1/018: Hallowheatley is another bad word pun that may be unoriginal.

[wheatdos]

No. I don't think that's even considered a pun.



Hank:
[Cue a friendly dictated voice from the familiar British bloke through the journal. Remember him? It's been quite a while, but he was the one asking you for advice to kill GLaDOS once upon a time...

He may have taken back on that.
Alot.]

Oh! Hello!... Um... Wheatley here!
Remember me? Hope you do... be-because I um... I-
I could really use your help right now, mate.
A bit of a proposition! If... If I can call it that.


Mistress:

[There's a familiar stuttering on the journal... a voice perhaps a bit too friendly, and he's talking right to you.]

Um! Hello!... L-love... I, uh...
Do you remember me?
Co-course you do...

[He mutters that last part to himself...]

I was wondering... if you could um, help me... with something.
Something, a bit... a bit important. Depends on your priorities and all that, but...
Important to me, for one.

You wouldn't happen to be... busy, would you?

Comments

[wheatdos]

Ehe...

[He pauses to think about it.]

Well, what do you like in a bloke, love?
let's speak um, hypothetically if you will...
Would you like a bloke like me enough to go out with me in public?

[Because Mistress and GLaDOS have all the things in common...]

[themistress]

I like obedience and an enormous cock. And you talk too much, but I suppose I would fuck you if you shut up for a while.

[wheatdos]

[Snerk.]

Oh...
I... um... well then. I... wow.

[A yes would have done well.]

You mean that?
In-in public, right?

S-sorry about all the questions... J-just wondering izzal.

[themistress]

I usually do things in public. I only move to a private room if it's cold or if the other person wants it or something.

[wheatdos]

U-usually?

[themistress]

Yes, usually. At parties, in the throne room, outside if I'm there, wherever. There's no sense in waiting.

[wheatdos]

I'm surprised you uh... don't get in trouble for things-- things like that.

[themistress]

Why would I get in trouble?

[wheatdos]

I've learned that... most people, don't like hearing about it. Nope. Freaks them out. I've even been hit mentioning it to a few people.

I knew you wouldn't mind... b-but, you know.

[themistress]

Most people are idiots.

[wheatdos]

[He Chuckles at that. Because he's not a moron, nope nope nope.]

Yes... that's true...!
Was it the same where you come from?

[themistress]

Of course it was. That's why I'm ruler and they aren't.

[wheatdos]

R-ruler?!
Wh-what?!

[A chuckle in disbelief. He's a bit fascinated.]

You ruled where you were from?
Thats impressive! I'm impressed!
Were you a queen? Queens are nice. Explains the crown...ny thingy.

[He remembers what you look like. After you tried to RAPE HIM.]

I... Must be nice! Doing what you want.

[themistress]

I'm better than queen. I'm Mistress, and yes, it's nice.

[wheatdos]

Isn't... isn't- that the same thing?

[themistress]

Not at all.

[wheatdos]

[THIS IS NOT RELATED BUT I WAS DRAWING AND THEN THIS HAPPENED.]

And-and how's that exactly different? If-if you're ruler...

[themistress]

[EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!]

It's just different. A queen isn't nearly as good.

[wheatdos]

[He really is that kind of guy that ends up in weird situations without knowing how it happened.]

Ehehehe. My mistake... my mistake.
Mistress then.
Didn't mean to insult you if I did. Just... just it's all so very interesting. Learning...

Am-am I talking too much again?

[themistress]

Yes. You are.

[wheatdos]

Well...I-
I should probably get going.
Things to do... ehe.

[Though he doesn't leave right away, pausing to think.]

Do you like cake?

[What brought that on?]

[themistress]

I do. My darling Sandoval likes it more. Why?

[wheatdos]

O-oh.

[He sounds enthusiastic at that 'yes'.]

I figured I c-could uh, make you one.
As a thank you.
If there's anything I can do, it's definitely make a delicious cake.

What's your favorite?

[themistress]

One that hasn't already been fucked.

[wheatdos]

...

[He's just narrowing his eyes at the journal now. Did he mishear that?]

I'm... sorry?

[He didn't realize this was a thing.]

I... um... wasn't going to mate with your cake love.
That- I-I'm sure that that was... the... last thing on my mind actually.
I didn't realize people... mated with your cakes.
Should... should I put something around it... s-so that... doesn't happen? A-accidentally?

[Because in his mind there are a group of people devoted to the sole purpose of mating with her cakes before she got them.]

I was just asking about...f-flavor. Actually... y-you know... chocolate... vanilla...