paradisa | (no subject)

[So, he'll start off writing...]

this is actually fuckin ridiculous yet in a wway completely an utterly hilarious
youre all just freakin out cause the sun didnt rise an the lights arent wworkin
oh boo hoo our precious ball a lights gone an abandoned us
wwhale tough fuckin luck to evveryone wwho relies on a ball a plasma an magnetic fields so much they cant handle it wwhen it doesnt brighten up their day
im perfectly comfortable in this kinda envvironment thats wwhat they call superior genetic evvolution or somethin

[But wait, what's that noise? It almost sounds like it's nearby. As he speaks, the journal makes sure everyone can hear him.]

Wwhat the fuck is that?

[It's almost like...]

Uh...

[A really familiar sound...]

...

[...dead silence, everyone...]

OH GOD NO!!

[Of course it's all just castle induced paranoia, but he was sure he just heard the sound of a chainsaw revving in the distance. In a panic he's flipped his table, which the journal was sitting on, and shrieked in a pretty high pitched tone of voice.

Also if by some chance you're going to check up on him, he's cowering on the floor. Happy friday the 13th y'all.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, certainly. I've ingrained the habit so far into my mannerisms that I have even begun to dream in scathing, sarcastic remarks.

[She's doing an excellent job of hiding the fact that she's on the verge of bursting out laughing.]

Wwhat the absolute fuck.

This is startin' to sound like some kinda mental illness.

Oh quite! I wouldn't dream of wishing it on anybody.

Wwell sucks to be you then.

Guess it's just another sign a' trolls havvin' the edge ovver you humans, not succumbin' to stupid diseases like that an' wwhat havve you.

Trolls don't have diseases?

[Oops she's kind of vaguely interested to know if that was just baseless bragging or not.]

Wwhat, no, a course wwe do it's just that our illnesses aren't fuckin' stupid.

After all it takes a real fuckin' tool of a race to mistake friendship for somethin' other than a sickness.

Hint hint you guys.

So god knows wwhat other fuckin' mistakes you'vve already made.

You're right, our immune systems simply cannot resist the draw of pleasant companionship. Now excuse me, I believe I'm a few months late for my yearly vaccine.