✿ Two Slices of Cheesecake ♐

[holycraponacracker]

Okay, this is ridiculous. I’ve been begging people to put my shoes on for me, and usually I’m unsuccessful because that sounds really creepy.

I guess this is my loss thingy. Anyway, I need someone to do me a huge favor. I need a not creepy person to volunteer to put my shoes on for me. Please! Pretty please! I feel really stupid walking around with bare feet. Plus, shoes are so cute.

Maybe if multiple people volunteer, I could rotate people! Yeah! I could set up a shoe schedule.

[She writes the following, editing it as people volunteer]

Monday
Name

Tuesday
Name

Wednesday
Name

Thursday
Name

Friday
Name

Saturday
Name

Sunday
Name

[And then she starts talking again.]

Right. And then you’d be on shoe call, like a doctor or something. See? This isn’t so bad.

[She’ll then be exploring the town, window shopping, and eating.]

Comments

[heloise]

[ Lucrezia tried not to laugh, really, she tried, but this is too funny. ]

We could perhaps work out an arrangement.

[holycraponacracker]

Oh my god, Lucrezia! This is so annoying. Ugh. I finally got some guy to put my shoes on yesterday and he gave me a creepy smile while he was doing it.

Will you help?

[heloise]

[ She's so amused that she won't even reprimand her for taking the Lord's name in vain, etc. ]

You could help me dress and I can help with your shoes.

[holycraponacracker]

That sounds fair, I guess. Is dressing your loss?

[She hasn't seen you yet, Lulu. She doesn't know the kind of dresses you wear.]

[heloise]

No. [ She chuckles. ] I would prefer a more personable companion to help dress me, however.

[holycraponacracker]

Ohhhh wait wait wait! You're from, like, the olden days or something right? Just guessing by the way you talk. It's so pretty. But I could totally do that. I bet you wear the prettiest dresses.

[heloise]

[ Lucrezia laughs. ] Perhaps. It was 1493 when I left.

And you are welcome to borrow my dresses, Penny.

[holycraponacracker]

Wow! That's a long time ago!

...Wait, really? Like no joke?

[heloise]

If you name your favorite color, Penny, I should give you one instead.

Written

[ruined_jaw]

[By now, Penny should be familiar enough with Jono's untidy handwriting as it appears on the page.]

Your loss is that you can't put on shoes? I've heard of stranger, but that's right up there. Feet aren't really my thing, so you're in no danger of me getting creepy on you. I'm willing to help, seeing as how I've little else to do.

Dictated

[holycraponacracker]

Yessss thank you, thank you, Jonothan. I'll let you know what days you are eventually. People are so nice to help me.

Written

[ruined_jaw]

Not a problem. I know how bothersome these losses can be, particularly those that affect us physically, so it's really all we can do to help each other out with them, you know?

[holycraponacracker]

Exactly! Everyone should just try to help each other out. Especially when we're cooped up in such a kooky castle.

[ruined_jaw]

Well, some people get a little caught up in their own personal dramas here. I tend to avoid such things, keep my list of people I associate with to a minimum. I try to help out when I can, obviously, but not many people will trust a bloke with half his face missing, who's voice is typically in their head.

[knock_knock]

[Can't put on shoes...makes him wonder if his own loss is something insignificant that he hasn't noticed yet. hint: it isnt.]

Are you quite sure that this is not a temporary loss, mate?

[holycraponacracker]

A temporary loss? Well, it's been going on ever since I got here. I don't think it's temporary unless the castle decided to be a turd-licker and put me on one right away.

dictated

[ino]

You've been begging people to put your shoes on for you?

dictated

[holycraponacracker]

.........Yes. Oh my god, I sound insane.

[ino]

A little bit. [... she'll sound a little more sympathetic now, though] Losses have a way of making people think you've lost it, though.

[holycraponacracker]

I just don't like going around with my bare feet. My feet get dirty and I step on things... oh my god. I can never go shoe shopping again.

[ino]

Well, yeah, it's kind of weird to walk around with no shoes in a place like this anyways. [a pause] You mean you don't let the person at the store put the shoes on for you?

[foolreversed]

Wait, that's seriously your loss?

[he'd never heard of something like that before]

[holycraponacracker]

Yes, go ahead and laugh.

[foolreversed]

[he would normally except it's just SO STRANGE TO HIM SHOES REALLY???]

That's the strangest one I've heard yet.

[holycraponacracker]

Well, whoopee, good job, Penny!

Sorry, I don't mean to be crabby. I'm Penny.

[foolreversed]

It's fine- people get like that when they discover their loss. Just be glad I guess it wasn't something that actually messes with your brain or anything like that.

My name's Adachi.

Dictated forever

[whichwayyoulean]

...

You win the weirdest loss award. Congratulations.

dictated forever back!

[holycraponacracker]

....Hello, darling Twicey! So glad you answered!

[Yes, she wants you on shoe duty. Run.]

[whichwayyoulean]

...

Well that doesn't sound concerning at all.

[holycraponacracker]

I just need a teensy-weensy little favor, sweetie.

[whichwayyoulean]

Liiiiike?

[Oh wait. OH WAIT]

Okay, first off, I'm on a super-fun expedition right now, so I'm not even in the castle. And secondly?

No. Just no.

[holycraponacracker]

Awww come on, Twicey! Friends help friends, it's a rule.

[whichwayyoulean]

Besides, I don't leave my room. Like ever.

[nyuspecies]

[ Nyu likes to be helpful. She can't read the writing, though. ]

Nyu!

[holycraponacracker]

Nyu?