.

[putuporshutup]

[Well, this is alarming. Her voice is cautious, and much more serious than he's ever heard it before.]

Tucker, do you... require assistance?

[babyaliendaddy]

Bitches about to be stabbed, Meg.

Stabbed.

In the face.

[putuporshutup]

[She tilts her head to the side, genuinely confused and a little worried.]

Why would you want to stab a female dog in the face?

[babyaliendaddy]

[.... what the fucking fuck is this?]

I ... ah ... what are you talking about?

[originalcopy]

Oh hey Tucker... [overly friendly and on the verge of laughing] Welcome back.

[babyaliendaddy]

Stand exactly where you are and don't move until I get there. So I can kick your ass.

[originalcopy]

Aww, someone woke up grumpy. [snerk]

[i_got_this]

Where the fuck have you been?

[Yeah though she's not at the level of Fucked Up when you disappeared, Tucker, she's certainly not having a good time of it now.]

[babyaliendaddy]

...I was like, a fucking doll for three weeks, apparently.

[Woah shit. Better diffuse this bomb.]

[i_got_this]

Isn't that convenient. Everyone's dropping like flies and you just get to faff about as a Barbie for a month.

[whistles_the_blues]

The only way it would be more fitting is if Church were wearing it instead.

[babyaliendaddy]

Don't think he won't, dude.

[whistles_the_blues]

Well, maybe there is some hope for this place.

[silentrunning]

[Tiny little kid voice.]

Those ain't nice words... And it's the Castle, not Church.

[babyaliendaddy]

Oh, it's a little bit of both, kid.

[silentrunning]

Oh. Okie-dokey then. What'd it do to you? Maybe you should have some fun! Go trick-or-treating! I'd trick-or-treat with you!

[There's the sound of skipping...]

[voice] Congrats, Tucker you just scarred a 12-year-old girl.

[snowpointvictor]

[It's like a car crash almost, you just don't know how to look away or in Zoey's case ignore the sounds of very loud and angry cursing.]

It was the castle that did this, not this 'Church' person. You're not the first person this happened to.

... Also, can you tone fdown the swearing a little?

Re: [voice] Congrats, Tucker you just scarred a 12-year-old girl.

[babyaliendaddy]

The Castle did not put me in a baby bonnet. Church put me in a fucking bonnet.

...Ffft, what are you, the Doctor?

[sworn]

[She was wondering how long it would be between outbursts from this one.]

Language. [It's said in a short, reprimanding tone. C'mon, there are children in the castle!]

[babyaliendaddy]

[And now you have a angry grumble.]

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? That's what you're going to growl at me!?

[sworn]

[It wasn't necessary!]

Would you prefer that I "growl" at you for something else?