paradisa | Seventeen Truffula Trees

[The Once-ler is chilling in his room, occasionally plucking the strings of his guitar to this tune. While he speaks, he actually sounds genuinely happy. Ted’s arrival has put him in a good enough mood to Share. Lucky you]

I remember promising a few people I’d tell them a Christmas story from my world, well, today is that day. So grab yourselves a cup of hot cocoa and settle down for a great story. And if you don’t want to hear it, close the book and go play with a polar bear or something. Try not to get mauled!

[That done, he clears his throat, preparing to tell the tale. Every now and again, he’ll twang the guitar strings, the ever present threat of a Musical Number]

Legend tells that there lived a creature called the Grinch. He hated Christmas, in a world that loves it. Seriously, I am not even kidding. We go to town at this time of year. Decorations everywhere, a ton of food, singing, togetherness. You name it, we got it. Except for that zombie guy I keep hearing about, we don't have him. Anyhoo, they said it was because his heart was two sizes too small, because I guess that is a genuine medical condition in some places. He watched Christmas be celebrated year in and year out, from his mountain home.

Maybe if he actually lived in a place that was warm and not isolated from everyone ever, he might not have had that heart condition, I'm just saying. [Pot. Kettle. Black]

One Christmas Eve, he got pushed over the limit of his ability to ignore the festivities. So, he dressed himself in a red suit, strapped an antler to his dog's head, got onto a sleigh and headed down into the village in the dead of night.

[A couple more twangs of the guitar. More dramatic now. DUN DUN DUUUUN. Villainous things are happening right now]

In what must be the world record of breaking and entering offences, he started to steal Christmas from every home. All the presents, all the food, all the decorations, all the trees. Every single item that represented the holiday was taken and put on his sleigh. He headed back up to the top of his mountain, preparing to push everything over the edge and destroy everything.

Now if you haven't figured it out already, the Grinch is kind of a massive jerkward. And so before he dumped the sleigh, he stopped to listen. He wanted to hear the crying of the people, when they woke up to find Christmas had been taken away from them.

[The music softens now, becoming something much more gentle]

But he didn't hear crying. Instead, he heard the people singing. They stood in a circle, held hands and sang as tradition dictates anyway. He hadn't taken away Christmas at all, the spirit of togetherness still remained, without the material possessions that went with it. Because Christmas is about more than just that. I guess, whoever told this story never came to my house on Christmas day.

Realising his mistake, the Grinch's heart grew three sizes, and he took everything he stole back to the village, where the people were unusually understanding and allowed him to join in the festivities without pressing charges at all. And they all lived happily ever after.

So the moral of this story is that Christmas is something that can't be bought in a store, in fact it's something much more. And also heart attacks can change a person's entire outlook on life. The end.

Thank you for listening, if you liked that one, maybe next time I'll tell you about how a species of birds overcame rampant racism and learned to love and tolerate one another.

[Ino]

[That done, he has something IMPORTANT to do]

You said you weren't used to all this snow and ice, right? Have you ever been ice skating?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sometimes they need a song the most of all.

And would the Easter song be a happy one?

I think it should be.

This one too. But it seems melancholic.

It is, but it at least has a happy ending.

I wonder if there is ever a happy ending in life, and if not, if that is why we resort to tales and songs instead.

I've pretty much heard of no real happy endings yet. So either they're not around, or I need to find people to hang out with who don't have terrible lives.

In life, everything ends in death, does it not? I wonder if that is such a terrible thing.

Well, the fact it's about as final as it gets is pretty darn depressing.

Death can be a good thing for some.

[He's about to argue with her, that actually, no, death is never a good thing. Simple because it's DEATH, that's it, game over.

...But. He wonders how much he'll end up longing for it, locked away from society for all those years...]

...On rare occasions.