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damon salvatore

002 ♔ dictated;

[After Damon's back from his ~~incessant whining and complaining~~ magical adventures as a pony, Damon cracks open that journal.]

I was under the distinct impression this place was more like Saw less Little Shop of Horrors. Then again, you guys told me there weren't any fairies and look at what showed up just days later.

You guys really aren't trying very hard to build some trust here, are you?

Anyway, all I need to know - the alcohol been replenished yet?

[He could do with a stiff drink after that.]

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I know. If I was any more selfless, I think the Dalai Lama would be considering retiring early.

Only that wouldn't happen. Ever. And I think if you of all people replaced the Dalai Lama, the word 'hope' would cease to exists as we know it.

Wow, you're coming out claws flying this time, aren't you?

Still big on the whole complaining thing, I see.

I haven't been complaining. I just asked a simple question.

If that's the case then I'd hate to see you when the claws are actually out. I figured you'd be use to people losing hope with you around.

Sorry, I must be having a massive case of amnesia again. What did I do to you recently?

I'm sorry, do the words "vampire," and "slayer," not mean anything to you?

Does "massive" and "bitch" mean anything to you?

Are we complaining again? Or is just another one of your redundant questions?

Yeah, I'm just gonna go ahead and call this one.

2-0 - Vampire wins yet again.

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