paradisa | [ Dictated and filtered away from First Gens and people who would use this against the expedition ]

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vanyel ashkevron

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I know you all might be a bit tired of hearing these, but please bear with me and hear one more.

We have asked that some stay behind to guard the Castle, and it is not a bad idea. I have opted to stay as part of that group, given much of my skill is magical in nature and will be nullified in the Dead Zone. That being said, there are also parts out there where magic could work and not knowing what you will find, I thought to make charms of protection for people to take.

While they might lose their power in the Dead Zone, if magic is regained, they could come in handy, especially if you should face combat. It is a long shot, but I would like to make everyone as prepared as possible, in any way we can. If you would like some, please contact me through the journals or if you run into me in the castle I also know how to pack for long land journeys if anyone is having trouble deciding what to bring.

If nothing else, I hope they might bring luck and comfort.

[ Filtered to Tylendel ]

When you spare moments, find me?

[ /End Filter ]

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_{[ ooc: Action thread is fine :) ]}

_{[ Vanyel goes outside, commandeering them a spot beneath a fine tree
and spreading out a blanket the color of his favorite dark blue. Oh, he was
peacoking again, but it was one of his lovable traits wasn't it? He settled
down to wait for 'Lendel, sure the other would find him soon, concentrating
as he wished up the dishes Clow had introduced him to, opening his eyes to
a world of culinary delights. ]}

(ooc: So you know that laptop I was using... I spilled ginger ale on it and it shorted out. Yeah. /screams Good thing I have another computer I can use.)

(Tylendel is wearing a golden brown shirt and dark brown pants, which bring out the golden tones in his hair and on his skin. He has managed to gain some color since arriving - mostly thanks to his rather curious nature - but he still isn't as tan and healthy looking as he once was.

Regardless, the moment he sees Van, he beams and hurries his steps, stretching out his legs so he covers more ground. When he is close enough, he gives his lover a very warm kiss as a greeting.)

Did you wish for this blanket, Van? (He chuckles at the hue.)

Edited 2013-08-29 19:10 (UTC)

_{[ Always his lifebonded was beautiful. It never failed to amaze him,
that the sight of him was like watching a god come down from the heavens.
He laughed at the comment, accepting the kiss with a pleased flutter of his
eyes, resisting the urge to moan. It was a terrible habit of his, making
such noises whenever Tylendel kissed him, and he should curb it for the
sake of decorum. ]}

Well, it was this or sit on the grass, and I would hate to see your trousers stained.

_{[ He patted Tylendel's knee and then turned as he wished up their
food, steaming plates of Chinese dishes that smelled of lemon and orange
and peppers. ]}

(Tylendel would have blushed if he had known what Vanyel was thinking. He knows that he has more than a little charm - physically and mentally - but to be called beautiful...

Well that's a rarity that he would savor to the utmost. Particularly considering how exquisite Vanyel is in his eyes.

As for the moan, Havens no! He will become quite cross if Vanyel ever tries to stifle that. It sends a delicious chill up his spine and he only has the desire to keep his lover fully...er...occupied.)

I have a feeling you were thinking more about your trousers than mine. (His eyes twinkle good-naturedly and he sits down. When the food appears, his eyes widen and he sniffs the air.) I've never smelled something like this before! What is it?

Edited 2013-08-30 02:47 (UTC)

_{[ He smiled, glad to be able to surprise Tylendel when before it had
been Tylendel surprising him. The switch was not unwelcome and made him
flush with pride and pleasure. ]}

They are dishes a friend of mine made for me. I don't think you ever met him, and he's gone home now. His name was Clow Reed. I think you would have liked him, 'Lendel. Apparently, these are traditional dishes from a land known as China in his world.

(Tylendel takes a bite from one of the dishes, blinking in surprise at the myriad of flavors on his tongue.)

Clow Reed? I don't know if I ever spoke to someone with that name.

(His expression softens sadly.)

Did he go home? What is his China like?

(He doesn't want to hurt Vanyel by bringing up sad memories, but he is curious.)

It was an advanced world and also an ancient sort of world. It was hard to explain and he was such an odd man at times.

_{[ But he had cared for him and found comfort in his arms and bed. He
had been a friend, as his loss tugged at him. ]}

It sounded wonderful, really. I wish I could have properly seen it.

_{[ He tucked into the food, savoring the sweet clash of flavors on his
tongue. ]}

(Tylendel pauses, swallowing the bite in his mouth. He tilts his head and observes Vanyel, expression thoughtful.)

You cared for him. (He nods faintly.) Van, did you love him?

_{[ He blinked, caught off guard. He had not expected the question, but
he knew the answer, and shook his head. ]}

I cared for him, but I didn't love him. We... comforted each other, but I think we both knew that love wasn't something between us. Only that we had both suffered our losses.

(A nasty curl of jealousy retreats inside of him and he grimaces faintly. He should know better; he should be better for Vanyel's sake. Sometimes he feels like there's two of him: one that wants to be the best lover possible for Vanyel and the other that wants to mire himself in bitterness and pain. He knows which side he should pay attention to. He knows better.

Glancing down at his hands, he thinks his words through carefully.)

Then I feel sorry for him. No one should have to experience any sort of loss - especially if they're a good person.

_{[ Vanyel shrugged. He himself had become numb to the idea of pain and
loss. Well, not numb, but it was such a constant in his life that when it
happened it was merely a buzzing, a tickling of his nerves that he shoved
aside and worked through inches at a time, if ever. Apollo and Clow stung,
they still did. The losses of the other Heralds. They hung like a miasma
inside of him, circling his heart and his sole and the hole that had been
there even since Tylendel died that night.}

He reached out, taking his life bonded's hand. He laced their fingers and he squeezed then, rubbing the back of it with his thumb and wanted to drown in the sweet bliss of that feeling. ]

Everyone has to experience loss sometime, my love. Else, how can we remember and truly treasure the good things we have in our lives?

(The shrug alarms him. It's amazing how one simple motion can jar him out of his moodiness. Immediately, he is closing the space between them and brushing Vanyel's hair away from his neck. He then lays a kiss against his lover's skin, eyes closed tightly.)

It was a lesson I had to learn... (His voice is raw with emotion.) I think that's why I...

(Squeezing Vanyel's hand, he pulls back and takes a deep breath.)

I feel so desperate sometimes. It's like a part of me is still...shattered. I healed physically, but mentally...

(He's not sure and it frightens him.)

_{[ He tucked his tongue and he shifted closer, wrapping his arms around
his lover and bringing him in close. It felt so strange, being the stable
one now, when before he had been the broken young man leaning on Tylendel
for support. Somehow, this made it seem like their relationship was coming
full circle. But the thing about circles was that they had no end, and so
he was all right with it. ]}

I understand. It takes time, my love, but we have time here.

_{[ He kissed his golden hair, stroked the back of his curls and let
them sift through his fingers. ]}

I think one of the keys is to stop worrying so much and for the moment enjoy our lunch and for a moment forget about past shadows.

(The solid warmth of Vanyel brings everything back into focus. He slides a hand over his lover's chest and up to his neck. Once there, he touches the skin so lightly that it's almost like he is afraid to mar his lover.

But he has marred him. It may not be visible on his skin, but it's there, deep inside.)

I need to talk about it sometimes. I can't keep it inside. (He exhales and pulls away, refocusing on their lunch.) Van, this is good. (He takes another bite, smiling faintly.) Thank you for sharing this with me.

I am not saying we should not.

_{[ He reached out and touched his chin gently, stroking his thumb down
the line of it. He had once thought it sharp and mature, and now he saw the
fine baby edges that in a few years time would become strong and firm and
even more beautiful, an angel made a warrior in the service of the kingdom.
]}

But do not speak of it so much that we loose sight of the gift we have been given in being together again, my love. Let us enjoy this and make good memories that shall outshine those dark clouds.

You're right. (All of the grace and maturity he always wanted to possess is sitting beside him. No longer is Vanyel a cold, callous boy who is desperately hiding his pain. Instead, he's someone who can not only face his pain but master it completely. Tylendel can't help but want to draw on that wisdom and power - just to steady himself. He would never even consider using Vanyel for his own gains.)

Have you ever made love in the sunlight? (His brown eyes warm and he tips his head back.) I want to make so many memories with you. Our world seems so far away already.

_{[ And in that question some of the young boy Vanyel had been came out,
his pale cheeks turning a fine red. For all he was a grown man and had made
love to men and had sex with women, those moments were so far and in
between that sex still seemed like a complicated, magical act only to be
read of in books. Thinking of doing it himself, even with his lover here
and their physical activities showing no sign of granting them long nights
of sleep any time soon, brought his cheeks to burning. ]}

No, I had never thought of it. I was always traveling during the day, so I don't suppose it occurred to me I could make time for such things. Or do you mean in a bed chamber?

_{[ Sex in the open? Surely his love was joking. ]}

(Seeing that wonderful flush of color, Tylendel leans closer, grinning devilishly.) I mean on the grass in full view of the Havens. (He kisses Vanyel's ear.) Or maybe under a big tree when there's a nice breeze. I admit it's shameless, but it's also... (His expression softens.) appealing too. Why should we fear someone seeing us? This isn't Valdemar or anywhere else that has strict guidelines about such things...

No, of course, but even so, decency should be seen to...

_{[ His cheeks remained flush and he busied himself eating bits of
lemon-sauce coated chicken.}

It was hard to take something out of Vanyel that had been so ingrained in him since he was very young by mother and father. The Tayledras had not worked it out of him, only softened it, but they had their own manners to adhere to.]

(Tylendel watches his lover intently before moving in and pressing his lips to Vanyel's ear.)

If you're more comfortable in our bed, that's where we'll stay. I was only teasing you, love. (He rubs a hand over Vanyel's back soothingly.) Savil used to say I was shameless. I guess I am.

_{[ He laughed at that, a momentary flare of longing and pain flashing
through him at the mention of his aunt. He missed her - her gruff wisdom,
not dulled from age in the least. He often found himself wishing for her
presence, even here, and it had been a constant struggle for him back home
coping with the realization she would pass from the world soon.}

Still, he turned, kissing his lover, licking the sweet and spicy sauces from his lips, sucking the bottom one for a long moment and letting it draw itself out. ]

You are perfectly shameless, my love. But I am not totally unadventurous. I will have you know I have made love in a barn before.

(Tylendel grins against Vanyel's lips, heart beating faster. Oh he misses Savil too. He expects he always will. She was his teacher, his healer, his protector and his mother (at least in his heart).

He doesn't even want to think about the pain he caused her by his actions.

In fact, he quickly clamps down on that thought by kissing Vanyel harder, his brow furrowed.)

Mmm I make no apologies for that. (Especially considering Vanyel has never seemed to mind him being shameless.) A barn? Was Yfandes listening in? Oh Van, that is far, far more revealing than making love in the grass!

Yfandes is a lady, you rogue!

_{[ He laughed and lightly shoved his now much younger lover, cheeks
flushing in merriment, sunshine turning his raven locks a dark purple, the
silver streak brilliant against it. ]}

She politely turns away, thank you. She was the one who encouraged it, actually. Which was an odd experience considering I mostly hid out in barns.

_{[ That maid back home... he felt bad for avoiding her so, but how else
could he avoid bringing up her hopes when there was none to be had? ]}

And if you ask me, out in the open grass is much more revealing. At least in a barn there are places to hide!

So was Gala and she wanted to listen in.

(Tylendel smirks devilishly and playfully falls over, sprawling on the ground with all the drama of someone in the theater. He covers his heart as if he is in agony when he is actually enjoying the sight of his lover.)

... (Sitting up, his expression softens and there is only tender love in his eyes.) She knew you were lonely, my Ashke. I'm relieved you have her.

(Chuckling, Tylendel wraps an arm around Vanyel's shoulders.)

I don't want you to hide. I want to see you in all your naked glory.

_{[ His eyes widened. ]}

Did you... did you let her listen in when we were making love?!

_{[ The thought galled him and embarrassed him to no end and his ears
burned at the thought of Gala listening to him as Tylendel did such
wonderful things to him. Vanyel was not necessarily quiet at that age...}

He took the other's weight as the arm wrapped around him, mouth still twisted into a pout. ]

Seriously, was she there in the back of your mind when you... when we... Havens...

_{[ He shook his head, cheeks burning now too. ]}

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