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ezio auditore da firenze

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[Ezio is about to bust out the most intense filter work of his life. He has never done a complicated filter before, and he needs to do this right.]

----- Inventors, technology experts, mechanics, but barring those who seek power -----

[he clears his throat, then in that thick Italian accent:]

Hello... my name is Ezio Auditore, and I seek an inventor or mechanic or... esperto of some kind. I have obtained an object of great importance, but I do not know what it does, or what it is capable of.

But I need someone I can trust, someone with the right... sensitivities for this object.

-----Historians and Religious people, barring Lucrezia Borgia -----

[Still more thick Italian accent:]

I seek information about Pope Alexander VI.

-----

[And, with that done, you can find him in the kitchen, contemplating the microwave.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No... he means to use it to open something called the Vault. Something about a Prophet and a "Floating City"? I do not know what any of it means, but he has killed many people to get there. That canaglia speaks in rhymes.

That...makes bugger all sense to me, too, to be honest. That said, Hell doesn't really like me being involved in their big plans all that much. Kind of an outcast. So they could have been keeping that little tidbit from me.

Perhaps I should go back to Aziraphale for that, then...

So what have you done since that thing in the Bible? If you don't mind me asking, that is.

Probably best, he knows the Good Book and all that's in it more than I do.

Mostly the same, tempting. Injecting a little bit of sin into the world, balancing it out with the good.

[Laughs, despite himself.]

Is it you causing all the trouble in the red light districts, then?

As much as I'd like to take credit for it, humans can be smutty all by themselves. They don't need my help.

It's a shame the church does not understand that.

Ah the church. They like to put everything in a holier-than-thou light. Not even most of the angels like that bollocks.

So I should tell Borgia to go fuck himself?

I think I would buy popcorn for that.

Alright, then. I'll make it happen, somehow.

[Crowley makes an amused sound]

Oh, I like you. [If this is a good or a bad thing is really hard to tell with his tone]

[Also amused. Who knew talking to the Serpent of Eden would be like this?]

Is that good or bad?

[And he does indeed go on to tell the pope to go fuck himself.]

Edited 2012-01-17 19:43 (UTC)

That depends on how comfortable you are with a demon at your back.

[And that is why they'll be friends forever]

I don't know, do you actually look like a demon?

Not usually, no. That sort of thing gets in the way of tempting a lot. Better to have a pretty package on it.

But being a serpent apparently did not.

Well, that was the first woman. Before...you know, all that enmity thing kicked off. Adam and Eve were more open to talking animals than people were afterwards.

I suppose that is true.

[Don't ask if Eve was hot, don't ask if Eve was hot, don't ask if Eve was hot...]

Did Eden look as it does in the paintings done in my time?

[You know you want to ask that question, Ezio, you KNOW you do]

Not...really. There's a painting down in the clinic here in the castle. Apparently when I was last here, I helped get it done. That's the closest I've ever seen someone come to capturing Eden.

I haven't seen it yet, though I have been meaning to see the clinic... [Stupid modern American girls and their paranoia :'(]

So what does a woman made from a rib look like?

It's worth a look.

[Crowley chuckles] If you're asking if she was a
looker, she was. After all, the Big Guy put a bit more thought into her after making Adam. He could... perfect the human design, as it were.

I've met many perfect women –– the same women artists like Botticelli use as muses for their art. It's hard to imagine a better perfection.

Well, there won't be. After all after Eve genetics came into play and everything after her was a rather sad follow on. Not that there aren't perfect women out there, I've met more than my fair share.

Eve was just their prototype. The first and original design.

[Which is hilarious, given that Ezio is a descendant of Eve. Not that he knows that.

Ezio laughs.]

The first, but not the last! I like that.