(no subject)

[atrophied]

[ Forward dated a few hours: ]

Good morning, fellow castle-bound brethren. A note. Unless you are actually bleeding out of extra orifices, your eyes are melting or your skin is peeling away from your bones, the clinic is closed. We're not equipped to treat pathetic whining.

If anyone has a problem with that, we don't care.

Today's public service announcement brought to you by Tide. Tide. For all your stain removal needs.

Disclaimer: results may vary.

Comments

[save_the_souls]

[There's so many things wrong with this post but-]

Is it really wise to suggest they use detergent to remove the markings?

[atrophied]

You're right. I should have gone with Clorox. Have you smelled what times some of them are from?

[save_the_souls]

...If anyone comes in because they feel like their eyes are melting from Tide or Clorox, they can be your patient.

[atrophied]

I'm indisposed.

[save_the_souls]

Doing what?

[molotov]

[Molotov: conveniently an adult just in time to deal with this bullshit!

She just sounds dry about this, though.]

Well, good thing I did not bother asking you to take a look, then. You have seen me naked enough.

[atrophied]

You know how to hit me where it hurts.

[molotov]

You are the one who put out the message. And my stupid stains go all the way down, too.

[atrophied]

...Describe them.

[bronwe]

But the sea is so far away.

[ WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT TIDES? ]

[atrophied]

Then you better start running.

[bronwe]

I have no stains, but do you suppose salt water would help them?

[atrophied]

Try it. Let me know what happens.

Dictated

[shenunigans]

I have two questions. One, Are there any negative side effects associated with Tide? Can I expect itching and, more importantly, where?

Secondly, Is it safe to take Tide with our other daily detergent doses? I'm taking two shots of febreze a day and the occasional hit of windex, I don't wanna overdose.

dictated

[atrophied]

1) As long as you follow instructions on the bottle, side effects should be minor to nonexistent. If you do start itching, you've got bigger problems.

2) Experimentation with mice show no detrimental effects to health from combining any of those products. Just make sure it's plain Tide and not Tide with Downy. Windex and Downy do not get along.

dictated

[shenunigans]

Right. Gotcha. Itchy, big problems. Downy and windex, no bueno.

Out of curiousity, you ever treated melted eyes and peeling skin? Dunno if Doctor/Patient confidentiality applies here.

dictated

[atrophied]

Yes, yes, and confidentiality is an ethical term meaning it continues to be valid everywhere the person who subscribes to it goes to, the giant pain in the ass.

[assassino]

[Grouchy, of course, given his current predicament.]

What is Tide supposed to do? I just need a vial of opium and a large bottle of wine.

[molotov]

Ezio, opium is a terrible coping method.

[assassino]

It works just fine in my time!

[atrophied]

No, she's right, it's awful. Try heroin.

[whichwayyoulean]

...I can hear the screaming of people who got soap in their eyes from here.

[In a higher-fake-faraway-voice] It must be safe, Doctor House told us sooooooo.

[atrophied]

If they had to clean things out of their eyes, they had other problems to start.

[ Plus detergent to the eye would make a more interesting case than he's seen in months :x ]

[whichwayyoulean]

[Well, he already has smog in his eyes, but he'll carefully avoid that one. He doesn't particularly want his fake father taking any sort of medical interest in the pollutive by-products he's created]

So I take it you've had a lot of people in the clinic? Just after that no-hangover rule, too. Sucks to be you guys.

[atrophied]

Just after the hangovers and the earthquake. We've only got a skeleton crew here; everyone else is still working in the city.