the_effect_she_has[Katniss has been silent for a good six days from the time of nightmares. Curled up in a corner of her room, her journal closed and her eyes shut tight, she had been trying to drag herself back from the edge of insanity, from the edge of bad dreams. She slept, poorly, and ate what little she had in her room, but nothing more. All she could see was a series of deaths - hers and others - going forward in a bloody string...
And every time it started again, she would start the mantra.
I am Katniss Everdeen. I am seventeen years old. I have only fought in two Hunger Games. Peeta is not dead. Gale is not dead. Rue is not dead. Cinna is not dead... through all her friends and those she met only once, again and again, before she would whisper, I am not dead. I am not dead.
Her voice was hoarse, by the sixth day, because sometimes she had screamed it.]
[On the sixth day though, she turned on her radio and leaned her head against the cool stone of the wall, listening to music. She stretched out her legs, her arms, and sighed softly as she sang.]
[And as she did, the journal flipped open.]
Some nights I stay in cashing in my bad luck,
Some nights I call it a draw,
Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle
Some nights, I wish they'd just fall off
But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights, I don't know anymore...
oh woah, oh woah, oh woah oh oh...
[She trailed off, and rubbed a hand over her face, before she breathed in deeply and pushed herself to her feet unsteadily.]
Time to be real again, Everdeen.