Seventeen Truffula Trees

[whichwayyoulean]

[The Once-ler is chilling in his room, occasionally plucking the strings of his guitar to this tune. While he speaks, he actually sounds genuinely happy. Ted’s arrival has put him in a good enough mood to Share. Lucky you]

I remember promising a few people I’d tell them a Christmas story from my world, well, today is that day. So grab yourselves a cup of hot cocoa and settle down for a great story. And if you don’t want to hear it, close the book and go play with a polar bear or something. Try not to get mauled!

[That done, he clears his throat, preparing to tell the tale. Every now and again, he’ll twang the guitar strings, the ever present threat of a Musical Number]

Legend tells that there lived a creature called the Grinch. He hated Christmas, in a world that loves it. Seriously, I am not even kidding. We go to town at this time of year. Decorations everywhere, a ton of food, singing, togetherness. You name it, we got it. Except for that zombie guy I keep hearing about, we don't have him. Anyhoo, they said it was because his heart was two sizes too small, because I guess that is a genuine medical condition in some places. He watched Christmas be celebrated year in and year out, from his mountain home.

Maybe if he actually lived in a place that was warm and not isolated from everyone ever, he might not have had that heart condition, I'm just saying. [Pot. Kettle. Black]

One Christmas Eve, he got pushed over the limit of his ability to ignore the festivities. So, he dressed himself in a red suit, strapped an antler to his dog's head, got onto a sleigh and headed down into the village in the dead of night.

[A couple more twangs of the guitar. More dramatic now. DUN DUN DUUUUN. Villainous things are happening right now]

In what must be the world record of breaking and entering offences, he started to steal Christmas from every home. All the presents, all the food, all the decorations, all the trees. Every single item that represented the holiday was taken and put on his sleigh. He headed back up to the top of his mountain, preparing to push everything over the edge and destroy everything.

Now if you haven't figured it out already, the Grinch is kind of a massive jerkward. And so before he dumped the sleigh, he stopped to listen. He wanted to hear the crying of the people, when they woke up to find Christmas had been taken away from them.

[The music softens now, becoming something much more gentle]

But he didn't hear crying. Instead, he heard the people singing. They stood in a circle, held hands and sang as tradition dictates anyway. He hadn't taken away Christmas at all, the spirit of togetherness still remained, without the material possessions that went with it. Because Christmas is about more than just that. I guess, whoever told this story never came to my house on Christmas day.

Realising his mistake, the Grinch's heart grew three sizes, and he took everything he stole back to the village, where the people were unusually understanding and allowed him to join in the festivities without pressing charges at all. And they all lived happily ever after.

So the moral of this story is that Christmas is something that can't be bought in a store, in fact it's something much more. And also heart attacks can change a person's entire outlook on life. The end.

Thank you for listening, if you liked that one, maybe next time I'll tell you about how a species of birds overcame rampant racism and learned to love and tolerate one another.

[Ino]

[That done, he has something IMPORTANT to do]

You said you weren't used to all this snow and ice, right? Have you ever been ice skating?

Comments

dictated forever!

[ftssusstgsetfwe]

That's a sort of beautiful story, and you have a fun way of story-telling. You should tell them more often.

I'd love to make a big deal over Christmas. I love the decorations here, for one thing. Anyway...

I look forward to hearing about the birds.

AND EVER

[whichwayyoulean]

Well, it's not the first career choice I'd have picked, but thank anyway.

Sure, other than the homicidal nutcrackers, the decorations have been pretty awesome. Though I don't get what is going on with all the ice and polar bears right now.

It'll be a rip roaring tale, I promise.

[ftssusstgsetfwe]

You're welcome! Really, I'd look into it.

Homicidal might be pushing it, but yeah. I like the ice! I'm not sure I trust the polar bears, though. [Sharp teeth, pointy teeth, same thing.] And the stuff they were giving people tasted weird and I couldn't sleep the night I drank it.

Good! That'll be fun.

[wilder]

[A pause after hearing that story because what the hell was that story]

And here I was so sure I didn't put liquor in my hot cocoa.

[whichwayyoulean]

[It was about the magic of Christmas Zelos, were you not listening?]

What? You don't have holiday stories where you come from?

Dictated (Just so you know, I have this exact Grinch vid on my Christmas Playlist)

[cyan_maid]

[Another person she knows telling a Christmas story! These are so fun to listen to, Jane's grinning the whole time you tell it. Also your inherent cheerfulness might also cheer her up too.

The story is...oddly familiar, like she's seen it on TV a million times before! But she can't put her finger on the reason.]

That was a lovely story! But I wonder, is this the same Grinch who supposedly stalks your world on Halloween night? If he learned to be kind, wouldn't he stop terrorizing everyone?

forever and aww yeaaaah

[whichwayyoulean]

[Good. He wants his friends to be happy at this time of year]

That's the one! The Christmas incident is the thing that made him turn over a new leaf.

dictated

[courageous_wit]

Oh, what a lovely story! Thank you for sharing it.

forever!

[whichwayyoulean]

You're welcome. I live to entertain.

[theabjectauthor]

That was both sufficiently heartwarming and odd.... Thank you.

[whichwayyoulean]

That right there? Can pretty much describe my entire world.

But thanks!

[billiardsplz]

...Racist birds.

[whichwayyoulean]

Racist birds.

[not_mafia]

[clearly there is only one part of this story that is worth bringing up]

...zombie guy?

[whichwayyoulean]

Yeah! That weird one that went into the cave or something.

I think he was born at Christmas? I don't get it. It must be an Earth thing.

Dictated

[kungfuwitch]

[She pauses. WOW that story sounds familiar. Though Once-ler tells it a little differently than the cartoon she remembers from when she was a little girl. In the end she just smiles.]

Thank you for sharing. You know... There's actually a kids book from my world with a similar story.

forever!

[whichwayyoulean]

[That surprises him]

Really? Stealing Christmas and everything?

[heloise]

[ WOW, ONCE, WAY TO TELL AN ALLEGORICAL BIOGRAPHY. Lucrezia also thinks this Grinch probably ate the heart of two other people to make his own grow. ]

Will you save the other story for Easter?

[whichwayyoulean]

[He would not be surprised by that at all]

Sure, it'll by holiday treat.

[originalcopy]

Pfft... I'd have kept the presents.

I mean if they were happy without them and all, maybe hey were better off without them.

[Why yes, Church is a "Grinch"]

[whichwayyoulean]

...

Wow. Way to miss the finding joy in your heart part of the story, buddy.

dictated

[findatree]

Oh, so you just tell all your stories with music.

forever! and keywords

[whichwayyoulean]

[Rude, Ted, RUDE]

Hello, it's called giving them atmosphere.

[Once-ler]

[ino]

[trying not to laugh at that story ...]

Did that really happen?

And yes, I've been ice skating a couple of times since I got here. Why, did you want to go?

[Ino]

[whichwayyoulean]

Some people say it did. I don't know, it might just be a story.

I figured we might as well take advantage of the ice while it's here. [He's missed having ice and snow]