paradisa | (no subject)

[So, he'll start off writing...]

this is actually fuckin ridiculous yet in a wway completely an utterly hilarious
youre all just freakin out cause the sun didnt rise an the lights arent wworkin
oh boo hoo our precious ball a lights gone an abandoned us
wwhale tough fuckin luck to evveryone wwho relies on a ball a plasma an magnetic fields so much they cant handle it wwhen it doesnt brighten up their day
im perfectly comfortable in this kinda envvironment thats wwhat they call superior genetic evvolution or somethin

[But wait, what's that noise? It almost sounds like it's nearby. As he speaks, the journal makes sure everyone can hear him.]

Wwhat the fuck is that?

[It's almost like...]

Uh...

[A really familiar sound...]

...

[...dead silence, everyone...]

OH GOD NO!!

[Of course it's all just castle induced paranoia, but he was sure he just heard the sound of a chainsaw revving in the distance. In a panic he's flipped his table, which the journal was sitting on, and shrieked in a pretty high pitched tone of voice.

Also if by some chance you're going to check up on him, he's cowering on the floor. Happy friday the 13th y'all.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

An' yet evveryone fuckin' chooses to believve in the fuckin' poster boy a doom an' failure ovver the damned nobility a' hope ovver here.

Funny howw life wworks.

By wwhich I mean hilarious howw fuckin' stupid the trolls wwe knoww are.

Funny how I've never backthtabbed my friendsth and went on a killing thpree of my own free will before.

Oh my god, here wwe fuckin' go. Howw the fuck did I knoww you'd bring this up?

Evverythin' followwin' me completely wwreckin' your shit wwasn't...

[Ugh, he'll trail off a little here for a second.]

...it wwasn't meant to happen.

An' spare me your THATH NO EXUTH...howwevver the fuck you wwould say it I don't knoww.

Oh well fuck, everything'th totally forgiven then! You didn't MEAN TO SHOOT MY FRIEND AND MY MATETHPRIT THROUGH THE CHEST AND KILL THEM BOTH. Of courthe, totally forgivable! Ha ha-- NO. You'll never be forgiven for that but you could at leatht have the decency to admit you fucked up like the goddamn uthelessth thack of shit you are!!

Oh and a' course you say it anywway! Fantastic, really, your ability to piss me off is actually commendable Sol you just pull it off so fuckin' easily.

Howw about I go ovver there right noww an' givve YOU somethin' to be sorry about!?

[Wait, wait, wait, calm down. Well, try to anyway.

He'd had a long and arduous talk with someone about this very thing. About this whole killing everyone situation.]

[It was something about calming the fuck down and being true to yourself or whatever the fuck. Man you need to listen when people give advice.

Eitherway although you were hesitant considering Sollux will probably never get off your back about everything even if you do own up to it, but it was worth a shot.

You can at least score points with Kanji by telling him you actually humbled yourself, leaving out how incredibly goddamned bitter you were about it.]

[Well, here goes nothing!]

Fine.

I fucked up. I completely an' utterly fucked up an' murdered twwo trolls wwho didn't deservve havvin' that done to him.

I lost my fuckin' temper an' took it out on Kan an' the princess, an' assumin' evverythin' is true she musta been pretty fuckin important to me if the castle made me forget about her. If that's wwhat wwas most precious to me.

I screwwed the fuck up big time. Maybe I evven deservved wwhat the fuck happened to me.

Is that wwhat you wwanna hear Sol? Wwill you at least stop fuckin' mentionin' it? I don't exactly like bein' fuckin' reminded a' wwhat happened despite wwhatevver the fuck you think a' me.