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Hello lovelies.

Hasn't it been a grim couple of days? All of you running around with sad faces because your little secrets are on display...You've really been bringing me down :-(

There are worse things in the world that can happen to a person.

Never mind. Tomorrow is another day chums.

Just remember that your secrets and lies will always remain no matter how many baths you get from Dumbo and his friends.

All my love.

The tooth fairy.

[ Good morning residents of Paradisa. Moriarty knows you all indulged in a little alcohol last night.

That sort of behaviour isn't for him of course...such boring, vulgar and silly little party games.

However being a dick to people who are suffering kind of is his thing.

So of course he can't resist playing this on his stereo system as loud as he can and holding the journal up to the speakers.

Enjoy party people.]

[Moriarty is busy toying away with his laptop. He's bored...but like that's a surprise to anybody.

Opportunities for mischief and worthy playmates have been very few and far between lately, so he's passing the time with menial little things such as being a techno geek.

However an urge comes over him...an urge to do something he'd never usually do in a million years.He starts to sing.

It's also worth noting his journal has been left open.]

Look around everywhere you turn is heartache
It's everywhere that you go (look around)
You try everything you can to escape
The pain of life that you know (life that you know)

When all else fails and you long to be
Something better than you are today
I know a place where you can get away
It's called a dance floor, and here's what it's for, so

( Cut for lyrical goodness )

....Well that was new.

[ So yes being a spider for a week has been fun....if you ignore the whole almost being captured by Muraki thing and didn't mind being shot with a needle gun.

Incidentally OW! 5...that really stung!

So what has he missed? More people arriving, people bitching about being old...nothing exciting really.

Is it time to test the waters again...why not?

Lets see the damage this past week has done to peoples personalities.]

Hello you cheery people...I'd love a moment of your time if you don't mind? I have an interesting scientific experiment I'd like to try.

( Read more... )

[ So all he wanted was a nice book to read, something to keep his mind occupied for a short period of time in between evil schemes and trolling.

What he did not expect was to blackout in the lobby on the way to the library.

What he also didn't expect when he woke up from a blackout was to be waaay shorter then he already was and considerably more hairy.

Seriously castle...this is so uncool.]

OOC: Moriartys second loss is go!

[ He knows the filters are broken

He listens and pays attention...but this doesn't mean he can't have fun with it.]

[ (Broken filter) Private ]

Dear Journal

I had such a strange dream last night...it starts with me in a bar in some rough part of town and ends with me wearing nothing but a pair of hot pants and fish net tights. I was also dancing the Can-can in...

Oh no...it wasn't a dream.

Oh dear.

[OOC:Apologies for accidently posting this to Paradisa Beyond to begin with...my bad.]

( Game time )

[Ok so Hook was the latest evil doer playmate to be sent back home by the castle...time to do a bad guy head count in the form of a fun survey.]

[Villain/ Ally filter.]

Hello again my friends. It has been so long since I addressed you all personally, I was afraid you might think I'd gone off you.

This place has been a busy little hive lately hasn't it? Full of busy bees getting in the way, making so much noise...buzz buzz buzz.

I have a question for you all. Which particular ~~bee~~ resident do you think deserves to be stomped on the most? Which of Paradisas high and mighty would you have crawling on their hands and knees begging to be put out of their misery?

Come on...there has to be somebody whose existence here you utterly despise?

Don't worry all answers will remain private...I'm very good at client confidentiality.

[ It would take something special to get Jim "The Grinch" Moriarty out from his hidey hole on Christmas day.

However if he didn't leave then how would he be able to show off his lovely Christmas present the castle has given him? On top of his head sits an exact replica of the Crown of the queen mother...the very one he "borrowed" from the Tower of London.

Of course it is a fake, it's just quite a convincing fake and seems very out of place on him.

So he's just casually sitting at his laptop in the lobby with the crown on his head in a blatant attempt to show it off to the world.

Why don't you come give the attention whore what he wants?]

[Yeahh no, he's not setting foot outside his room whilst all this kissing nonsense is going on.

He can barely stand people touching him...let alone kiss him.

Also the fact that he started a fight with a big ass demon last time there was a castle-wide epidemic is still fresh in his memory. God knows what might happen this time.]

Are you all quite finished with the free love you're all so keen to give out?

As adorable as it is, you do know this is how diseases are spread?

[Yep Moriarty is well and truly infected. His usual quick temper is a little more prominent today. He's wandering the halls looking for shit to wreck.

Be careful when speaking to him...his cray cray levels are somewhat off the scale.]

Oh no people are sick, whinge whinge whinge!

Do you people have any idea how boring you all are? No you don't, you don't actually listen to those idiotic words that come out of your mouth.

God it's pathetic!

It's why my time here has felt like nine years instead of months...having to listen to this constant drivel!

[What follows is the sound of a chair being thrown against a wall.]

Stop broadcasting every little thing that takes place in your pathetic little lives!

Well woopty doo another world change.

Another world change that will end up the way it usually does...either with something trying to kill us all or end up being a dull, mundane anti-climax that bores me to tears.

[The world change? Not really a problem for Jim. He just likes to moan.

However this next issue is one that really irritates him..]

As for this "wardrobe" the castle has given me...has it actually seen an issue of GQ or any type of fashion magazine from after 1989?

I don't do retro darlings.

Mister Sandman, bring me a dream.
Make him the cutest that I've ever seen.
Give him two lips like roses in clover.
Then tell him that is lonesome nights are over.

Golly gosh haven't we all been a big bunch of sleepyheads lately?

So many people have fled this bricked prison recently...so many little birdies flying the nest.

No real pattern to these departures either. I mean does it not depress you all that a young lady of no significance gets to go home after two weeks, and yet some of you have been held here for years and years?

Oh well...maybe the only "way out" truly does lie with the castle and it's fickle nature.

How sad.

Still until your number gets called, have another puzzle to help pass the time.

Uvzi nzpvh gsv dlou yrttvi gszm sv rh.

[ooc: Code can be solved using an Atbash Cipher, Basically, when encoded, an "A" becomes a "Z", "B" turns into "Y", etc.

http://rumkin.com/tools/cipher/atbash.php]

[Wow two Moriarty posts in the space of a week? Aren't you people lucky?.

Except he's in a bit a mood, the castle's habit of sending home people he considers fun and smart has continued...as he found out when he made a house call to Clove earlier.

You all get a voice post...sod being a creepy troll towards the newbies for a change.]

Ding-Dong

Just a quick public service announcement that Miss Clove has left the building.

I repeat...Miss Clove has left the building.

[Well then, to business...because he's a curtious professional after all.]

[Filtered to Hank Henshaw]

It's done.

Results were...oh heck with it, I don't use this word often enough...results were impressive.

[Normally that would be all. However Jim wouldn't be Jim if he wasn't spaming the journal network in some way.]

Hellloo Paradisa.

Hasn't it been quiet lately? Maybe the castle is waiting for those kind brave souls on the expedition to return before hitting us with the next disaster? That would be sooo typical of this place wouldn't it?

Anyway I hope you all don't mind indulging me in a quick survey ...what do you people do for entertainment in between these events?

[Not that he actually cares or anything. He's just looking to kill time before Hank answers him.]

Bravo Paradisa...You couldn't think of a more basic, ordinary and above all else clichéd way to try and make up for all the bad things you’ve done to us over the months?

Just stick us all in front of a lot of flashing lights and loud noises and we'll be a lot more amicable towards you eh?...Bah I'm almost insulted.

[Of course his words might be considered more sincere if it wasn't for the fact he's casually eating popcorn out a bag and waiting in a queue for the Ferris wheel.]

[Well he was planning on pretending to still be good old Richard Brook because he likes nothing better then to mess with people. But this past week has drained him to the point he can't be bothered to keep up the charade.

The Brook personality was bad enough, but the family man Moriarty was a glimpse at what his life could have been like if he was boring, ordinary and had chosen a far duller path in life. ]

Is it too much to ask to keep my original personality and history for longer then a few days? Ugh you might as well install a revolving door in my head lately.

At the very least I should qualify for a free toaster after my next change.

[ So yeah Moriarty has been catching up with what's been going on whilst he mentally blacked out and had another personality transplanted into his head for 2 weeks....Saying he's merely "pissed off" doesn't quite cover it.]

[Paradisa]
~~You miserable heap of bricks I'll turn you into dust for that!~~

[He starts again, a little more composed. He knows he won't get a response but his ego and temper simply won't allow him to stay silent]

If that was supposed to be your idea of a joke, I've heard better....and mine are funnier.

[Unlike Paradisa, theres a slight chance that this next filter will get a response...But only slight.]

[Sherlock Holmes]
Lets not insult each others intellegence by pretending you weren't watching that.

Get a good laugh at me did you?

[Filtered to Delirium, Clove, Hank and any villainous types who might have seen or spoke to him in the past two weeks.]
I'm going to put this as simple as I possibly can.

That. Wasn't. Me.....End of story.

Oh sorry excuse the bad pun.

[Yeah Moriarty has basically abused the hell out of the wish system during his stay here, because hey what sort of chump does things for themselves?

Unfortunately "Jim" technically isn't here so his karmic wish backlash falls on Richard Brook here.

And boy does he feel rough.]

Does...anybody have an aspirin or something? It's just I'm getting the most awful of migraines

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