Eleven Truffula Trees

[whichwayyoulean]

[As the boats make their way back up the windy jungle river, the Once-ler takes this time to dictate into journal. Mostly to try to not pay attention to the fact they're on a large body of water. Again]

Day fifteen of unwilling capture.

We're back on the river of doom and heading back to the castle of even-larger-doom. Note to me: get a better security system to stop this from happening ever again. Seriously. Whoever said this would be fun and good for me clearly have me wrong. I don't find giant birds of death fun at all. They're not even slightly giggle-worthy.

Oh, and while we're on the subject. Quick poll for the people back in the castle. When you hear weird bird sounds in a jungle you've just landed at, do you mimic those sounds and so attract the attention of whatever is making those sounds so they come and make 'friends' with you?

If you answered 'no', then congratulations, you're not completely insane, which is more than can be said for some people who won't be named here.

...

His name rhymes with proud.

Comments

[kalinda]

What kind of person goes out into the wilderness without a knife?

[whichwayyoulean]

The kind who gets kidnapped with only ten minutes to pack his things.

[kalinda]

Your friends must really hate you if they don't let you arm yourself.

[whichwayyoulean]

They decided they were going to keep me safe themselves. They're all ninjas and pixie-whatevers and ...whatever the heck the Doc is.

[kalinda]

[She means this in the nicest way possible!]

You would think that would make you a liability.

[whichwayyoulean]

Yes! Exactly! See, that's what I told them.

[kalinda]

No respect for boundaries. I see.

[whichwayyoulean]

Not even when I make them with booby traps.

[kalinda]

Now I have to ask. Is this complaining more of the "bad family trip" sort where you're stuck in a dysfunctional car for hours, or...

[whichwayyoulean]

Oh no, there were legitimately giant birds of doom.

[kalinda]

I most certainly believe you about that. [Pause.] I meant in regards to your company.

[whichwayyoulean]

Oh. Right.

Yeah. I guess they are sort of like family. In a really weird, annoying kind of way.

[kalinda]

That's good. [A very brief pause, and then something of a vague chuckle.] I was beginning to think I'd have to have some strong words with people skirting the rules of consent.

[whichwayyoulean]

You could try, but I don't think they'd listen. They're all Blaze of Glory types, y'know?

[kalinda]

That's never stopped me before.

[whichwayyoulean]

Really? Well, hey if you want to try to explain to them that kidnapping me isn't cool, you go right on ahead. If you get them to listen to you, I'll bake you a cake.

[kalinda]

Do you personally feel victimized?

[whichwayyoulean]

'Victimised' is such a strong term. I prefer 'perpetually bothered'.

[kalinda]

Ah, so a non-issue, then. [If a grin could be transcribed...] Admittedly, I would do the same to a friend of mine-- though to a much more subtle degree.

[whichwayyoulean]

These guys wouldn't know subtle if it came up and bit their faces off.

[kalinda]

If said friends continue venturing out into the unknown, I'm sure some sort of face biting will happen.

[whichwayyoulean]

That's what I keep telling them, and I really don't want it to end up being my face while they're busy adventuring.

[kalinda]

Do you know how to defend yourself?

[whichwayyoulean]

Do I come across as the sort of guy who knows how to defend himself?

[kalinda]

You need to learn.