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[wilder]

[Dictated]

Hi everyone! Since the journals all got a clean out, I think it's time we make a good guide for all the newcomers to help clear things up! And since I'm a charitable guy with a lot of time on my hands, I went ahead and did it!

THE NEWGUY'S NEWCOMER'S GUIDE TO PARADISA!
by the great Professor Zelos Wilder!

1. Welcome to Paradisa! It's a magic castle in a magic world away from yours! You got kidnapped here and you're stuck until the castle takes you home or we find a way out ourselves!

2. Yes magic and sentient castles exist, for you skeptics out there. You get used to it!

3. Everyone is supposed to get a loss! It can be a memory, item or ability! Though I haven't found my loss yet so it's possible that some of us are just too amazing to get one heh heh heh.

4. The castle can give you most things you wish for! Though that doesn't include weapons or giant things or people. We're still working on if it's has biases in stuff like the best bread ever!

5. That room you probably woke up in? Is your room during your stay! If you didn't wake up in a room, look on the doors for a nameplate!

6. The kitchen is on the first floor! Though you can ask the ghost servants for food so I'm still not sure why you'd go all the way down there to get food, but there you go! The clinic's on the second floor! And there's a library...somewhere!

7. Sometimes the castle does crazy stuff! If a person is acting really weird, it's called a loss! I couldn't tell you why it's called that and I think it's really confusing, but when you're in Paradisa you do as Paradisans do! If we go to a different place, that's a world change!

8. No one really knows what we're doing here or why we were picked or why people show up when they do, but I'm sure there's theories abound. I think personally the castle has good tastes- there are a lot of pretty looking people here!

9. Death only lasts two weeks here, but I haven't seen it for myself yet. Kiiinda hoping it doesn't happen that often that I'd have to put it to the test.

10. When you get sent home, your memories get wiped! So don't be surprised if you show up here and there's some beautiful hunny demanding where you've been. Just count yourself lucky that some darling lady has missed you so! Unless of course, her way of missing you is to be violent when you show up again. Also, time works kinda funny here so don't be surprised if your buddy is from the future or the past. It happens!

Well...that's all I can think of so far and ten is a nice number to leave off! But if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask~!

[OOC: I'm...so sorry okay. SO SORRY]

Comments

[checklist]

[ She was about to commend this guy for being helpful!

...And then she recognized his voice.

Never mind. Not commenting. ]

[wilder]

[Hey how many times does he have to say it? He didn't kill the unicorn!]

[It was dead by the time he joined the group]

dictated

[waterbends]

That's really.. nice, Zelos.

dictated

[wilder]

Why thank you, Ice Princess! I thought it should help clear things up for new people!

dictated ]

[notanthea]

[Amused. Someone thinks highly of himself.]

Helpful.

dictated ]

[wilder]

[Oh she sounds cute *A* ]

Really? Well I'm always glad to help out!

written... sort of

[heliotroping]

[he was about to comment, then he saw the end comment on the hunnies

He'll just leave his pen hanging and the ink dropping]

[wilder]

Huh?

Oh! Is someone made speechless by how complete and amazing this guide is?

written;

[ardor]

Jerk.

[wilder]

[What's that Kallen? Is that a ink spill over your words?]

Oh whoops! Sorry about that.

[triela]

[amused] If only I had a guide like this when I first arrived here. I had to hit the ground running.

[wilder]

Heh heh, I know right? I didn't have a guide either and boy was it confusing!

dictated

[teds_out]

...yyyeeeah, nobody's gonna take this seriously.

[Pause.]

Especially not with the hearts.

dictated

[wilder]

Maybe not at first, but they'll come around!

The hearts were added by some anonymous contributor. Very generous, I must say!

dictated;

[formersocialite]

I think it should be renamed to 'Newcomer's guide to Paradisa.' Since, you know, not everyone who comes here is a guy. Or human even.

dictated;

[wilder]

Hmmm...that is a good point! I wouldn't want to offend the lovely ladies of the castle now!

Thans!

[heloise]

How kind you are.

[wilder]

Why thank you!

I only hope I'm able to help out some people here!

[noblefive]

Yep. Seems as though you do have too much time on your hands.

[wilder]

Yeah, well that tends to be what happens when you get kidnapped by a magic castle.

[cricketycricket]

Not a bad start, Zelos, but ... It's a bit gender-specific for an all-inclusive guide, wouldn't you say?

[hey, it's better constructive criticism than "this kinda sucks, dude"]

[wilder]

Huh. You really think so? I made sure to change the title.

[demontobeloved]

Good job, professor. I assume you can prove that you're one, right?

[wilder]

Of course I can. Back home, one of my side gigs was to tutor people in mathematics!

dictated.

[bubbleglub]

T)(ANK YOU Z---ELOS!
T)(is is very t)(oug)(tful!
I'm impressed. 38)
I never )(eard about t)(e deat)( part before...
Well, it seems better t)(an dying forever.

Re: dictated.

[wilder]

Why thank you, my exotic Feferi!

And doesn't it? I didn't find out for a few months either, or the part about the dead coming back here. It was pretty surprising.

[heal_theworld]

[It takes a few seconds, but Martel recognizes that voice as the man who talked to her in Paris who seemed like her knew her.]

This is an interesting list. Helpful, but yet... oddly specific. [She's trying to be nice here.]

[wilder]

[And he sure recognizes that voice!]

-- Martel?

Heh heh...thanks. I tried to give it..some personal flair to make it interesting.

[exanimatus]

[he wasn't going to say anything, but...]

The tenth one is debatable, as of late.

[wilder]

Oh yeah because of the Paris thing?

You really think all of us just head to those cities or something?

dictated;

[melodist]

This is certainly... unique.

dictated;

[wilder]

Why thank you, my hunny! I thought giving it my own personal touch would make people read it more!

[youfallback]

[Welp this only makes her think more and more that the Castle can't be real.]

And how long have you been here, Professor Wilder?

[wilder]

About three and a half months now!

[Dictated]

[not_the_dreck]

[...hunny. What. Is this even.]

[He was about to comment on that, but he was more distracted about what this idiot said about losses.]

Hn... so you haven't found your loss either...

[Dictated]

[wilder]

Nope not yet. All my abilities are fine and to the best of my knowledge, nothing's missing memory wise.

[longaevus]

Actually your final point isn't entirely accurate, not anymore.

There have been a few that have returned to Paradisa with their memories. Not many but some.

[wilder]

Yeah...but doesn't that raise the question that maybe we'll never actually go home and we're stuck in a loop forever?

Seems pretty depressing news to give people when we're still figuring it out.