02

[shenunigans]

RAPS

christmas more like shitmas
jingle butts
this aint right
i sell christmas and christmas accessories
cant think of a single fucking thing
i swear to god if they took my god damn ability to drop beats
damn it



[Now wait for the delay as Dave realises he's written all of this in the wrong journal...]

you know who has the plushest rump


santa

Comments

[brohoof]

That.

Is the holliest, jolliest, plushest rump that I ever did god damn see.

[shenunigans]

like a bowl full of jelly

[Kill him.]

[brohoof]

No.
I daresay dat ass has at least five bowls of jelly in each jiggling cheek.

[shenunigans]

i dont think anyone is ready for that jelly
not even miss santa

[brohoof]

No, I don't think she's ready for it at all.
Mr. and Mrs. Claus have to sleep in separate beds.
When he plops his jelly ass down, she tends to go sailing through the roof from the sheer force of it.
After a few years, she got tired of it.

[rogueofheart]

[Nepeta will be a brosis and not mention the lack of rapping abilities.]

:33 < he is the guy that likes milk and cookies right?
:33 < i bet that is why he has the plushest rump

[shenunigans]

[He likes you for a reason.]

it sure is
a mans gotta keep up a nifty regime if he wants to keep packing
booty like that is something you gotta work for
wouldnt you like to smack that

[rogueofheart]

:33 < i cant say that i want to smack it
:33 < but i think it would be funny if someone else did or poked it with a stick
:33 < maybe this is just me being an uninformed troll
:33 < but how does he do all the things people say he does if he is so big?
:33 < i was told that he goes down smoke chutes but those s33m purrtty narrow

[shenunigans]

i guess i thought cats had the whole smacking thing going on
especially if it jiggles like a fiesty critter
has nobody ever told you about christmas or has nobody ever told you about santa magic
cause the two pretty much go hand in fucking hand you know
are you sitting because if i have to tell the story youre gonna wanna sit down

[rogueofheart]

:33 < i may have b33n told the abridged fursion
:33 < i know who santa claws is but i dont know about the magic behind him sooo
:33 < *ac sits and curls into a comfy position so she can hear the story*
:33 < *she pays close attention and her tail sways in excitement*

[cyan_maid]

Hoo hoo hoo!
I'm not sure I want to think about Santa's behind, but this is hilarious!

[shenunigans]

if you need an adjective i got like five million here
admit it girl
you wanna give it a smack

yeah?
merry christmas then

[cyan_maid]

I think that if I did that, I wouldn't get any presents from him, now would I?

[shenunigans]

you dont know that
hell if you hit him hard enough he might give you even more presents

[cyan_maid]

Goodness!
No, no, there will not be any hitting of Santa on MY part!

[dupable]

wait, are you saying that the castle might have taken away your ability to write shitty raps?
wow! and it's not even christmas yet!

[shenunigans]

cant take what i dont have egbert
theres nothing shitty about my raps yo
check it


you


mother fucker

[dupable]

ok, ok i am not actually here to tell you how shitty they are.
(they're really shitty.)
but do you seriously think the castle took away your ability to rap?

[shenunigans]

oh wow well that really warms my fucking heart egbert
youre so sincere it hurts
aauuuuuughhh im dying stop being so genuine

i dunno
every time i try to test it i can write shit out or say it
i have rapstipation man
i have raptile dysfunction
shit sucks

[dupable]

raptile dysfunction sounds like a lizard disease.
maybe you are just having an off day?
unless this has been going on for a few days.

[psych0p0mps]

that is definitely some prime rump
who is santa though

[shenunigans]

this rump is so prime you could slap a brand sticker and a price on it and auction it off for christmas dinner
good luck getting it in any oven though
gonna have to hand roast it with a hair dryer

how do you trolls go so long without knowing the most important person in earth history

[psych0p0mps]

well dave primarily it has to do with not growing up on earth!
:p

[shenunigans]

well excuse me princess
i figured you guys did your homework
i mean cmon its not hard
you can condense the history of the world in one fatal rap song

[psych0p0mps]

oh really
i dont think i have heard this deadly poem