⊕ .029 caliber

[neverplays]

I have questions about weddings.

I need to know these things.

[Mindy will write them down, her writing is mostly printing and it's trying to be very neat.]

1. What do you wear at a wedding?

2. Do I have to get them a present?

3. Should I know anything else about weddings?

Comments

[neverplays]

[Boys are confusing.]

Whatever. [She's not even going to try and figure out what he meant with that one.]

Why do all these movies have Wedding in the title? Can't they get creative? Betsy's Wedding. Muriel's Wedding. Four Weddings and a Funeral... I wonder if there are zombies in that one.

[heirdom]

[Look, these past few months have been so unbelievably shitty, he is suddenly all for meaningful friendships :(]

It's so stupid women don't have to try to read the plot summary.

Why is there a funeral?

[neverplays]

I'm hoping that it's because there are zombies that show up to one of these four weddings.

[la la la, looking at the pictures on the back of the box.]

I mean, one in four? Those are pretty good odds.

[heirdom]

[Considering pause.]

It doesn't have to be zombies, though. It could be a psychopath, or an escaped criminal, or a revenge plot that kills everyone.

[neverplays]

[So far the back of the box doesn't have any dismembered people.]

Huh. It's only one funeral... so maybe only one person dies. I'd go with revenge plot.

[heirdom]

The groom was a philanderer, maybe.

[neverplays]

Makes sense. Four weddings... one guy.

[heirdom]

He probably deserved it.

[neverplays]

I hope it's a closed casket.

[heirdom]

I don't. Then you could see just how badly they beat him up.

[neverplays]

Four Weddings and a bear mauling. Now that would be a movie.

[heirdom]

Bears are pretty predictable, though. Why not a badger, or a wolverine?

[neverplays]

Oh yeah. [Plus, Mol has that bear reserve... probably not very good for the image of bears.]

Mongoose.

[heirdom]

An exceptionally large one, trained in fighting rings but set loose.

[neverplays]

With babies back home so there can be Six Weddings and a Mongoose Attack Two: Missing Momma Drama.

[laughs]

[heirdom]

Now we just need to work in a drug trafficking ring and human smugglers.

[neverplays]

You can work in both if they need bridesmaids.

[heirdom]

That's true. Sort of. Why would they use smuggled women as bridesmaids?

[neverplays]

Maybe they need a lot of them. Like an army of them.

[heirdom]

That'd be an expensive wedding.

[neverplays]

They're on loan. So they probably just need a deposit.

[heirdom]

Unethical. Sounds like someone will need to crash this wedding to liberate them.

[neverplays]

Well, that'll put that movie over-budget.