☠ 042

[molotov]

[So, ever since she started talking an acting like a normal person again, Molotov has had a problem.

A 6'8", 250 lb, blond Swedish problem.

Namely, that he won't leave her alone. It wasn't even this bad during their honeymoon. Molotov has crap to do, she can't deal with this 24/7!

But... she doesn't really want to admit to this problem. Or that she doesn't really know enough about sex to actually deal with this issue in a normal way (as opposed to... you know, castration).

So she sends out an anonymous, written, filtered question.]


[Filtered away from anyone under the age of 18]

Is there any way to damper a man's libido (excluding saltpeter)? Is it a medical condition for a man to be in a perpetual state of arousal? A doctor's input would be especially valuable for this situation, but suggestions are welcome.

Comments

Filter

[assassino]

[laughs]

Satisfy him.

written!

[iamdamnloyal]

Have you tried crying? I'm pretty sure that a guy can't get aroused around crying women.

Filter always! also written because EMBARRASSING

[molotov]

Insatiability is an issue here.

FOREVER

[molotov]

I do not have anything to cry about.

filter & dictated forever

[echivoc]

Dress in the most unattractive way possible. Look like a slob, pretty much, unless your down-to-earth appearance is what he likes more...

:')

[assassino]

Tarnish your good looks, then. Perhaps his attention will wander elsewhere.

[He's joking... possibly...]

Barring that, give him opium. It is not worth the effort after one has consumed opium –– it is difficult to start, or practically impossible to finish.

[iamdamnloyal]

You could try to fake it.

Watch some sad movies.

Or, maybe you could get him to work out more. Like a lot more. I hear that working out can decrease testosterone levels which totally will reduce his... drive.

filtered but written forever

[molotov]

[Molotov considers this.]

It could be worth a try. But he has never before shown any decrease in desire when I am not looking my best.

[molotov]

Well, that isn't exactly what I want.

And I am not giving him opium! I don't need him to be a drug addict on top of everything else.

[molotov]

Does that work if he already works out every day?

[Or... well, he's supposed to be working out every day.]

[echivoc]

Then make yourself up to be older than you look.

[assassino]

I have used it plenty and have not become terribly addicted to it. [Cavalier as fuck.] It is used very often in my time, though it would be best if he used it in moderation...

[iamdamnloyal]

[She's got her medical books from the library now!]

Get him to ride a bike! I mean, this study says: "Pressure on the penis from long periods of bicycle riding can cause nerve compression, reduced blood flow to the penis and temporary erectile dysfunction, according to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center."

Which sounds totally true. I mean, bicycle seats are really not comfortable at all.

[molotov]

[Molotov doesn't know how to do that. Look, she's aware that, as a Russian woman, she will one day morph into a tiny babushka overnight, but she has no idea how to speed that process up.]

Do you have any specific suggestions for that?

[molotov]

[EZIO. She takes a moment to give her own journal a silent, disdainful look, like that might somehow transmit itself.]

Isn't opium smoked? I don't think I could convince him to smoke opium.

[molotov]

I don't want his penis damaged! It needs to be intact and functional, just... more like two or three times a day, instead of ten or eleven.

And that doesn't even stop all the other things.

written & filtered

[20thcentury]

Tell him to fuck off. Usually works.

written & filtered forever~

[molotov]

That is one thing that I can absolutely guarantee will not work.

[assassino]

[Clueless.]

Most often, yes, but it is available as a liquid as well. I do not smoke it.

Do not tell the doctors here, though, if you use it. It upsets them.

[iamdamnloyal]

[Briefly dictated, because sorry...] Oh.

[AND BACK TO WRITING.]

Maybe you should suggest ways to build up the anticipation.

Take a trip!

[Dictated again....] OH! Oh!

[Written again....] Hide somewhere and blame the castle. I mean, it's not like the castle wouldn't do that.

yesss

[20thcentury]

Have you tried punching as well?

[molotov]

If doctors would be upset, then it seems like that's probably something too dangerous to be drugging people with.

[echivoc]

Costume makeup. Or, maybe the castle will be nice and turn you into an old person for a week or more.

[assassino]

Well, what do they know, really? I have never gotten addicted or been harmed by it.

[molotov]

That is... not a terrible idea, actually. Hiding.