07 | down the river with a butz | action&dictated

[thebutz]

So I'm sitting in a canoe but I don't know how to canoe.

This was a really stupid idea.

[If you go to the river, you might find him sitting in a boat with a paddle across his lap and his soaking wet journal on the floor of the boat in front of him, pouting. Because clearly it's very difficult to canoe.]

Can anyone come rescue me? I seriously don't think I'm gonna make it back to be honest with you. I'm getting sort of worried here...

Comments

[thebutz]

I didn't forget! You jerk!

[He throws the journal across the lake, as if this will solve everything. It sinks. More water seeps through its pages.]

...damn it!

[whichwayyoulean]

[That sure is a lot of water.

And that sure is a lot of laughing on the Once-ler's end]

[thebutz]

[He retrieves the journal from the shallows where it landed and steps out on shore.]

Look what you made me do now!

[As he's shaking the journal to try and dry it off.]

[whichwayyoulean]

Yep. Sorry, forgot to mention I had the ability to make stupid people descend into deeper levels of stupidity.

[thebutz]

You... You...

[sniff]

I HATE YOU!!! You're such a big jerk and it's like you TRY to search me out just to make me feel like crap! Why do you keep doing this?

[Now you've done it... He's crying.]

[whichwayyoulean]

Trust me, I have better things to do with my time than thinking of ways to make you miserable. You can do that all by yourself.

[thebutz]

Then why don't you just leave me alone already?

[whichwayyoulean]

Hey, you spoke publicly over the journal. It's not like I hunted you down.

[thebutz]

Yeah, except for the part where there are probably a hundred other people talking right now too...

[whichwayyoulean]

And yet your stupidity shined through.

[thebutz]

Ugh... Why don't you just leave me alone already??

[whichwayyoulean]

[He's silent for a long, long, long time]






Is this enough?

[thebutz]

No, I meant FOREVER. Leave me alone forever!

[whichwayyoulean]

I don't know, buddy. Forever is a long long time. I might forget.

[thebutz]

Why do you want to bother me so badly...?

[whichwayyoulean]

Boredom, mostly.

[thebutz]

Get a real hobby then...

[whichwayyoulean]

I have a real hobby, this is just a side thing.

[thebutz]

So what's your real hobby then? Getting off to pictures of muscular men?

[He can't think of a decent insult but he's trying...]

[whichwayyoulean]

...Where did you even get that idea from?

I'm an inventor.

there are too many elipses in this post

[thebutz]

Oh, um... That's pretty cool actually...

What do you invent...?

[Curiosity is getting the best of him...]

they are beautiful things!

[whichwayyoulean]

All kinds of things. I guess my most successful invention was the Thneed.

[thebutz]

What's that?

[He's sitting by a tree now, sniffing as he wipes the tears off his face. Such a manly man he is. The manliest.]

[whichwayyoulean]

[So manly]

It's a Fine Something that Everyone Needs. It can be pretty much anything you want it to be.

[thebutz]

Oh hey, that's pretty cool... I kinda want to see it sometime. What do you say?