Article 5

[bro_codebreaker]

[so, thanks to Crowley, Barney has been a little scarce recently. anyone looking for a bout of karaoke, laser tag, or other awesome activities may have had to cool their heels recently. he's been uncharacteristically quiet.

and then there's an unholy shriek over the journals]

OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE....?!

NonononoNONONONONO! Go back! WHERE'S THE UNDO BUTTON...

[congratulations, Barney. you have discovered the grandmapocalypse.]

Comments

[unvarnished]

I have to ask: what happened?

[bro_codebreaker]

... [shakily] I think I broke the grandmas.

[unvarnished]

You're still playing that game?

[bro_codebreaker]

Well, yeah, I don't have all the upgrades and stuff yet.

[unvarnished]

I think I need to introduce you to the sunlight. It's warm and doesn't cause a grannypocalypse. That I know of.

[bro_codebreaker]

We've met, I just haven't gone visiting in a while. ... Is it still nice out?

[unvarnished]

Yeah, the weather's great. From what I understand, it'll probably stay that way until maybe October or November.

[onlyanapple]

There is no undo button. Just like life.

[bro_codebreaker]

... I am a ruiner of worlds, Crowley. The universe is a mass of dough and despair and it is all my fault.

[onlyanapple]

You were warned that upgrade was a bad idea. You still did it though. Proof that if there was a universal undo button, some human would push it within five seconds of discovering it.

[bro_codebreaker]

.... You think there really could be one of those somewhere?

[really. this is your best friend, Crowley. how do you feel about your life decisions right now?]

[onlyanapple]

[His life would be horrendously boring without Barney, at least]

If there were, I think I'd feel obligated to never tell you.

[bro_codebreaker]

So that means there probably is, right?

[honeytoes]

[Ok owwww.]

It's fine...it's ok.

I never really liked my eardrums anyway.

[bro_codebreaker]

... but the grandmas, you liked them, didn't you? Everybody loves grandmas. God, I'm a monster.

[honeytoes]

[Grandmas...what the hell?]

Ok uh first question...are you high?

Also second question If you are...can I have some?

[bro_codebreaker]

No. Maybe if I were high that would make this less terrif-- ohmygod the cookies are red now.

[honeytoes]

Cookies?

[Facepalm.]

You're still playing that game aren't you?

[bro_codebreaker]

Uh, yeah.

[is there something wrong with that?]

[babyaliendaddy]

HOLY SHIT DUDE, what's wrong? What is it? Is it bug aliens? More ceiling guys?
... please tell me it's not another dragon.

[bro_codebreaker]

[one. horrified whisper.]

No.

It's the grandmas.

[babyaliendaddy]

[...Well shit.]

Ah.

What ... what are the grandmas?

[bro_codebreaker]

Nice grandmas. To bake more cookies. I had a hundred and fifty of them. And they all loved me until ... until ... the research.

[babyaliendaddy]

Barney, I am going to try and ask this, as delicately as possible.

What the fuck are you talking about?

[bro_codebreaker]

[right. right. he pulls himself together, breathing deeply]

Cookie Clicker.