003

[azuredemonic]

I have lobsters taped to my wrists.

[And now you can hear them, snapping about, clicking...making other lobster sounds. And Vergil is just silent as the grave for the longest time. And when he talks again, it's two parts baffled, two parts concerned, one part unamused and one part disturbed]

Why do I have lobsters taped to my wrists?

[SNAP! Yup, one got his nose. And despite fighting demons, regularly getting thrashed, regenerating from beatings and all other kinds of things, it hurts like a bitch. So there's quiet. And then a breath being sucked in slowly. And then=]

AAARH! GET OFF!

[Tug tug TUUUUUUUG stumble trip crash SNAP]

DAMN YOU, don't you start!

[Scrambling up, pulling, stumbling forward again, and the book gets knocked to the floor and shut in the process]

[ooc: Loss start]

Comments

[cantacquityou]

That bad, hm?

[azuredemonic]

There is a live and angry lobster taped to each of my hands attacking everything that comes within reach. Yes, that bad.

[cantacquityou]

What have you attempted so far?

[azuredemonic]

Does not getting various parts pinched count as an attempted thing?

[cantacquityou]

Not much, I see. Perhaps I can attempt to offer some assistance?

[azuredemonic]

On the condition that there will be no puns.

[cantacquityou]

...? Not intentionally...

[azuredemonic]

I suppose that is as good as I can expect to get, all things considered.

[cantacquityou]

Where are you located?

[azuredemonic]

Fifth floor. Room seventeen. Name reads Vergil. The door is unlocked, I'm not going to bother trying it right now. Bring tape. Bring lots of tape.

[cantacquityou]

What kind?

[azuredemonic]

Whichever kind comes in bountiful amounts. Duct tape or the like.

[cantacquityou]

I will be there shortly.


[...And he will. Because he does. Less than two minutes later. Being on the same floor has its advantages. He eases in slowly. He has five rolls of duct tape with him.

...He surveys the situation.]


...I am simply at a loss on how comment on this.

[azuredemonic]

[He offers nothing more, as Vergil sits quietly in his chair, hands held out and away from himself and anything that could be grabbed, looking rather unamused to say the least]

I understand the feeling.

[cantacquityou]

What exactly do you plan to do with so much tape?

[azuredemonic]

I am unable to simply cut them loose, or utterly destroy them. The alternative is to tape their claws. And then tape them up entirely. Twice over. Just to be absolutely certain.

[cantacquityou]

What prevents you from cutting them loose or killing them? Is the tape indestructible?

[azuredemonic]

I will admit, with my hands predisposed in such a manner, I have been unable to attempt it. I was not able to kill them either, though not for lack of trying. I imagine this to be part of the experience.

[cantacquityou]

...


Well, I suppose we could attempt to tape the claws then cut the tape.

...Or attempting to put them to sleep remains an option, as well.

[azuredemonic]

[He's just going to hold out one of the snapping, angry shellfish towards him]

By all means, try and put it to sleep.

[cantacquityou]

...It's exceedingly aggressive.

[tries to test the waters by poking at its general direction with a yardstick.]

[azuredemonic]

[It's gonna snap at that yardstick like it's made of ninjas and he's chuck norris]

Yes, I gathered from several incidents up to this point.